Having an affair with your neighbor may seem like a good idea at first, but it’s a tricky situation in the long run. If the relationship turns sour you’ll be left in an awkward environment at best, hostile at worst. Here are some reasons outlining why you shouldn’t becoming romantically involved with your neighbor.
Reason One: When Things Go Bad, You’re Still Neighbors
While you shouldn’t put all of your focus on a potential negative outcome, you need to think about all of the long term implications of having a romantic affair with your neighbor. No matter what happens, you’re required to stay in your apartment for the length of your lease. If you and your neighbor have a bad break up, there’s hardly any room for distance. When you break up with someone, the biggest comfort is not having to see that person on a day to day basis—if at all. You hardly have that luxury when you both live in the same apartment building. Think about this before you begin liaising with your neighbor.
Reason Two: Too Much Togetherness Isn’t Healthy
When you live in such close proximity to the person you’re seeing, it’s easy to spend every waking moment with that person. You’re more likely to spend time by yourself, even in the exciting new stages of a relationship, when there is some physical distance between you both. When your main squeeze is your neighbor, you’ll begin spending excessive amounts of time together. While there is nothing wrong with spending time with one another, it’s easy to get too much of a good thing. The relationship can become co-dependent, or too comfortable, sooner than a relationship where a little distance is involved. One of the most important factors in any relationship is still having your “me time.” Having your own space and your own life allows you to bring more to the relationship.
Reason Three: The Relationship Progresses at a Much Faster Rate
The more time you spend with someone, the faster you get to know them. In a way this can be a good thing, but it also can be “too much too soon.” Romantic relationships work best when you ease into them, slowly learning about one another and pacing the exposure of any quirks, bad habits or strong personality traits. When you have an affair with your neighbor the relationship is bound to develop quickly.
For one thing, you’ll be spending a lot of time in your apartments. True behavior becomes evident in the comfort of one’s home. You’ll learn and see one another’s less desirable traits sooner. The relationship may become too casual because the comfort level is so high. If you’re looking for a relationship that will last, think about the speed at which you want things to progress. Having an affair with your neighbor is probably not the way you want to go.
If you’re considering actually having a real affair with your neighbor (meaning one of you is married or in a serious relationship), don’t. Not only is it completely wrong, the repercussions will be much more serious when other hurt or angry people are involved.
Rachael Weiner: I’m a communications professional for a non-profit, which financially necessitates my status as an apartment dweller. Constantly “on-the-go,” I’ve resided in five different apartments across the United States over the past five years. Roommate issues, budgeting, organizing and handling problem neighbors are my specialty.