Making the Jump from Roommate to Romance

in Roommates on by

So your roommate is funny, thoughtful, attractive and everything you’re looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend. You find yourself fantasizing about him or her and it’s starting to get difficult to pretend like nothing has changed. You’re not the only one to face these kinds of roommate problems, but you’d be wise to consider a few things before you turn cohabitation into a full-fledged relationship.

Think Your Decision Through

Dating a roommate has one of the biggest stigmas attached to it, and there’s a reason for that. You already live with your crush, yet healthy relationships typically begin after a trial period of months or even years of a couple living apart. Why? Because if the relationship doesn’t work out, the breakup isn’t as difficult if you’re not living together. Breaking up with your apartment mate presents a host of problems, not the least of which is that you may have nowhere to live.

Have a Backup Plan

If you’re absolutely sure you’ll regret it if you don’t take this chance and ask out your crush, make a backup plan and tell yourself you’re going to stick with it. Could you easily move elsewhere, even if it’s to move in with friends or family until you can find a new place of your own? Is your name attached to the lease for a certain period of time? Could you afford to pay the rest of your share even if you’ve moved out or would you be able to find a replacement apartment mate for the apartment?

It can be disheartening to think like this before you’ve even confessed your feelings, but it’s better than finding yourself in an impossible situation later on. Remember, you can’t legally kick out your apartment mate just because you break up. It may be up to you to leave the apartment if things get uncomfortable between the two of you.

Search for Hints

Although not as awkward as breaking up as roommates, one of the other greatest roommate problems is telling your crush you have feelings for him or her, being rejected and then continuing to live together. So, make sure you study your crush for hints that your feelings are reciprocated before you confess.

Consider Moving Out

This sounds strange, but if you start dating your roommate, consider moving out, even if things are going well between the two of you. Having your own place to retreat to and recoup is healthy during the early stages of your relationship. There will be no hard feelings if you feel like you need some alone time or you want to sleep in your own room (which can cause problems mere days after you start dating if you live together).

Letting a man or woman go who might have been “the one” or watching your crush bring over dates right in front of you can be something you regret your entire life, but so can hooking up with an apartment mate and ruining a perfectly good working relationship if things go sour. Give your decision to ask out your crush adequate thought before you make the jump and you reduce the risk of disaster!

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