How to Approach a Hot Neighbor

in Neighbors on by

Having a hot neighbor in your apartment complex can make life a little more interesting. On an innocent level reminiscent of those crushes you had on the cutest boy or girl in school, having a hot neighbor can make walking to your car, going to grab your mail or coming to and from work much more fun you never know when you’ll happen to cross paths with him or her. If you want to take it up a level from the silly and innocent gawking to actually approaching the person, here are some things to consider.

Wait for the Right Scenario

While you shouldn’t make too big of a deal out of approaching your hot neighbor (more on that later), you should try to find a time to introduce yourself that will come naturally. If you live in the same building, for instance, and often get home from work at the same time, simply saying hello and introducing yourself in the hallway seems perfectly normal. If you see him or her frequently at the apartment clubhouse, saying hello and asking what building he or she lives in isn’t at all unusual. What would come across a little too forward, if not stalker-ish, is showing up at the person’s door and introducing yourself without any reason. Try to make your paths cross in a not-so-obvious manner.

Be Casual

Remember, you shouldn’t make approaching your hot neighbor out to be too big of a deal in your head or the chances of the encounter being awkward increases. The best way to approach your hot neighbor is to be casual about it. No need to work yourself into a ball of nerves about saying hello. In these situations it’s always best to keep in mind that only YOU know that you think your neighbor is extremely attractive—your neighbor doesn’t know your thoughts.

Playing it casual doesn’t give anything away. Unlike approaching an attractive stranger in the bar, there is less pressure when approaching your neighbor because you already have something in common to talk about—the apartment complex! You could start a conversation about anything, from how long you’ve both lived there to the recent noisy construction outside.

Ask to Borrow Something

It’s the most cliche advice in the book, but asking your hot neighbor for a cup of milk is an easy way to start a conversation. Again, it gets back to approaching your neighbor casually and with purpose. It’ll only look deliberate if you don’t play it off casually. For all your neighbor knows, you really are out of milk. Later, after you really have baked something, you can bring some over for your neighbor as a thank you. He or she will definitely remember you, and it’ll open the door for conversation down the road.

There are other great ways to approach your neighbor, but all are situational. For instance, pets are great conversation starters, so if your neighbor has a dog, by all means break the ice that way! You can also approach your neighbor easily if one of you is new to the building. Welcoming your new neighbor, or asking for some insight to the area, makes for an effective approach.


Rachael Weiner: I’m a communications professional for a non-profit, which financially necessitates my status as an apartment dweller. Constantly “on-the-go,” I’ve resided in five different apartments across the United States over the past five years. Roommate issues, budgeting, organizing and handling problem neighbors are my specialty.

6 Responses to “How to Approach a Hot Neighbor”

  1. June 05, 2010 at 11:01 pm, lactose intolerant said:

    is this serious?…”hey “hot neighbor”, can i have a cup of milk? what? we live in an apartment complex and there are tons of convenient stores nearby that sell milk? oh ok. i guess i’ll just go there. sorry to bother you and look like an idiot by asking you for a cup of milk”…


  2. June 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm, Intolerant of lactose intolerance said:

    For those of us with social skills, it’s a great article. Sugar is a bit more cliche, but is used more in baking, and perhaps easier to share.


  3. June 23, 2010 at 5:30 pm, A person with social skills said:

    I agree with lactose intolerant. Asking to borrow a food item is ridiculously cliche and will simply cause awkwardness for both guys and girls alike.


  4. June 29, 2010 at 8:52 pm, not a cook said:

    ask for a tool like a screw driver or hammer. tell them your putting pictures up/ your sink broke.


  5. July 06, 2010 at 2:24 pm, Baker of Sticky Buns said:

    Also, wouldn’t it be kind of hard to give the sugar back? Once the chemical reactions between ingredients have taken place while baking, it’s an extremely difficult (and expensive) endeavor to get the sugar back into it’s original form. At the very least – the sugar would be really messed up, and the hot neighbor would be very unhappy. Totally not worth it. Just walk to the store.


  6. July 13, 2010 at 12:43 am, UgghhApartmentLife said:

    This is 2010. This article might have worked 20 or 30+ years ago, but depending on where you live, opening your door to an uninvited guest today may not be the wisest thing. What’s wrong with saying, “People must tell you all the time how attractive you are.” A little flattery goes a long way. Chances are the person has already noticed you noticing them, so why insult their intelligence by staging something.

    Keeping it as real as possible shows courage, a trait many women find appealing. As for a woman who is digging a hot dude, let him come to you. He’s not worth having, IMO, if he is endlessly gawking from afar and can’t get up the nerve to at least say hi. A smile and a hi works too.


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