6 Things You Should Never Have in a Man Cave

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There are a few items that completely conflict with the purpose of having a man cave. To help with the redesign, here a few things to exclude from the bachelor pad, or just a private sanctuary devoted to being a man.

1. Flowers

Flowers are high maintenance and expensive. They are not the type of creature that can be left to their own means to take of themselves when time is being spent downing that final boss in the latest video game or sinking that last cup in beer pong. They need to be nourished and cherished, spoken to and shown love. Be it moving out from cohabitation or simply continuing to lead the single life, getting a flower is the closest thing to having a girlfriend without having any of the benefits.

2. Female Singer/Songwriter Albums

It is one thing to secretly enjoy a K.D. Lang tune once in awhile, but it’s another to have it proudly displayed in a compact disc collection used only for nostalgic sake. If the CD’s must be out, although a CD player hasn’t been seen in over five years, keep the Melissa Etheridge album bought back in middle school safely in the drawer.

3. Anything Pink

Blue, orange and green. Maybe red. Keep it to the basics. A man-cave should be about the gadgets—the 50 inch LCD TV, the iMac, the X-Box; not the matching swatches of sheets that have also been painstakingly matched to the wallpaper.

4. Chick Flicks

Maybe you get some kind of satisfaction from watching these now and then. Fine. Maybe, for some reason, you might even let someone in on this secret. Hopefully they’ll understand. However, do not display them in your man cave, and don’t even think of suggesting you and your friends watch one—it will only cause heckles from friends as they crack open their next light beer, trying to find the big game on TV. Keep these DVD’s stowed away under the mattress.

5. Scented Candles

A man cave should never smell of apricots and cucumber melon; it should not smell of cinnamon and spice or anything nice. A man-cave should should smell of nothing. Cheap cologne or saw dust might be acceptable. Maybe even motor oil or grease, but ideally of nothing at all. It should also not smell of rotting food. Keeping your place clean and sanitary isn’t a womanly thing to do, it’s a healthy thing to do.

6. Excessive Pillows

Pillows are a solely functional piece. They should not be strategically placed around a man cave, on couches and beds, only to be moved and stored away when company comes over for fear of having them de-fluffed. Nor should they be left in position to show-off how well they match the love seat and stem wear.

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