When a Registered Sex Offender Lives Near You
February 18th, 2008Remember the good old days, when finding an apartment was as easy as walking up to the landlord and asking if there were any vacancies? Today, apartment hunting is a bit more involved, leaving renters with many things to consider before choosing a place to live. For instance, it’s no longer the noisy neighbor–you know, the one who plays Molly Hatchet CDs until two in the morning who is the big problem. The real concern is the kindly neighbor in Apartment 12, who just happens to be a registered sex offender. In this day and age, the old hippie with the love for southern rock may just turn out to be your favorite neighbor.
Why are registered sex offenders allowed to live in the same apartment complexes where families with children reside? The primary reason is that in many states, the law declares that landlords cannot discriminate. In California and many other states, the law prohibits landlords from denying an apartment to someone who is listed on the online sex offender database. If a resident is listed on the Megan’s Law list of registered sex offenders, the other residents in the building may never even know and the landlord is helpless to do anything. The law places landlords in a precarious position, and as one California landlord stated, “The government is quick to tell us that we can’t deny tenancy, but if the sex offender strikes again on the premises, the landlords are often considered legally liable.”
So, if you find out there is a registered sex offender living in your apartment complex, what should you do? Should you move out? Should you warn others? How can you and your family feel safe?
First, Review the Statistics
Here are some common beliefs about registered sex offenders followed by the facts.
Common Belief: Sex offenders strike at a whim and anyone is a potential victim.
Fact: The vast majority of sexual crimes are conducted by a family member or someone close to the victim’s family. This is the case for crimes against both children and adults. In adult sex crime cases, 76 percent of victims are assaulted by current or former husbands, dates, or live-in partners. In the cases involving children, 60 percent of boys and 80 percent of girls are victimized by family members or family friends. The Megan’s Law website has recently increased these numbers to nearly 90 percent.
Common Belief: The majority of sex offenders are in jail.
Fact: With only 12 percent of rapes and sex crimes are ever reported, the truth is that there are more sex offenders on the street than in our prisons.
Common Belief: Convicted sex offenders will always commit another sex crime.
Fact: Once a sex offender is arrested, their recidivism rate is diminished. Child molesters, once released from prison, commit another sex crime 13 percent of the time. They will more likely commit a different, non-sex related crime (37 percent). Similarly, rapists had a 19 percent recidivism rate against a 47 percent conviction rate for non-sex related crimes.
Common Belief: Sex crimes are happening more and more often.
Fact: Although they are much more publicized than ever before, the actual number of sex crimes has decreased slightly over the last decade.
Common Belief: Convicted sex offenders are not treatable.
Fact: Registered sex offenders who partake in cognitive-behavioral treatment and relapse prevention are less likely to re-offend than those who are not registered.
While these facts may not ease the anxiety around living near a registered sex offender, the information may help clarify some common concerns. Look for more facts about registered sex offenders at CSOM.org (Center for Sex Offender Management).
Also, be sure to visit websites like FamilyWatchDog.us for information about registered sex offenders living in your area (information varies by state). For some states, the website provides a photo of the registered sex offender, crime committed, home and work addresses, and a physical description. ApartmentRatings.com shows the number of registered sex offenders who live near the apartments listed on the website.
Next, Team Up with Your Neighbors and the Manager
When you discover that there is a registered sex offender living in or near your apartment complex, there are a number of things you can do to help protect your children and/or yourself.
Get together with your neighbors and assemble a neighborhood watch program to look out for each other; exchange phone numbers and email addresses so that you have a way to keep in touch outside of knocking on everyone’s door. Coordinate play dates for the children who live in the apartment community or building so that they are never out an adult’s sight. Plan monthly meetings where everyone can get together to discuss concerns.
Remember to include the landlord or property manager to give him/her an idea of how living with a registered sex offender nearby affects their tenants. Perhaps the group can even ask for a part-time security guard at night to be available to walk a single woman to her door if she requests it. If the landlord doesn’t want to pay for a security guard, see if one of the tenants can perform the job for a cut in their rent. The old African proverb made popular by Hillary Rodham Clinton, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is more relevant than ever.
Technology can help you keep track of your children, which is especially helpful if you work and the kids are on their own after school. Sprint and Nextel offer cell phones with GPS technology built right into them so all you have to do is look to your cell phone for the location of your child. In addition, FamilyWatchdog has teamed up with Sprint mobile to create FamilyWatchdog Mobile. You can view FamilyWatchdog’s famous sex offender map right from your cell phone. Plus, with Sprint’s Family Locator service, you can get daily notifications on your child’s whereabouts at certain times of the day, such as after school or after dinner. FamilyWatchdog Mobile is free, but data rates apply. Sprint Family Locator costs approximately $9.99 per month in addition to your monthly service charges.
Old-fashioned means of protection work, too. Kathy S., of Trenton, NJ, came up with a simple way to help keep her daughter safe. Kathy purchased a good quality whistle and connected it to a chain for her daughter to wear around her neck. To make it fun and fashionable to wear, she and her daughter made a craft project out of it and added color and beads to the whistle. Kathy says, “It’s a peace of mind for me to know that Melissa has the whistle on her whenever she’s out and if she ever needs help, it’s there for her.”
While a cell phone or a whistle can certainly help, there’s no substitute for education. Make sure that your children know to call 911 in the event of an emergency. Have your child’s name and address somewhere on their clothing at all times. Designate a time for your child to come home or to check in. Perhaps most important, build and maintain open and honest lines of communication with your children, so they will feel comfortable telling you if something happened to them or to one of their friends.
Know the Law in Your State
It is important to note that laws regarding registered sex offenders vary by state–so make sure you know how it works in your state. In Wisconsin, landlords cannot discriminate against convicted felons, but in other states like Connecticut, Florida and Maine, the law says differently. In New Jersey, registered sex offenders are often given free or discounted rooms at local motels once they are released from prison, but in Michigan, if a convicted sex offender doesn’t have a home, she or he will often remain behind bars rather than be released on the streets.
In Massachusetts, renters are not allowed to use the fact that there is a registered sex offender living in their complex as a reason to break their lease. In virtually all states, landlords can perform criminal record checks, but many of them cannot discriminate. It can leave law-abiding citizens feeling as if we’re the only ones who are giving up our rights.
One of the problems the United States is currently facing is the number of homeless registered sex offenders is on the rise. Homeless sex offenders are impossible for police to keep tabs on, and that makes them even more dangerous. While some states like Illinois make their homeless sex offenders check in on a weekly basis, a homeless sex offender is more likely to not be registered and therefore harder to track.
However you approach it, dealing with this issue is not easy. Have you had any experience with a sex offender living in your apartment community? We’d love to hear some of your advice in the forum.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I am a registered sex offender. I found your article fascinating because you’ve pretty much hit all the valid points, especially with regard to recidivism, reasons that sex offenders commit their offenses, and who the registered sex offenders may be. I’ve decided to add a novel idea to the mix.
In most cases, when people think of registered sex offender, they think of someone that is Charles Manson or John Wayne Gayce in personality, when in reality most RSO’s are usually more timid and less likely to be involved with society. In fact, the bigger problem with sex offenders are not that they are prone to recidivism, but that shutting them out completely actually adds to that chance.
So the answer is obvious: Invite the registered sex offender to a neighborhood watch meeting. Note that I didn’t say he should join that night, nor did I say he should be considered someone you can trust your kids, or even with your adult friends. In fact, we aren’t asking that you do this out of deference to him.
Instead, this is an opportunity to actually defuse the fear that many people have. That fear generally works AGAINST families, not help them cope with potential dangers. And of course, certainly I don’t advocate this for ALL RSO’s.
There are some points about this that should be discussed.
1. Consider the fact that some people may have shut out any rational thought when it comes to RSO’s, and may not want to attend the watch meeting if the RSO shows up. This is due to an inborn bias that cannot readily be overcome, and frankly is not something that I can help advise. However, note that it is BECAUSE of this bias that such registries occur in the first place. (Imagine the man to be a burglar, a carjacker, or a child ABUSER, not sex offender. Realistically compare offenses in that manner).
2. While not necessary, it would be wise to have a community law enforcement rep at the meeting, not so much for actual safety, but peace of mind by the membership.
3. When you invite the RSO, let him say a few words to the general meeting. Don’t interrogate him on his crime, as he has already been tried, sentenced, and punished for it; ostensibly, he’s either being rehabilitated (on parole, therefore still under jurisdiction of the court), or post correctional with just a requirement to register. To interrogate him would not be reassuring to the questioner, and frankly is not productive to your goal, which is community safety.
4. Obviously, he’s not looking for friends at this time. But if he passes muster at the first meeting, invite him on a regular basis. Over time, his demeanor and personality will overcome your natural desire to judge him as an offender. In fact, he may be at a point where you can consider him to potentially join the group as a participating member. Of course, such membership should only be offered with certain limitations. You can refer to your law enforcement liaison representative for guidelines.
5. Finally, I’m not saying that anyone should ever invite the offender into their life as one would any other non-RSO neighbor. But, with everything else in life, a person’s intuition should always be highly regarded, and as time progresses, you will most probably see that the RSO is not really the devil that society has him to be…
…But there are exceptions. Those exceptions are very rare, and frankly are more likely to evolve from non-RSO’s than from RSO’s. And certainly, these people aren’t going to let a listing on the Internet Registry, or exclusion from society, affect their own offending personalities. THOSE people represent the <8% of all offenders who need to be segregated from society, not released and camouflaged in a registry amidst many others who can be treated and, in fact, will never offend again.
I hope this helped, even a little.
March 21st, 2008 at 11:38 pm
lol wut u do?
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:06 am
being a victim of a sex offender i think you are crazy. the hell i endured as a child has haunted my entire life. i really don’t want to live anywhere near a sex offender or have any dealing with one. have a meeting and invite you you said? why not just give you our children so as to make it easier for you. rehabilitation my ass. my offender is a repeat offender and until his death my life was lived in fear. get to know an SO or RSO how dare you even consider thinking that would be smart as not to shut them out and to make the offender comfortable. since the government said no discrimination as to living the environment and communities why not have areas for the so called rehabilitated offender were they can live among each other and not the decent people who follow the rule and laws that govern us.as a victim i feel discriminated against. who’s looking out for my interest were my safety and that of the other potential victims are concerned. what about our rights as decent human beings. for the record please feed that bs to someone else “he’s not looking for friends at this time” you are right he’s looking for his next victim and any body who believes this load of crap will regret it when they feel the rage after one of them or their children have been assaulted. you think about that! to who ever wrote those stats you are wrong because every 3.5 seconds someone somewhere is being assaulted sexualy and the stats don’t tell you about the unreported assaults i know the barely want to tell us about the reported assaults. so as i rap this up may god have mercy on anyone who thinks assaulting anyone sexually is normal and may god bless all the victims who live with this scar on their lives and also those who did not survive their attackers.
March 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 am
I’d just like to add a comment about the stigma around RSOs as well — it really is ridiculous. You can be slapped with that life-ruining title for almost anything these days — a friend of mine just went to jail for 3-4 years and was forced to be a RSO just because he had some photos sent to him on a corrupt-for-3-years hard drive. A bit extreme, I might say, especially seeing as he didn’t DO anything.
Anyway, the comment above is perfect. Exercise some form of caution, but also realize these RSOs are people too who may just have gotten screwed by the overreacting government and general populace.
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
The way that the law is expanding the definition of “sex offender”, even a girl that showed her boobs at Mardi Gras in view of some small kids, can be a sex offender too. Yeah that would be real frightening to have around the ole apartment complex.
I always wonder what a RsO has done. I wonder if he isn’t one of those poor souls who was 18 and his girlfriend was 15. The law is stupid the way they deal with this stuff.
rc
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I have worked with paroled Registered S.O. via a mandatory program. What type of S. O. are you dealing with? A Rapist? A child Molester? or a Pedophile?
1. Did the rapist just rape his girlfriend or did he have other victims?
Someone convicted of raping his girlfriend could be the result of a parents anger. Maybe the girl was willing but she was underage. If this was the case, he probably won’t do that again.
2. Is he a Child Molester? Sure, he may have gotten caught because he molested a child in his family, but there are probably many more victims that haven’t come forward.
Child Molesters can still have physical & sexual relationships with adults. They see the victim as a “thing”…not a human being. That is why they can do what they do, over and over again.
3. Is he a Pedophile? Pedophiles can not have relations with adults. They can not stop being sexually attracted to children.
Let me put it to you this way.
If a law were passed tomorrow stating that you could only be attracted to the same sex, would that be enough to make you truly attracted to the same sex? NO!
It is the same with Pedophiles.
There is no cure, there are no laws to stop them.
Bottom line is this, are you willing to gamble with your child’s life? With their innocence?
I am not.
May 19th, 2008 at 3:49 am
I am also the victim of molestation and I say ditto to the entry from “Being a victim of sex” To the sex offender that posted that ridiculous post you need to be locked up. To a victim it sounds like a ploy to misinform people so they’ll let their guard down so you can molest more children.
Some people are likely to fall for your B.S. and I guarantee anyone that thought your post was reasonable was never a victim of a sex offender.
The only time any community or program should make a sex offender feel accepted and welcome socially is when that community or program has discovered a way to lynch your ass without getting caught! You do not deserve to walk amongst society.
If you claim you’re rehabilitated perhaps you are, yay for you but you should be locked up just the same.
The only thing “rehabilitated” in regards to sex offenders means to me is that you are a monster that “possibly” may not attack again, however I don’t think you deserve a chance nor should society give you the opportunity to prove it.
Not at the risk of a child’s innocence.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Dear Jennifer Lai,
Hello my name is Scott Bailey and I am totally deaf person. I am very stressful and anxiety about find a housing and also I am sex offender on level 3. where am I lived in Minneaoplis, MInn . I just got released from prison from 3 weeks ago and I am lived in 180 degree halfway house on 236 clifton ave minneaoplis, minn 55409. My case manager name is Jake at 612-813-5006 and my parole officer name is Kay Sailer her cellphone number is 651-775-1630.. Right now I am on S.S.I. social secuirty income per monthly.. I am very frustate myself to hard to find a housing and I am trying to looking for an apartment and They turn me down and not accept becuase of Level 3… I am scare that if I don’t find a place yet. so I am staying at the halfway house for 60 days.. as poosible Kay Sailer can let me for another 60 days more… so PLEASE help me to solve the issues.. I feels that I am open honestly with you that I am feels like ” I don’t know what do I can do??? I am appericates if you willing share with my informations and I will be happy to .. I really needs your support me and I am going to sex offender treatment program very soon what I really do wants to change my life and good goals NO MORE offense!! I am totally agreed with your story about sex offender who lived in an apartment and they are scared so I don’t blame on them so protect thier childrens so please sent me e mail back alright … thank you!!
Sincereley,
Scott Bailry
July 20th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
i read this blog and i know many rape victims infact more then half the women iknow are rape victims this site dosent give all the stastics, fact is registered sex offender is a vague word i mean its not the guy who had a relationaship with a 16 year old when he was 23 that were scared of is it? or the guy who groped the chick in the bar when he was drunk and got sexual battery? no its the rapists and other very similiar crimes that bother us and it should! fact is these people did commit a rape crime now rapes not like murder its not a wrong place wrong time i was scared i pulled the trigger its a brutal long crime and its a form of cruel and unsuaul torture in most countrys another statstic this website dosent list is the fact most rapes are commited by repeated offenders now some of the advice that the posters on this site have made like “I am a registered sex” is probly an extremly bad idea first of all my advice is dont put the guy on a pedastool hes not a superioly trained person who can unlock doors with magic
take simple precautions first step 1 put up a no trespassing sign if u can especialy if ur in a rented hosue ect… step 2 consider getting a dog its still the best form of security there is. step 3 educate ur kids and what to do if this man aproaches them also another note registered sex offenders are more scared of you then you are of them cuz if they do one single pervy thing its back to prison right now there on the frying pan and wether or not they go back into the fire IS UP TO YOU not them their word is worth horse shit.
now self defense if you have the trespassing in sign and he comes onto your property in most states you have the right to blow his head off again neighborhood watch is a good idea restraining orders are also a good idea especialy if he starts following around family members or takes pictures of your house another thing ARM YOU FAMILY im not saying go down to a shop and buy gun no dont do that but theres other things you can do knives for one dont need permits but a better idea is a stun gun if he comes near you mace him or stun him i mean wuts he gonna say officer im a registered sex offender and this young woman maced me when i approached her threateningly?
good luck with that one. second of all people hate this asshole almost everyone does on the high list of likable people rapist is probly below terrorist fact is this guys freedom deepends on your patience if he goes on your property and you report him hes up shit creek without a paddle
keep a camera with you to or a audio device for evidence i know alot of this is overboared but this is good danm advice. overall with education precaution and cordination a registered sex offender ceases to become a danger and become a pest and thats a much less scary idea n im sure theres good recovered rapists out there hell im sure one or two them has really turned over a new leaf my god i and you should feel horrible for considering these drastic measures the asnwer to that is no
fact is rape is like i said before not a spure of the moment crime its not over in a second if this person wanted to be trusted and treated like a decent human being well he shoulda tought of that before he went around raping women and children i mean if i was car dealership owner i would not want some one who has commited grand theft auto working my shop if i was a bank manager i wouldnt hire a robber and if i was a father or a husband i would not alow a rapist anywere near my danm family its common sense honestly send these bastards back to prision if not for just stalking or harrasing your family then for wut they did to the first victim theres some shit you dont just wash off your hands in a cell thats one of them im sorry for my bad grammer i typed this in a hurry
these people are scum of the earth now not all of them like i said RSO is a vague word but the rapists and forced sodomy and the child molestors are sick pricks and i dont care how much therapy the state put into it i will not base my familys safety on a rapists ethics and whyms basicly if they come near your family dont freak out just calmly say get away from me or i will call the police and report you for harrasment n you know wut if he dosent do it that is harrasment n back to jail he goes.
its really that easy bottom line dont be scared dont be intimidiated fear is how most of the sick pricks commited the crime in the first place.
July 24th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Most apartment complexes usually will evict or move the sex offender. So, I don’t believe that for one moment that apartment complexes would even take them. Usually the media finds out about and it makes the complex look bad. I don’t feel sorry one bit for these sex offenders. It was their behavior that put them in the situation that they are today. What they did to their victims caused alot more damage and for them there is no parole.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Sigh….moron
August 15th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
You know sex offenders can be really messed up in the head. In no shape form or fashion is it ok for a 40 year old to touch a 10 year old. It’s even more messed up when they do it repeatedly. Those are the men and women who should be kept under constant watch. But what happens when you get a 17 year old and a 13 year old who lies about her age? Should he be locked away with the 40 year old. Well I’m that 17 year old and I don’t think so. I’m a registered sex offender in illinois. when I was 17 I got caught at work with a girl who was 13. I did’nt force her, threaten her or even promise her anything. I just a horny teenager who made a stupid choice. Now at 23 I have a two year old daughter that I have to protct, and I have to do it without the help of police. You think protecting your kids or finding somewhere to live is hard try living with this burden. I can’t hope to get a fair trial in custody court, police have actually denied me thier assisstance when I needed help, and getting a job is impossible. I’m at a point now where I’m losing things to care about and live for. A crime free man with nothing to lose is a nightmare in any crime so what will you do when you get a bunch a real pedophiles and rapist together who have nothing to lose? They have no money, no family, no friends, and half can’t get laid legally if they wanted to. You think getting robbed and raped is bad add being killed cause jail is the place for them anyway and they don’t want you as a witness. Keep in mind if this day comes I have to protect my kids with little or no help from police. People you put everyone in that same rso catagory and hate them all equally and thats wrong even the victims of these crimes can be a bit discriminatory. think about it people.
September 18th, 2008 at 11:53 am
My fiancee is now 26. We met while I was already pregnant and practically penniless. He overlooked that, and is the best father I could ever wish for. When he was 17 he had a 15 year old girlfriend. He has a third degree sex crime feloney. We cannot find an apartment in our price range near his job because of it. Soon my son and I will have to go to a shelter without his father and my soon to be husband. And people say these laws are fair.
November 1st, 2008 at 8:41 pm
idiot
December 15th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
hey rapist in illinois. HaHa! ur life sucks because you were such an idiot! ur a loser, i hope u rot, criminal scum!
December 25th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
dats dumn but u should have known that she was a little gurl and now dats your fought and you need to watch out who you mess with but that’s a hard burden to live with and i hope one day that you can get a job and that is horrible you should have never been locked up the gurl parents or she should have been locked up because she should have never lied to you in the first place and she knew that you were to old for her and you should have just been watching out for that anywaybut yeah that’s all merry christmas
January 15th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
No not true, no self respecting court is going to label a hot chick a sex offender for flashing her boobs unless shes one of those nutty schoolteachers. If someone carries the title sex offender, they’ve done something bad to deserve it albeit some are much worse than others.
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Wow! what started as a semi-sensible article and a well reasoned response has degenerated into a lot of knee-jerk, moronic responses.
I am a sex offender. I messed up my life, I did my time and have tried to get on with my life. Unfortunately, TV and politicians have jumped on the “child molester” bandwagon and stirred up the public’s fears.
The first respondent to this article had it right when he said that ostracizing RSO’s does nothing the help lessen the recidivism rate. In fact, the recidivism rate for RSO’s is less than that of non-sex offenders.
Doubtful? This is quoted from a November 16, 2003 U.S. Department of Justice report:
” Sex offenders were less likely than non-sex offenders to be rearrested for any offense –– 43 percent of sex offenders versus 68 percent of non-sex offenders”
Now, the next part of the quote is what the media and politicians love to quote:
“But sex offenders were about four times more likely than non-sex offenders to be arrested for another sex crime after their discharge from prison”
What that is really saying is that if a criminal is going to commit another offense then its probably going to be what they were originally arrested for. In fact, the drug dealer or cat burglar is more likely to re-offend than the RSO.
That said, I can also understand peoples fear. I have children and, knowing the dangers out in the world, am very protective of them.
With all the restrictions that are imposed on me, I am forced to live on the edges of society, spend my days associating with “shady” characters and try to keep my self-respect afloat. It is not always easy but every day is a victory.
You want to see an offender re-offend? Push them away, make them lonely and depressed. The demons we all battle each day get stronger the more isolated we feel, their voices louder in the silence.
Do I think we should be welcomed with open arms and welcoming smiles? No, I’m no longer that delusional. All I ask is that we’re given the same chance other felons are given, that the facts are looked at in realistic terms and that hysteria is given a rest.
“Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time” is an adage I heard many times during my incarceration and probation. The fact of the matter is that I have done my time, I’ve done more than my time, new restrictions imposed and the length of registration extended. All in the name of quelling the fears of society.
Perhaps it is time for society to accept that I’ve done all that they’ve asked of me and more and am moving on with my life
April 5th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
The apartment complex I live in lied and said no sex offenders live here yet recently I found two that live here ..is this breach of contract?
April 18th, 2009 at 6:39 am
i am a rdo and i had a hard time when i first got out, but i was told about this job, so i went and did an application and he asked why there was so much time from my last job and i told them i commited a sex crime and he hired me. it changed my life. the problem i have is i need treatment and it cost more than my means. can somebody tell me where in oklhoma city i can go for treatment /
June 14th, 2009 at 8:55 am
I was placed on the SOR list because i was at a party and this girl had been agressive most of the night . long story short her actions and my lack of better judgement i ended up with a CSC 2nd and it has been 15 years since . As i have come to find out she has done this same exact thing to 3 other fellows . I feel that there should be a case by case evaluation after a certain time frame .depending on the specifics in the case some should be able to get off the list after say 5 or ten years , instead of this blanket law . I agree rapists and child molesters are in the wrong and should be there for their crimes . the average joe that gets hooked up with a girl that misrepresents her age for kicks and then she turns it around on him really can really foul things up . I did 90 days on a tether and completed 3 yrs probation and total cost was around 5 grand . and i have to quarterly register until 2017 . wow talk about hindsight being 20/20 .