When a Registered Sex Offender Lives Near You

February 18th, 2008 by

Remember the good old days, when finding an apartment was as easy as walking up to the landlord and asking if there were any vacancies? Today, apartment hunting is a bit more involved, leaving renters with many things to consider before choosing a place to live. For instance, it’s no longer the noisy neighbor–you know, the one who plays Molly Hatchet CDs until two in the morning who is the big problem. The real concern is the kindly neighbor in Apartment 12, who just happens to be a registered sex offender. In this day and age, the old hippie with the love for southern rock may just turn out to be your favorite neighbor.

Why are registered sex offenders allowed to live in the same apartment complexes where families with children reside? The primary reason is that in many states, the law declares that landlords cannot discriminate. In California and many other states, the law prohibits landlords from denying an apartment to someone who is listed on the online sex offender database. If a resident is listed on the Megan’s Law list of registered sex offenders, the other residents in the building may never even know and the landlord is helpless to do anything. The law places landlords in a precarious position, and as one California landlord stated, “The government is quick to tell us that we can’t deny tenancy, but if the sex offender strikes again on the premises, the landlords are often considered legally liable.”

So, if you find out there is a registered sex offender living in your apartment complex, what should you do? Should you move out? Should you warn others? How can you and your family feel safe?

First, Review the Statistics

Here are some common beliefs about registered sex offenders followed by the facts.

Common Belief: Sex offenders strike at a whim and anyone is a potential victim.
Fact: The vast majority of sexual crimes are conducted by a family member or someone close to the victim’s family. This is the case for crimes against both children and adults. In adult sex crime cases, 76 percent of victims are assaulted by current or former husbands, dates, or live-in partners. In the cases involving children, 60 percent of boys and 80 percent of girls are victimized by family members or family friends. The Megan’s Law website has recently increased these numbers to nearly 90 percent.

Common Belief: The majority of sex offenders are in jail.
Fact: With only 12 percent of rapes and sex crimes are ever reported, the truth is that there are more sex offenders on the street than in our prisons.

Common Belief: Convicted sex offenders will always commit another sex crime.
Fact: Once a sex offender is arrested, their recidivism rate is diminished. Child molesters, once released from prison, commit another sex crime 13 percent of the time. They will more likely commit a different, non-sex related crime (37 percent). Similarly, rapists had a 19 percent recidivism rate against a 47 percent conviction rate for non-sex related crimes.

Common Belief: Sex crimes are happening more and more often.
Fact: Although they are much more publicized than ever before, the actual number of sex crimes has decreased slightly over the last decade.

Common Belief: Convicted sex offenders are not treatable.
Fact: Registered sex offenders who partake in cognitive-behavioral treatment and relapse prevention are less likely to re-offend than those who are not registered.

While these facts may not ease the anxiety around living near a registered sex offender, the information may help clarify some common concerns. Look for more facts about registered sex offenders at CSOM.org (Center for Sex Offender Management).

Also, be sure to visit websites like FamilyWatchDog.us for information about registered sex offenders living in your area (information varies by state). For some states, the website provides a photo of the registered sex offender, crime committed, home and work addresses, and a physical description. ApartmentRatings.com shows the number of registered sex offenders who live near the apartments listed on the website.

Next, Team Up with Your Neighbors and the Manager
When you discover that there is a registered sex offender living in or near your apartment complex, there are a number of things you can do to help protect your children and/or yourself.

Get together with your neighbors and assemble a neighborhood watch program to look out for each other; exchange phone numbers and email addresses so that you have a way to keep in touch outside of knocking on everyone’s door. Coordinate play dates for the children who live in the apartment community or building so that they are never out an adult’s sight. Plan monthly meetings where everyone can get together to discuss concerns.

Remember to include the landlord or property manager to give him/her an idea of how living with a registered sex offender nearby affects their tenants. Perhaps the group can even ask for a part-time security guard at night to be available to walk a single woman to her door if she requests it. If the landlord doesn’t want to pay for a security guard, see if one of the tenants can perform the job for a cut in their rent. The old African proverb made popular by Hillary Rodham Clinton, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is more relevant than ever.

Technology can help you keep track of your children, which is especially helpful if you work and the kids are on their own after school. Sprint and Nextel offer cell phones with GPS technology built right into them so all you have to do is look to your cell phone for the location of your child. In addition, FamilyWatchdog has teamed up with Sprint mobile to create FamilyWatchdog Mobile. You can view FamilyWatchdog’s famous sex offender map right from your cell phone. Plus, with Sprint’s Family Locator service, you can get daily notifications on your child’s whereabouts at certain times of the day, such as after school or after dinner. FamilyWatchdog Mobile is free, but data rates apply. Sprint Family Locator costs approximately $9.99 per month in addition to your monthly service charges.

Old-fashioned means of protection work, too. Kathy S., of Trenton, NJ, came up with a simple way to help keep her daughter safe. Kathy purchased a good quality whistle and connected it to a chain for her daughter to wear around her neck. To make it fun and fashionable to wear, she and her daughter made a craft project out of it and added color and beads to the whistle. Kathy says, “It’s a peace of mind for me to know that Melissa has the whistle on her whenever she’s out and if she ever needs help, it’s there for her.”

While a cell phone or a whistle can certainly help, there’s no substitute for education. Make sure that your children know to call 911 in the event of an emergency. Have your child’s name and address somewhere on their clothing at all times. Designate a time for your child to come home or to check in. Perhaps most important, build and maintain open and honest lines of communication with your children, so they will feel comfortable telling you if something happened to them or to one of their friends.

Know the Law in Your State
It is important to note that laws regarding registered sex offenders vary by state–so make sure you know how it works in your state. In Wisconsin, landlords cannot discriminate against convicted felons, but in other states like Connecticut, Florida and Maine, the law says differently. In New Jersey, registered sex offenders are often given free or discounted rooms at local motels once they are released from prison, but in Michigan, if a convicted sex offender doesn’t have a home, she or he will often remain behind bars rather than be released on the streets.

In Massachusetts, renters are not allowed to use the fact that there is a registered sex offender living in their complex as a reason to break their lease. In virtually all states, landlords can perform criminal record checks, but many of them cannot discriminate. It can leave law-abiding citizens feeling as if we’re the only ones who are giving up our rights.

One of the problems the United States is currently facing is the number of homeless registered sex offenders is on the rise. Homeless sex offenders are impossible for police to keep tabs on, and that makes them even more dangerous. While some states like Illinois make their homeless sex offenders check in on a weekly basis, a homeless sex offender is more likely to not be registered and therefore harder to track.

However you approach it, dealing with this issue is not easy. Have you had any experience with a sex offender living in your apartment community? We’d love to hear some of your advice in the forum.

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40 Responses to “When a Registered Sex Offender Lives Near You”

  1. Guest Says:

    I am a registered sex offender. I found your article fascinating because you’ve pretty much hit all the valid points, especially with regard to recidivism, reasons that sex offenders commit their offenses, and who the registered sex offenders may be. I’ve decided to add a novel idea to the mix.

    In most cases, when people think of registered sex offender, they think of someone that is Charles Manson or John Wayne Gayce in personality, when in reality most RSO’s are usually more timid and less likely to be involved with society. In fact, the bigger problem with sex offenders are not that they are prone to recidivism, but that shutting them out completely actually adds to that chance.

    So the answer is obvious: Invite the registered sex offender to a neighborhood watch meeting. Note that I didn’t say he should join that night, nor did I say he should be considered someone you can trust your kids, or even with your adult friends. In fact, we aren’t asking that you do this out of deference to him.

    Instead, this is an opportunity to actually defuse the fear that many people have. That fear generally works AGAINST families, not help them cope with potential dangers. And of course, certainly I don’t advocate this for ALL RSO’s.

    There are some points about this that should be discussed.

    1. Consider the fact that some people may have shut out any rational thought when it comes to RSO’s, and may not want to attend the watch meeting if the RSO shows up. This is due to an inborn bias that cannot readily be overcome, and frankly is not something that I can help advise. However, note that it is BECAUSE of this bias that such registries occur in the first place. (Imagine the man to be a burglar, a carjacker, or a child ABUSER, not sex offender. Realistically compare offenses in that manner).

    2. While not necessary, it would be wise to have a community law enforcement rep at the meeting, not so much for actual safety, but peace of mind by the membership.

    3. When you invite the RSO, let him say a few words to the general meeting. Don’t interrogate him on his crime, as he has already been tried, sentenced, and punished for it; ostensibly, he’s either being rehabilitated (on parole, therefore still under jurisdiction of the court), or post correctional with just a requirement to register. To interrogate him would not be reassuring to the questioner, and frankly is not productive to your goal, which is community safety.

    4. Obviously, he’s not looking for friends at this time. But if he passes muster at the first meeting, invite him on a regular basis. Over time, his demeanor and personality will overcome your natural desire to judge him as an offender. In fact, he may be at a point where you can consider him to potentially join the group as a participating member. Of course, such membership should only be offered with certain limitations. You can refer to your law enforcement liaison representative for guidelines.

    5. Finally, I’m not saying that anyone should ever invite the offender into their life as one would any other non-RSO neighbor. But, with everything else in life, a person’s intuition should always be highly regarded, and as time progresses, you will most probably see that the RSO is not really the devil that society has him to be…

    …But there are exceptions. Those exceptions are very rare, and frankly are more likely to evolve from non-RSO’s than from RSO’s. And certainly, these people aren’t going to let a listing on the Internet Registry, or exclusion from society, affect their own offending personalities. THOSE people represent the <8% of all offenders who need to be segregated from society, not released and camouflaged in a registry amidst many others who can be treated and, in fact, will never offend again.

    I hope this helped, even a little.

  2. Guest Says:

    lol wut u do?

  3. Guest Says:

    being a victim of a sex offender i think you are crazy. the hell i endured as a child has haunted my entire life. i really don’t want to live anywhere near a sex offender or have any dealing with one. have a meeting and invite you you said? why not just give you our children so as to make it easier for you. rehabilitation my ass. my offender is a repeat offender and until his death my life was lived in fear. get to know an SO or RSO how dare you even consider thinking that would be smart as not to shut them out and to make the offender comfortable. since the government said no discrimination as to living the environment and communities why not have areas for the so called rehabilitated offender were they can live among each other and not the decent people who follow the rule and laws that govern us.as a victim i feel discriminated against. who’s looking out for my interest were my safety and that of the other potential victims are concerned. what about our rights as decent human beings. for the record please feed that bs to someone else “he’s not looking for friends at this time” you are right he’s looking for his next victim and any body who believes this load of crap will regret it when they feel the rage after one of them or their children have been assaulted. you think about that! to who ever wrote those stats you are wrong because every 3.5 seconds someone somewhere is being assaulted sexualy and the stats don’t tell you about the unreported assaults i know the barely want to tell us about the reported assaults. so as i rap this up may god have mercy on anyone who thinks assaulting anyone sexually is normal and may god bless all the victims who live with this scar on their lives and also those who did not survive their attackers.

  4. Guest Says:

    I’d just like to add a comment about the stigma around RSOs as well — it really is ridiculous. You can be slapped with that life-ruining title for almost anything these days — a friend of mine just went to jail for 3-4 years and was forced to be a RSO just because he had some photos sent to him on a corrupt-for-3-years hard drive. A bit extreme, I might say, especially seeing as he didn’t DO anything.

    Anyway, the comment above is perfect. Exercise some form of caution, but also realize these RSOs are people too who may just have gotten screwed by the overreacting government and general populace.

  5. Guest Says:

    The way that the law is expanding the definition of “sex offender”, even a girl that showed her boobs at Mardi Gras in view of some small kids, can be a sex offender too. Yeah that would be real frightening to have around the ole apartment complex.

    I always wonder what a RsO has done. I wonder if he isn’t one of those poor souls who was 18 and his girlfriend was 15. The law is stupid the way they deal with this stuff.

    rc

  6. Guest Says:

    I have worked with paroled Registered S.O. via a mandatory program. What type of S. O. are you dealing with? A Rapist? A child Molester? or a Pedophile?

    1. Did the rapist just rape his girlfriend or did he have other victims?

    Someone convicted of raping his girlfriend could be the result of a parents anger. Maybe the girl was willing but she was underage. If this was the case, he probably won’t do that again.

    2. Is he a Child Molester? Sure, he may have gotten caught because he molested a child in his family, but there are probably many more victims that haven’t come forward.

    Child Molesters can still have physical & sexual relationships with adults. They see the victim as a “thing”…not a human being. That is why they can do what they do, over and over again.

    3. Is he a Pedophile? Pedophiles can not have relations with adults. They can not stop being sexually attracted to children.

    Let me put it to you this way.

    If a law were passed tomorrow stating that you could only be attracted to the same sex, would that be enough to make you truly attracted to the same sex? NO!

    It is the same with Pedophiles.

    There is no cure, there are no laws to stop them.

    Bottom line is this, are you willing to gamble with your child’s life? With their innocence?

    I am not.

  7. Guest Says:

    I am also the victim of molestation and I say ditto to the entry from “Being a victim of sex” To the sex offender that posted that ridiculous post you need to be locked up. To a victim it sounds like a ploy to misinform people so they’ll let their guard down so you can molest more children.

    Some people are likely to fall for your B.S. and I guarantee anyone that thought your post was reasonable was never a victim of a sex offender.

    The only time any community or program should make a sex offender feel accepted and welcome socially is when that community or program has discovered a way to lynch your ass without getting caught! You do not deserve to walk amongst society.

    If you claim you’re rehabilitated perhaps you are, yay for you but you should be locked up just the same.

    The only thing “rehabilitated” in regards to sex offenders means to me is that you are a monster that “possibly” may not attack again, however I don’t think you deserve a chance nor should society give you the opportunity to prove it.
    Not at the risk of a child’s innocence.

  8. Guest Says:

    Dear Jennifer Lai,

    Hello my name is Scott Bailey and I am totally deaf person. I am very stressful and anxiety about find a housing and also I am sex offender on level 3. where am I lived in Minneaoplis, MInn . I just got released from prison from 3 weeks ago and I am lived in 180 degree halfway house on 236 clifton ave minneaoplis, minn 55409. My case manager name is Jake at 612-813-5006 and my parole officer name is Kay Sailer her cellphone number is 651-775-1630.. Right now I am on S.S.I. social secuirty income per monthly.. I am very frustate myself to hard to find a housing and I am trying to looking for an apartment and They turn me down and not accept becuase of Level 3… I am scare that if I don’t find a place yet. so I am staying at the halfway house for 60 days.. as poosible Kay Sailer can let me for another 60 days more… so PLEASE help me to solve the issues.. I feels that I am open honestly with you that I am feels like ” I don’t know what do I can do??? I am appericates if you willing share with my informations and I will be happy to .. I really needs your support me and I am going to sex offender treatment program very soon what I really do wants to change my life and good goals NO MORE offense!! I am totally agreed with your story about sex offender who lived in an apartment and they are scared so I don’t blame on them so protect thier childrens so please sent me e mail back alright … thank you!!
    Sincereley,
    Scott Bailry

  9. Guest Says:

    i read this blog and i know many rape victims infact more then half the women iknow are rape victims this site dosent give all the stastics, fact is registered sex offender is a vague word i mean its not the guy who had a relationaship with a 16 year old when he was 23 that were scared of is it? or the guy who groped the chick in the bar when he was drunk and got sexual battery? no its the rapists and other very similiar crimes that bother us and it should! fact is these people did commit a rape crime now rapes not like murder its not a wrong place wrong time i was scared i pulled the trigger its a brutal long crime and its a form of cruel and unsuaul torture in most countrys another statstic this website dosent list is the fact most rapes are commited by repeated offenders now some of the advice that the posters on this site have made like “I am a registered sex” is probly an extremly bad idea first of all my advice is dont put the guy on a pedastool hes not a superioly trained person who can unlock doors with magic

    take simple precautions first step 1 put up a no trespassing sign if u can especialy if ur in a rented hosue ect… step 2 consider getting a dog its still the best form of security there is. step 3 educate ur kids and what to do if this man aproaches them also another note registered sex offenders are more scared of you then you are of them cuz if they do one single pervy thing its back to prison right now there on the frying pan and wether or not they go back into the fire IS UP TO YOU not them their word is worth horse shit.

    now self defense if you have the trespassing in sign and he comes onto your property in most states you have the right to blow his head off again neighborhood watch is a good idea restraining orders are also a good idea especialy if he starts following around family members or takes pictures of your house another thing ARM YOU FAMILY im not saying go down to a shop and buy gun no dont do that but theres other things you can do knives for one dont need permits but a better idea is a stun gun if he comes near you mace him or stun him i mean wuts he gonna say officer im a registered sex offender and this young woman maced me when i approached her threateningly?

    good luck with that one. second of all people hate this asshole almost everyone does on the high list of likable people rapist is probly below terrorist fact is this guys freedom deepends on your patience if he goes on your property and you report him hes up shit creek without a paddle

    keep a camera with you to or a audio device for evidence i know alot of this is overboared but this is good danm advice. overall with education precaution and cordination a registered sex offender ceases to become a danger and become a pest and thats a much less scary idea n im sure theres good recovered rapists out there hell im sure one or two them has really turned over a new leaf my god i and you should feel horrible for considering these drastic measures the asnwer to that is no

    fact is rape is like i said before not a spure of the moment crime its not over in a second if this person wanted to be trusted and treated like a decent human being well he shoulda tought of that before he went around raping women and children i mean if i was car dealership owner i would not want some one who has commited grand theft auto working my shop if i was a bank manager i wouldnt hire a robber and if i was a father or a husband i would not alow a rapist anywere near my danm family its common sense honestly send these bastards back to prision if not for just stalking or harrasing your family then for wut they did to the first victim theres some shit you dont just wash off your hands in a cell thats one of them im sorry for my bad grammer i typed this in a hurry

    these people are scum of the earth now not all of them like i said RSO is a vague word but the rapists and forced sodomy and the child molestors are sick pricks and i dont care how much therapy the state put into it i will not base my familys safety on a rapists ethics and whyms basicly if they come near your family dont freak out just calmly say get away from me or i will call the police and report you for harrasment n you know wut if he dosent do it that is harrasment n back to jail he goes.

    its really that easy bottom line dont be scared dont be intimidiated fear is how most of the sick pricks commited the crime in the first place.

  10. Guest Says:

    Most apartment complexes usually will evict or move the sex offender. So, I don’t believe that for one moment that apartment complexes would even take them. Usually the media finds out about and it makes the complex look bad. I don’t feel sorry one bit for these sex offenders. It was their behavior that put them in the situation that they are today. What they did to their victims caused alot more damage and for them there is no parole.

  11. Guest Says:

    Sigh….moron

  12. Guest Says:

    You know sex offenders can be really messed up in the head. In no shape form or fashion is it ok for a 40 year old to touch a 10 year old. It’s even more messed up when they do it repeatedly. Those are the men and women who should be kept under constant watch. But what happens when you get a 17 year old and a 13 year old who lies about her age? Should he be locked away with the 40 year old. Well I’m that 17 year old and I don’t think so. I’m a registered sex offender in illinois. when I was 17 I got caught at work with a girl who was 13. I did’nt force her, threaten her or even promise her anything. I just a horny teenager who made a stupid choice. Now at 23 I have a two year old daughter that I have to protct, and I have to do it without the help of police. You think protecting your kids or finding somewhere to live is hard try living with this burden. I can’t hope to get a fair trial in custody court, police have actually denied me thier assisstance when I needed help, and getting a job is impossible. I’m at a point now where I’m losing things to care about and live for. A crime free man with nothing to lose is a nightmare in any crime so what will you do when you get a bunch a real pedophiles and rapist together who have nothing to lose? They have no money, no family, no friends, and half can’t get laid legally if they wanted to. You think getting robbed and raped is bad add being killed cause jail is the place for them anyway and they don’t want you as a witness. Keep in mind if this day comes I have to protect my kids with little or no help from police. People you put everyone in that same rso catagory and hate them all equally and thats wrong even the victims of these crimes can be a bit discriminatory. think about it people.

  13. Guest Says:

    My fiancee is now 26. We met while I was already pregnant and practically penniless. He overlooked that, and is the best father I could ever wish for. When he was 17 he had a 15 year old girlfriend. He has a third degree sex crime feloney. We cannot find an apartment in our price range near his job because of it. Soon my son and I will have to go to a shelter without his father and my soon to be husband. And people say these laws are fair.

  14. Guest Says:

    idiot

  15. Guest Says:

    hey rapist in illinois. HaHa! ur life sucks because you were such an idiot! ur a loser, i hope u rot, criminal scum!

  16. Guest Says:

    dats dumn but u should have known that she was a little gurl and now dats your fought and you need to watch out who you mess with but that’s a hard burden to live with and i hope one day that you can get a job and that is horrible you should have never been locked up the gurl parents or she should have been locked up because she should have never lied to you in the first place and she knew that you were to old for her and you should have just been watching out for that anywaybut yeah that’s all merry christmas

  17. Guest Says:

    No not true, no self respecting court is going to label a hot chick a sex offender for flashing her boobs unless shes one of those nutty schoolteachers. If someone carries the title sex offender, they’ve done something bad to deserve it albeit some are much worse than others.

  18. Bob Says:

    Wow! what started as a semi-sensible article and a well reasoned response has degenerated into a lot of knee-jerk, moronic responses.
    I am a sex offender. I messed up my life, I did my time and have tried to get on with my life. Unfortunately, TV and politicians have jumped on the “child molester” bandwagon and stirred up the public’s fears.
    The first respondent to this article had it right when he said that ostracizing RSO’s does nothing the help lessen the recidivism rate. In fact, the recidivism rate for RSO’s is less than that of non-sex offenders.
    Doubtful? This is quoted from a November 16, 2003 U.S. Department of Justice report:

    ” Sex offenders were less likely than non-sex offenders to be rearrested for any offense –– 43 percent of sex offenders versus 68 percent of non-sex offenders”

    Now, the next part of the quote is what the media and politicians love to quote:

    “But sex offenders were about four times more likely than non-sex offenders to be arrested for another sex crime after their discharge from prison”

    What that is really saying is that if a criminal is going to commit another offense then its probably going to be what they were originally arrested for. In fact, the drug dealer or cat burglar is more likely to re-offend than the RSO.
    That said, I can also understand peoples fear. I have children and, knowing the dangers out in the world, am very protective of them.
    With all the restrictions that are imposed on me, I am forced to live on the edges of society, spend my days associating with “shady” characters and try to keep my self-respect afloat. It is not always easy but every day is a victory.
    You want to see an offender re-offend? Push them away, make them lonely and depressed. The demons we all battle each day get stronger the more isolated we feel, their voices louder in the silence.
    Do I think we should be welcomed with open arms and welcoming smiles? No, I’m no longer that delusional. All I ask is that we’re given the same chance other felons are given, that the facts are looked at in realistic terms and that hysteria is given a rest.
    “Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time” is an adage I heard many times during my incarceration and probation. The fact of the matter is that I have done my time, I’ve done more than my time, new restrictions imposed and the length of registration extended. All in the name of quelling the fears of society.
    Perhaps it is time for society to accept that I’ve done all that they’ve asked of me and more and am moving on with my life

  19. Anonymous Says:

    The apartment complex I live in lied and said no sex offenders live here yet recently I found two that live here ..is this breach of contract?

  20. tom Says:

    i am a rdo and i had a hard time when i first got out, but i was told about this job, so i went and did an application and he asked why there was so much time from my last job and i told them i commited a sex crime and he hired me. it changed my life. the problem i have is i need treatment and it cost more than my means. can somebody tell me where in oklhoma city i can go for treatment /

  21. max Says:

    I was placed on the SOR list because i was at a party and this girl had been agressive most of the night . long story short her actions and my lack of better judgement i ended up with a CSC 2nd and it has been 15 years since . As i have come to find out she has done this same exact thing to 3 other fellows . I feel that there should be a case by case evaluation after a certain time frame .depending on the specifics in the case some should be able to get off the list after say 5 or ten years , instead of this blanket law . I agree rapists and child molesters are in the wrong and should be there for their crimes . the average joe that gets hooked up with a girl that misrepresents her age for kicks and then she turns it around on him really can really foul things up . I did 90 days on a tether and completed 3 yrs probation and total cost was around 5 grand . and i have to quarterly register until 2017 . wow talk about hindsight being 20/20 .

  22. Greg Says:

    Well i am a RSO for sexually offending a 6 year old when i was thirteen and when she was 8 and still i have trouble sleeping at night i am not a repeated offeneder now for the fact I have went to lock up and to a 24 month treatment center, and i am not like one of them hard cores one niegther I’m just your average 18 year old who will cut his grandparents grass, help someone out by pushing there car out the way give money to the need and help my family out and who is trying to make a living and i’m not a bad person… YES..!!! what i did was terriably selfish and ignorat and I am trying to give back kinda by giving my younger brothers and sister (none of them were victims) wisdom on how to live life successfully and other young or people my age or older advise to save them through what i went through, theres people in my neighborhood that know but i am such (well i try) good hearted person i don’t bother no one and i keep myself to myself and i feel that people need to stop judging all us ROSs all the same, cause were not, like i have learn my lesson and others too. And because people judge me like this i don’t have a JOB.. because the less people know, the more there scared and wanna act on it, and protect themselves and i am a supporter on that on protecting and stuff, but hey do some research, instead of judging iight…

  23. Anonymous Says:

    Excluding the 18 year old boyfriend 16 year old girlfriend circumstance….real rapists and child molesters/rapists/pedophiles should be shot or hung until dead. You serve no purpose to society except to harm. Such a waste of space.

  24. Aurora Says:

    I want to say a couple of things here! I am a victim of sex assult by a child! My father! For the most part it is family members that do this. It has been 18 years since it stopped and I have to say that not every RSO has done that! You don’t know their case and yet you still judge! My best friend is an RSO and he is still a good person! He was at a bar talking and leaving with a girl, when cops showed up because of a call and now he is an RSO because she was 17! The bas did not get shut down only he got convicted! You people that think you already know this man is horrible and out to do this all over again are wrong! Even after my life, I have gone to a class on all of this and you people are ignorant and retarded! You don’t know what this person did or anything yet you want him hung or shot or even not to have anywhere to live!I also know someone with a family and now they can’t find a place that they can really afford! You all should be ashamed of yourself! You talk about GOD and GOD that, who are you to judge? Unless you know everything about everyone keep your mouth shut! You are the reason people now act the way they do about situations like this! This is not a witch hunt!

    Another thing, you never hear about convicted murders living near you! Do you really think everyone on your block is perfect? Look again! what about the person you are married to or going out with? You don’t know everything about someone and you never will! I give everyone the benefit of the doubt!

    People can change and become better people! Maybe they made a mistake or poor judgement or maybe they really are bad people but you can’t judge them!

  25. C Smith Says:

    I also have to register as a sex offender. I had no victim. I picked up a hooker who turned out to be underage. There was no sex or touching. The only thing the police had was I paid her and she made a statement. Most likely she did this to get out of trouble. My point is that not all sex offender’s are not child molesters or having child porn. When some of my friend’s found out that I was a sex offender, I told them what happen and they understand. I told my best friend even before he found out. I am not say I shouldn’t be punished for what I did. I think that the hard core sex offender’s i.e. who had sex with teen’s should be on the Megan’s list. But for people like me should not be on the magen’s list instead be on probation for 10 years or more and weekly visit from the probation dept.

  26. Anonymous Says:

    I am a 54 yr old woman who has to register as a SO because I became involved with my husband while he was incarcerated and I was an employee. I was 48 and he was 42. No other crimes in life. Now 10 years of registering. Do people actually look at the reason a person is labled or do they look only at the lable. How come repeat DUI’s or people who cause car accidents while they are drunk don’t get labled. I am in total agreement of people who commit sexual crimes and have victims need to register so they can be tracked but there are a whole lot of people that should never have to wear the label.

  27. Anonymous Says:

    Folks, let’s get a grip. I am an RSO. Now that it is out of the way. This is what I think. And yes, I still have that guaranteed right.

    RSO’s regardless of type must be sensitive to the feelings and concerns of victims. They are not their victim, indeed the RSO may not have a victim, but empathy with victims will do much to calm waters so that a “rational” discussion can take place. There is a great deal of hurt and pain associated with the crime and some victims never recover. This includes the RSO who wrote the well meaning and well written article WAAAAYYYY at the top of this column. Good ideas, but simply not plausible given the fear and stygma.

    To society:
    We (majority of RSO’s) in no way want anything to do with your children. Many of us want some of our own and share your concerns over their welfare and safety. The treatment of RSO’s comes down to rights. When you commit a crime you lose a great many of your rights. But traditionally in the US, when committment is complete and the full price paid, rights are restored. The re-offender usually gets life. AS WELL HE SHOULD. The current laws in place (registration and compliance), while necessary for public safety, are by the letter and their very essence a violation of constitutional and civil rights for those they target. NO MATTER how you spin it or what excuses and justifications are offered…you cannot change this fact. Of course for the general good of society, some liberties to a select group can and are oppressed and most people are okay with this, as am I.

    Know the case before you jump to conclusions. The first responder has a good idea. Find a safe setting and dialogue with the EX-offender. Chances are he/she is not going to assault you right there in front of a group of people. We would never suggest to bring the children. Educating them is parental responsibility. Everyone deserves a second change to live. Not a second chance to victimize of course, but several good ideas on education and protection have been given and should be heeded.

    Here is the crux of the issue:
    What about the people who will offend and haven’t yet? What about those who have never been caught? Most military commanders will tell you that you guard against the threat you cannot see. And to do this you have to put aside the bias and know the issue. Get involved in the treatment and educate yourself. Understand the factors that send SO’s down the road they choose. Educate your children (teens) in healthy sexuality and the laws surrounding legal consent. (I guarantee that many of the 17-19 yo RSO’s would have made wiser decisions regarding their gf’s had they known EXACTLY what they were in for).

    Most child molesters do not own vans with no windows and park them behind the bushes in front of the elementary school. They don’t play in the sandbox. You simply can’t see them. So help your kids help themselves because after all, you can’t be around them all the time.

    It’s important to know that an offender is far less likely to re-offend if he has gainful employment and a safe place to live. Folks, he is watched. His phones and internet are monitored, the police check regularly as also does the local sex offender registrar. If you live near one, tell the kids where to avoid. But this really goes for all kids in today’s society.

    I have nothing to say to the previous angry and ignorant posts. Most people who exhibit such a reaction have something to hide. This is excepting the victims of course. I will always respect the victims. I have no victim in my case, but it could have happened had I made just a few more bad decisions. So my hat’s off to you. Your rights before ours. But please folks, give us a chance to make it.

    Folks use your heads. Calm down and think it through. Put yourself in the other man’s shoes.
    I know you hate me and I wish you didn’t. But, you know….I won’t lose sleep over ignorance.

    Peace

  28. cp Says:

    i was so glad when i came across this… my fiancee and i are looking for apartments hes a registered sex offender im hoping that some of the sites i come across the landlords can look at and maybe help ease their minds about renting to us i have a 14 month old son and were trying to get our lifes started but ignorant people sit there and judge one person thats a rso the same as the next rso well be honest ill tell you what he did he accedently downloaded teen porn at the age of 20 off of frost wire the girl was 14 that was over a year ago… how about you treat them like a person first and a rso second… im not saying trust them with your kids and your friends or even yourself but dont just pile them all up in one lump my fiancee is not a rapist not a child molester nothing like that yet the moment people hear they judge him as one… hes only been charged with one violent crime and he was 15 at the time and it was a misdemeanor i find it very unfair that you are hateful towards all when theres only some…. my friend got on the sex offenders list when he was 12 because he experimented with his 9 year old cousin… does that sound right… for some lil boy to be put on the offender registry for the rest of his life for that one mistake he made when he was 12 hes now 20 and it still haunts him… some of you guys make me sick…. you want your community to be safe but you dont want any rso’s to have the right to find a place to live so they can be registered? how messed up is that your more likely to be victimized by someone who isnt even on the registry because they cant be checked up on by the cops… are you going to act the same way if someones released from prison that was convicted of murder because they beat someone to death? thats a violent crime… my fiancee isnt even considered a predator nor did he even had a victim yet you say that hes probably going to find a victim by joining and being a productive member of society? thats pure bs id like to knock some freakin sense into you… yea i can understand being a victim at one point messed up your entire life but dont think for a second that the person who made you the victim is exactly the same as the rest…. if you think theres a problem speak to the police they have a right to go and question him or her… and its your job as a parent to educate your kids about that person its your choice if its ignored… im begging you as people to realize you arent the same as the person 3 blocks away from you and then rso down the street is not the same as the rso 2 towns away… if you remember right not even 80 years ago we were marrying 12 year old girls to 40 year old men and here we are saying that its wrong now… i understand that society has changed and weve matured enough to realize they werent quite old enough but when you look at it alll and i mean all of our ancestors are sex offenders… right i do have a point…. honestly this is a controversial subject and there are going to many varying opinions but dont sit there and scrutinize on if the sex offender in your neighbor hood is the same as the rapist on death row… chances are they arent even close… my fiancee has yet to get his life started and if no one will give him a chance then he wont ever be able to… oh and heres an interesting fact in ks the age of consent was lowered to 14 and heres another fact coming from my past experiances when i was 13 years old i lied to get with an older guy…you know what there are alot of girls like that out there all the time… no parent should think their princess is perfect really im telling you alot of girls now days are just lil excuse me hussies… we act like its not our fault but some of it is if you didnt let your 12 year old dress like brittney spears or lady gaga or who ever else then we would probably cut down on the rsos and repeat offenses or as for the ones who like little kids if we didnt put our girls out there like that on a stage and put fake eyelashes on them and tan them and put slutty make up on them and short lil skirts we wouldnt have things like the Jon Benet case and the worst part is we turn around and put that kinda crap on tv. honestly its like were dressing them up for them… y dont you think twice about this… some of you guys sicken me really if you really have that big of a problem why dont you really look at the stats for re offenses and treatment which my fiancee is court ordered to do as per probation heres a site ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/when_a_registered_sex_offender_lives_near_you.html take a look… and as for the first guy cudos to you man your right if you take a bit of time to get to know that person at least you can closer watch his actions im not saying be his best friend im just saying take 5 min of your day to treat someone like a person. and if everyone in the community was to do that at least youd know how he or she is and what to REALLY expect from them… honestly though if your going to sit here and believe bull crap like theyre all the same i guess i can group the rest of you together too and just because i dont like how you have your yard set up ill treat you like shit…. honestly your no better than they are they are human and have the right to make mistakes and the right to try and fix them… rather than thinking they did this ask them if they have remorse for what they did… if they do you might just see that they are people too that they sympathize and care and are compassionate at least most of them are and the others…they cant help that theyre attracted to this just like a person who has schizophrenia cant help hearing voices in their head… ugh im so tired of stereotypical people who stereotype…until america can come to terms that over 30% of the population is a sex offender (yea thats right) and learn to educate themselves about the law, protection and the rso, and educate the kids as well then this will always be an ongoing controversial debate….o btw just saying 15% of those rsos outta the 30% are wrongfully convicted… and it is belived that the actual amount of sex offenders is more in the 50% range counting the registered and unregistered… you should be more worried about the ones that arent because u dont know and you cant find out if they are until its too late… dont worry about the ones who follow the rules like in ks you have to re-register 3 times a year and report any changes in address or employment or even if you seek higher education and you have to get a dl or state issued id every year… that means they are very well covered and often checked up on… im begging you please no longer place every single rso in the same group its like saying a person who smokes pot is the same as a murderer….

  29. cp Says:

    oh and own… the Oprah Winfrey network had a special on tonight over sex offenders you should try to check it out its our america state of sex offenders…. shell tell you exactly how it is… and youll get to see the other side of it see the side of their life that you as american citizens make them live see the risks and dangers here officers and specialist talk on how shoving them out of the community is making them dissapear and not register anymore and you remember what i said about that… well they say the same thing.

  30. cp Says:

    sry i didnt relize i copy and pasted the wrong link

  31. cp Says:

    i was so glad when i came across this… my fiancee and i are looking for apartments hes a registered sex offender im hoping that some of the sites i come across the landlords can look at and maybe help ease their minds about renting to us i have a 14 month old son and were trying to get our lifes started but ignorant people sit there and judge one person thats a rso the same as the next rso well be honest ill tell you what he did he accedently downloaded teen porn at the age of 20 off of frost wire the girl was 14 that was over a year ago… how about you treat them like a person first and a rso second… im not saying trust them with your kids and your friends or even yourself but dont just pile them all up in one lump my fiancee is not a rapist not a child molester nothing like that yet the moment people hear they judge him as one… hes only been charged with one violent crime and he was 15 at the time and it was a misdemeanor i find it very unfair that you are hateful towards all when theres only some…. my friend got on the sex offenders list when he was 12 because he experimented with his 9 year old cousin… does that sound right… for some lil boy to be put on the offender registry for the rest of his life for that one mistake he made when he was 12 hes now 20 and it still haunts him… some of you guys make me sick…. you want your community to be safe but you dont want any rso’s to have the right to find a place to live so they can be registered? how messed up is that your more likely to be victimized by someone who isnt even on the registry because they cant be checked up on by the cops… are you going to act the same way if someones released from prison that was convicted of murder because they beat someone to death? thats a violent crime… my fiancee isnt even considered a predator nor did he even had a victim yet you say that hes probably going to find a victim by joining and being a productive member of society? thats pure bs id like to knock some freakin sense into you… yea i can understand being a victim at one point messed up your entire life but dont think for a second that the person who made you the victim is exactly the same as the rest…. if you think theres a problem speak to the police they have a right to go and question him or her… and its your job as a parent to educate your kids about that person its your choice if its ignored… im begging you as people to realize you arent the same as the person 3 blocks away from you and then rso down the street is not the same as the rso 2 towns away… if you remember right not even 80 years ago we were marrying 12 year old girls to 40 year old men and here we are saying that its wrong now… i understand that society has changed and weve matured enough to realize they werent quite old enough but when you look at it alll and i mean all of our ancestors are sex offenders… right i do have a point…. honestly this is a controversial subject and there are going to many varying opinions but dont sit there and scrutinize on if the sex offender in your neighbor hood is the same as the rapist on death row… chances are they arent even close… my fiancee has yet to get his life started and if no one will give him a chance then he wont ever be able to… oh and heres an interesting fact in ks the age of consent was lowered to 14 and heres another fact coming from my past experiances when i was 13 years old i lied to get with an older guy…you know what there are alot of girls like that out there all the time… no parent should think their princess is perfect really im telling you alot of girls now days are just lil excuse me hussies… we act like its not our fault but some of it is if you didnt let your 12 year old dress like brittney spears or lady gaga or who ever else then we would probably cut down on the rsos and repeat offenses or as for the ones who like little kids if we didnt put our girls out there like that on a stage and put fake eyelashes on them and tan them and put make up on them and short lil skirts we wouldnt have things like the Jon Benet case and the worst part is we turn around and put that kinda crap on tv. honestly its like were dressing them up for them… y dont you think twice about this… some of you guys sicken me really if you really have that big of a problem why dont you really look at the stats for re offenses and treatment which my fiancee is court ordered to do as per probation and as for the first guy cudos to you man your right if you take a bit of time to get to know that person at least you can closer watch his actions im not saying be his best friend im just saying take 5 min of your day to treat someone like a person. and if everyone in the community was to do that at least youd know how he or she is and what to REALLY expect from them… honestly though if your going to sit here and believe bull crap like theyre all the same i guess i can group the rest of you together too and just because i dont like how you have your yard set up ill treat you like crap…. honestly your no better than they are they are human and have the right to make mistakes and the right to try and fix them… rather than thinking they did this ask them if they have remorse for what they did… if they do you might just see that they are people too that they sympathize and care and are compassionate at least most of them are and the others…they cant help that theyre attracted to this just like a person who has schizophrenia cant help hearing voices in their head… ugh im so tired of stereotypical people who stereotype…until america can come to terms that over 30% of the population is a sex offender (yea thats right) and learn to educate themselves about the law, protection and the rso, and educate the kids as well then this will always be an ongoing controversial debate….o btw just saying 15% of those rsos outta the 30% are wrongfully convicted… and it is belived that the actual amount of sex offenders is more in the 50% range counting the registered and unregistered… you should be more worried about the ones that arent because u dont know and you cant find out if they are until its too late… dont worry about the ones who follow the rules like in ks you have to re-register 3 times a year and report any changes in address or employment or even if you seek higher education and you have to get a dl or state issued id every year… that means they are very well covered and often checked up on… im begging you please no longer place every single rso in the same group its like saying a person who smokes pot is the same as a murderer….

  32. glock9 Says:

    Knee-jerk reaction…I feel this way if you are a CONVICTED FELON and registered as a violent sex offender then you do not deserve a thing from society. Bottom line is you are a FELON caused by your violent sex offenses. The only type of landlord that would move a sex offender into a apartment building is called a SLUM lord…period. after the money. One recently moved into my apartment building and he will be watched closely. This is just another reason why people need to get a gun, get a concealed permit, and become very good at using it just in case some so called reformed sex FELON decides he needs to fulfill himself again. Rehabilitation is a failure, these people are just a sick part of society that needs to be weeded out. So stopp all the trying to justify how good you are and how reformed you are and blah blah blah…if you WERE so good and all, why are you a convicted sex offender FELON?

  33. appartments Says:

    I savour, cause I found just what I used to be taking a look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

  34. Appauled Says:

    Everyone deserves a chance… My husband is an RSO but ge NEVER commited a crime!!! He told his dad about his little sister (12 at the time) having a relationship with a 23 yr old and she in turn got upset when daddy took everything away from her… She decided to go to school and lie to her friends that my husband touched her boob!! A school official called the police… We thought charges were dropped when we turned in the affidavit from his sister saying she lied… But no… The state picked it up… And guess what!! Being a broke young family and never being in trouble with the law we couldn’t afford a lawyer and got a crappy court apointed lawyer and he told my husband to take a plea deal… And if he didn’t he would go to prison for 60 years!!! And here we are struggling and being judged… It’s taken a toll on us.. But we are trying… We are both working and both enrolled in college… But still we are rediculed and discriminated against.. Even though we have the same fears as our neighbors have we are still considered “trash” the only mistake we made was being young, broke, and gulliable..

  35. Guest Says:

    I also happen to be a RSO, because of stupid choices I made when I was younger. But I have been lucky enough not to be labeled like so many other have, mostly because I now prefer to toe the line and not stick my neck out to get it chopped off. My landlord knows I am a RSO but he doesn’t look at me any differently than anyone else. It’s also a safe bet my neighbors know about me, considering they tend to give me a wide berth whenever they see me but to be honest, I could care less.
    Do I consider myself to be cured or rehabilitated? Let me answer that by saying that I do not believe there is such a word as “cured” or “rehabilitated.” Anyone who has been through AA will tell you there is no such thing as a cured alcoholic… It is a lifetime process where even the slightest slip will cause him to fall off the bandwagon and back into that lifestyle again. Another example: Say you catch a cold, then later you feel better from that cold. Do you consider yourself “cured” of that cold? No, because there will also be a chance of you catching that cold again. Hence, there is no such thing as cured or rehabilitated, no matter the circumstance.
    If you find out a RSO lives in your apartment complex, nobody says you have to talk to him, nobody says you have to be his friend, nobody says you have to pretend he even exists in your life! But here’s a little something to think about: At least he IS registered so you know who he is and where he lives, so you can steer clear of him and keep your kids away from him. But what about the ones out there who are NOT registered because they have never gotten caught? I will bet two-to-one you have no clue who they are or where they live!
    This is why it is so very important that any victims of sexual assault must come forward and report it. Only then can the offenders be caught and be dealt with; And the healing process can finally begin. The problem is victims of sexual assault are just as stigmatized in our society, making them more reluctant to come forward.
    Of course, it’s very easy to use the knee-jerk reaction that all sex offenders must be put to death but to be realistic that really doesn’t solve anything. As long as humanity has existed sex offenders have always lived among us, whether we knew it or not. And until when and if a way can ever be found to keep them from offending in the first place, they will always live among humanity; That’s just the reality of the world we’re forced to live in.

  36. KDG Says:

    You are all friggin nuts, I verify because of some game my ex wife played to get me out of the house I owned that was in my name. She destroyed my life, and made me look like something I’m not. Some of the individuals out there are sick as hell, I will agree totaly, but for a man that’s never been in trouble, who took a piss out his own back door on 6acres of land I DID own to be a RSO is pathetic, and so is the treatment I get no matter where I live and no matter how clean my record is, and was until that ONE day I pissed off the balcony of my own home. So there are circumstances you pyscos need to realize happen because of crazy ex wives, or simple misunderstandings. And for the people that were humiliated by being an actual victim I do have a great ammount of sorrow for what happened, but to sit and bash people like myself, well kinda makes you just as evil as the people that hurt you!!!! The laws still are a joke, and when dealing with an ex wife who was sleeping with a cop where all of a sudden I’m a pervert ONE day of my life, you should really think before you judge to harshly!

  37. Guest Says:

    I just found out that there is a registered sex offender living in my building and it’s driving me nuts.. He was convicted of sexually abusing a male under 5 yrs old.. I am literally sick to my stomach because I have a child that age. There are also day cares and many families living in the building.. I called his parole office (to tell them about day cares being in the same building) and was met with hostility because I did not want to give my information for fear of being a target. The RSO is very friendly with neighbors WHO ALSO HAVE KIDS. I reached out to the landlord anonymously and he doubts the person lives there because he doesn’t remember the name as being a resident. I have seen the RSO with my own two eyes, many times.. What else can I do? *sigh* I’m so frustrated.. I live in NY.

  38. Guest1 Says:

    My husband is an RSO who is innocent. The false charge destroyed our lives and did nothing to help the real victims of sexual assault. All the registry does is create further havoc in our lives. We are humiliated, depressed, and fear for our safety. All it takes is one lie from a manipulative person and it’s over. They do not require evidence to convict. Google “I lied that I was raped” and similar statements to see how often this happens. The registry destroys families, inhibits rebuilding, and incites fear.

  39. Andrew Walter Says:

    I am having to register because I had a girlfriend when I was 20 (I’m 21 now) who lied to me telling me she was 18 when found out later she was really only 16. My life came crashing down all because I was lied too. I admit I made a mistake and should have “checked ID” but non the less I was lied too. Also the girl I’m in trouble for had actually lied to her last boyfriend before me and got him in trouble too and she got in trouble herself.

    Before all this happened I was in training to become an airline pilot, I had a chance at being successful in life, had a chance to follow my dream. Now with all of this happening my life has come crashing down. I lost my job at an airport because of my court case an still can not find work. I was evicted from my apartments and am still currently homeless.

    I am only 21 and people judge me as if I’m a monster, like I’m some sick freak and possible jobs treat me like such and throw out my application. The thing that hurts the most is she admitted too the court that she lied to me and led me on but the court didn’t care about her story, they only cared that we had consensual sex…and now I fear I will never fly again, let alone have a house and a job again. Im only 21 and already I feel it’s game over, all cause I was lied too.

  40. milo.smith Says:

    I am a high school student and my parents provided me an app on my phone that I found very helpful and useful. It’s an app where I would be able to view threat level and registered sex offender in my area. And what I like about the most on this app is that I would be able to send an immediate alert to my loved ones once I encounter an emergency. If needed, the call can also be escalated to the nearest 911. This is a life saving app. You should check this out SafeTREC.com

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