How to Handle Your Roommate's Pet

Monday, September 17, 2007

If you like animals but aren't ready for the responsibility of owning your own pet yet, having a pet owner for a roommate can seem like a great deal. You benefit from many of the perks of having a pet with a fraction of the responsibility. Of course, things don't always go smoothly. Your stuff is just as vulnerable as your roommate's is to cat scratches and stains from dog urine. If your roommate's hamster escapes its cage, it becomes your problem as well. When you agree to live with someone who has a pet, it's best to figure out where to draw the line of responsibility before things go wrong.

Most people correctly assume that the pet owner is completely responsible for the care and upkeep of his or her pet. However, if you love animals and don't mind doing your roommate a favor, you may have assumed some responsibilities of your own, such as taking the dog for a walk or taking the cat to the vet when your roommate is busy. If your responsibilities are now shared, you need to be extremely clear about where yours end and your roommate's begin. For instance, who is responsible if your roommate's dog bites someone while you are walking it? Should you replace a goldfish that dies under your care when your roommate is on vacation? You may also assume that the pet owner is responsible for all pet-related costs, all the time. But if you have started to think of your roommate's dog as your own, your roommate may assume that the two of you are in this together, sharing responsibilities as well as costs. It's important to be clear about what you are willing to do and what you aren't.

Spend enough time living with a dog or cat and something is bound to be destroyed. Generally, if your roommate's pet ruins something that belongs to you, your roommate should pay to replace it. Things get more complicated when you've been irresponsible with your things. If you leave expensive gourmet cookies on a table within reach of the dog, chances are that they'll be eaten. Though you may feel you have the right to leave your things wherever you like, remember that you did decide to live with a pet, even if you don't actually own it. Don't be surprised if your roommate doesn't feel culpable if you should have been more responsible to begin with.

Most people know understand the daily hazards of living with an animal. If you love them, you're probably willing to assume a certain amount of risk. But what should you do if it turns out that your roommate's pet has a serious behavior problem? "I found a roommate on craigslist," says Becky, student in San Francisco. "I moved into the place she already occupied with her dog, a Lab-Shepherd mix. The dog jumped all over me and ran around like crazy when I visited the place, but she told me that it was just excited because I was a new person." A dog-lover, Becky happily agreed to rent on a month-to-month basis. "Thank God I didn't sign a lease," she remembers. "The jumping and running around was just the beginning. The dog had a serious behavior problem and my roommate just wasn't willing to do anything about it. I moved out after two months."

If you've found yourself in a similar situation, there may be little that you can do besides leave. Most pet owners (rightly) feel a strong sense of responsibility for their pets and will do whatever they can to avoid parting with them. Asking your roommate to get rid of a hyperactive dog or aggressive cat probably won't go over well. However, they may be more receptive if you can suggest some possible solutions that don't involve giving the pet away. Some ideas include bitter-tasting sprays for pets that like to chew furniture, citronella collars and other products to control barking, the number of a local dog walker, or new toys for a cat that likes to scratch. If you show that you're looking for a solution that will work for both of you, your roommate will be more apt to tackle the problem constructively. Of course, a situation like Becky's may not have a solution. Before you agree to live with someone else's pet, make sure you feel comfortable with the animal's behavior. Make a few visits before you sign a lease or agree to a month-to-month basis until you're sure that you can live with the animal.

On the other hand, if you are a pet owner yourself, you're lucky to have found a roommate who is willing to live with a pet. You'll have to be extra responsible to ensure that your roommate enjoys living with your pet. If something goes wrong, the responsibility will almost always land in your lap. Even if your roommate offers to pay for a damaged item or tells you not to worry about something your pet did, it's better to insist on paying for any damage. Remember that your roommate may just be trying to be polite. Keep the relationship positive by assuming all responsibility for your pet.

Have you found yourself in a difficult pet-related situation? Do you have a pet problem you can't solve? Tell us about it in the comments section.

My roommate has had her

#81571 On Saturday, August 16, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

My roommate has had her puppy for 7 months now and it is still not potty trained! I love animals but am not home enough to really help with her dog. This poor thing is stuck outside on our small patio from 11am to 1am (that is not a typo) with only one walk a day. She does not get up before 10:30, so she essentially showers, puts the dog on the patio and leaves. Since the dog does not get out in the morning it pees all over her room. I can actually smell the stench from the living room! Last week, it had gotten into some treats and had diarrhea all over her room....she said she didn't feel like cleaning it!!! Now she has a new boyfriend (which is a whole nother issue) and she is home even less! One day, she was actually gone from 12 in the afternoon and did not return untill 1 in the afternoon the following day!

I have discussed with her about getting the dog training lessons and paying more attention to her dog, however she will decided to shape up for about 2 days and then we are back to square one. She finally decided to get the dog "training lessons" where she hired some guy off of craigs list for a single 2 hour session and then never practices the tactics he taught her.

I am honestly at my wits end! To top it all off, she kills her betta fish because she "forgot" to feed it for two weeks and then leaves it and the bowl on our dining room table for a month! I had to tell her three times that she needed to throw out the fish. So what does she do? She scoops the fish out of the bowl (which is now down to about an inch of bubbly rotty water) and leaves the bowl on the table!

Any help would be appreciated. I am actually trying to get her to move out (like I said, boyfriend is a totally different and terrifying issue) but she refuses. I really don't want to loose our current place since I was the one who found it and it is litterally about a 10 minute walk to my work (where as it is a 30 minute drive to hers) but I just don't know what to do to stop her from abusing her dog anymore. Please Help!

I have been in similar

#81794 On Thursday, August 21, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

I have been in similar situations. unfortunately, short of teaching your roommate lessons in responsibility and accountability that her parents should've thought her years ago, there is not much you can do. The best advice I have is to change your living situation as soon as possible, whether that means moving out or asking her to move out asap. Hopefully you’re not involved in too long a rental agreement. If it would make you feel any better, go ahead and show her this strangers post. I have no reason take a side, and maybe she'll realize that and stop acting like a child and start cleaning up her messes. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to get though to these people, because being able to take criticism is something that come with maturity, which your roommate obviously lacks. Good Luck.

My roommates and I decided

#80539 On Friday, July 11, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

My roommates and I decided to get a dog to ensure our protection. We moved out of that house and into a new house with a backyard. Although I don't keep my dog outside at all times, she does like to be outside. However, since my roommate treats the backyard like a storage unit, the dog always gets into things of hers. I've talked to my roommate about not leaving her stuff outside, but to no avail theres always new things outside. I don't feel responsible for these damages because I already talked ot her about it. It makes it ten times harder to train a dog not to get into things when there is ample space to get into trouble when not around.Its so frustrating because I am extra clean and try my best not to be "the roommate with a dog", but my roommate has no regard for the dog even though we got it together.....its even more annoying because she says she loves it and would love to take it if I were to give the dog up--YEAH RIGHT

i have a cat and i for no

#79902 On Friday, June 20, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

i have a cat and i for no goddamn reason at all.... suddenly my roommate came home with cat food... and began feeding my cat.... i was INSTANTLY offended...HERE IS SOME ROOMMATE ETIQUETTE..... FEEDING YOUR ROOMMATE'S PET WHEN YOU HAVENT BEEN ASKED IS LIKE FEEDING SOMEONE'S CHILD WHEN YOU HAVENT BEEN ASKED.
now he's gonna think im an asshole cause im gonna say... dont feed my cat man. now.. if i mistreated or didnt feed my animal... i can see him saying something... but to just start feeding my cat.. chapped my ass.

Both me and my roomate each

#79330 On Thursday, May 22, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

Both me and my roomate each have our own dogs. She adoped her dog from the pound while I got mine from a breeder. The only problem I have with her dog is it is SO agressive with my dog!!! It will bite her, growl at her for no reason, .... I have to keep my dog locked up in my room all day while her dog gets to run around the living room. (I can't keep her in the living room bc her dog will start biting my dog on the neck and shaking my dog while he is gripping her neck). My dog will start yelping in pain.
I'm assuming her dog has some sort of agression problems with other dogs, and I wish she would take it to some sort of trainer to get things situated. She keeps saying "oh that's how dogs just play". I've grown up with many dogs and other animals, and they do not play that agressive. Her dog has also tried to bite other people and one time I took her dog to the bathroom down the block for her and the dog tried to bite a child!

My roommate convinced me to

#78440 On Sunday, April 06, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

My roommate convinced me to let her adopt a dachshund. The dog is really cute and she does most of the caring for him. He also sleeps in her bed (a dependency issue I worried about from the beginning). The problem is she has just started seeing someone who lives in another part of town and whose building does not allow dogs, and has already told me that it is not realistic for her to sleep at home every night but the dog is incredibly needy (whines and cries when he is not given constant attention) and won't sleep in my bed. She suggests I leave the dog in the living room overnight and let him sleep in his dog bed, but he barks when there are people in the hallway of our apartment building and I worry that this behavior will keep both me and my neighbors awake. Should I try it anyway, and then upon threat of eviction force her to come up with a more creative solution, or should I just move out when my lease is up in September? Or should I try to sleep with the dog in my bed? I also should note that my roommate is a very good friend of mine, and we get along extremely well; this is the one point of contention. Please help!

i have a weird problem. I

#77882 On Monday, February 25, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

i have a weird problem. I have a little 6 month old corgi. she doesn't chew or bite or bark or jump on people. she is friendly and inquisitive and rarely strays from my room. she sheds a bit and i have been vaccuuming common areas once a week and sweeping the kitchen twice a day for upkeep, My roommates and landlord all gave me verbal consent to keep her in the apartment, she has been here since february ninth 2008 and is finally comfortable in her new home after a long stay in a pet store. the only time she peed in the house she peed on a rug i own and was promptly cleaned up. she pooped once in a roommates room and i was more upset than she was, also promptly cleaned up and no problems since. now one roommate's parent (we are all between 19 - 21 in college) is freaking out about the dog being here.

is there anything i can do to keep her? noone has allergies, and the landlord is avoiding getting involved, the girl and her parent both refuse to speak to me directly. any advice would be great.

My roommate does a poor job

#77135 On Thursday, January 31, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

My roommate does a poor job in taking care of his dog and cleaning up after his dog.

The dog is a large, active breed type- a German Shepherd mix. The dog is not well trained- it cannot be allowed to roam around the apartment without constant supervision. You cannot even step out of the room to use the bathroom! The dog is frequently is only taken out twice a day to use the bathroom, for 5-10 minute walks. The dog also whines excessively and will either whine or bark at my roommate for attention whenever he walks by.

Also, my roommate keeps the dog gated into the kitchen but does not sweep or mop the kitchen to keep it clean of dog fur- only once in 4 months. And does not vacuum the other common areas the dog is frequently in- again only once in 4 months.

How can I convince my roommate to either take better care of the dog or get rid of the dog so it can have a better life? As much as I like dogs, his dog is not my responsibility and I don't want to make the dog my responsibility. I don't mind taking it out occasionally or giving the dog water, but I don't have the time or energy to have his dog relying on me.

I have virtually the exact

#77406 On Monday, February 04, 2008 Guest (not verified) said,

I have virtually the exact same problem with my roommate.

Is there someone with any advice out there?

Let us know!

Difficult topic- Roommates

#75534 On Sunday, December 09, 2007 Guest (not verified) said,

Difficult topic- Roommates and dogs... My roommate thinks my dog is his and crosses the line ALL THE TIME. Feeding my dog table food, training the dog, letting the dog sleep with him in his bed, taking the dog to the park without consulting me etc.. I need to move out because of it.

Try to avoid apartments that have dogs in them with roommates.. it just causes so much drama!

My sister moved in in August

#74254 On Monday, November 05, 2007 Guest (not verified) said,

My sister moved in in August of this year with her 8 year old son and a 1 year old lab/shetter mix. I have a dog and a cat so having an extra animal in the house didn't seem like a bad idea. Boy was I wrong... She contantly barks and bounces all over the place knocking my stuff down. If that's not annoying enough she is still not house broken. On a weekly basis she will either poop or pee in her kennel while we're both at work. On days we're home she will poop on my floor if my sister leaves. My guess would be that she has separation anxiety of some sort. I love animals but I have reached a point in which I just can't even stand the dog anymore. I'm sure the dog senses it now because she has pooped and peed in front of my bedroom door while everyone was at home. She gets really mad I keep the door closed and do not let her in there. She also has poor habits of jumping on counters, stealing my just made breakfast/lunch/dinner and she has scratched 3 of my doors, including a screen door. It doesn't do any good to replace the doors at this point, she'll just ruing them too. This dog also chewed up a pair of my shoes. My frustration comes from the way my sister trains the dog. It's non-existent. I have now asked her to get rid of her dog or move out and she thinks she is choosing to move out. I'm not sure when/if this will take place and it makes me sad. I wish there's something I could've done but I'm tired of having my house smell like dog poop and pee. I know it's unfair to ask a person to get rid of their pet but I can't handle the dog anymore.

CAPS LOCK ISNT NECESSARY.

#74005 On Thursday, October 18, 2007 Guest (not verified) said,

CAPS LOCK ISNT NECESSARY. Try typing like human.

My roomates pet destroyed

#74001 On Thursday, October 18, 2007 Guest (not verified) said,

My roomates pet destroyed the apartments carpet and my name is on the lease (as well as my rommate`s). We moved out of the apartment, and now they are charging us for carpet replacement. How can I prove the pet wanst mine ? thank you

I HAVE 2 SMALL DOGS...

#73652 On Sunday, September 23, 2007 Guest (not verified) said,

I HAVE 2 SMALL DOGS... FATHER & DAUGHTER. THE OLDER DOG LOUI AGE 2 HAS A REAL BAG AGGRESSIVE PROBLEM. HE HAS BIT PEOPLE ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS & HAS CAUSED ME QUITE A SCARE. I LIVE ALONE IN A 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT & LATELY HAVE HAD A FEW ROOMMATES. THE FIRST ROOMMATE I HAD HE BIT & THEN HE GOT USE TO HER & EVERYTHING TURNED OUT OK. HE CURRENTLY SNIPED MY CURRENT ROOMMATE & I DONT WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES SO I HAVE TO PUT HIM AWAY EVERY TIME SHE COMES AROUND BECAUSE SHE IS NOW SCARED OF HIM. I DO NOTICE THAT THE MORE I TRY TO KEEP SOMEONE AWAY THE ANGRIER IT MAKES HIM, BUT I DONT WANT TO TAKE THE CHANCE THAT HE BITES SOMEONE ELSE. HE IS WHAT I WOULD SAY "BI-POLAR"... I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HIM, ONE MINUTE HE'S FINE & THE OTHER HE SNAPS. LOUI CAN BE A SWEET DOG WHEN HE WANTS TO & GIVING HIM AWAY IS NOT AN OPTION, I JUST WANT TO FIND A SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM THAT WORKS OUT FOR ME & MY ROOMMATES. I ALREADY SPENT $450 IN TRAINING & THE TRAINER WAS CLEAR THAT HE CANNOT CHANGE HIS TEMPER 100%. THE TRAINER HELPED TO THE POINT THAT HE IS AT LEAST OBEYING ME TO A CERTAIN EXTENT & HE IS NOT BITING ME ANYMORE. I TRIED THE MUZZLE & IT MAKES HIM ANGRIER & HE HAS A HARD TIME BREATHING THROUGH IT. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW OF A GOOD WAY TO INTRODUCE NEW PEOPLE TO HIM WITHOUT RISKING ANYONES SAFETY & TO GET HIM USE TO THE TRANSITION OF HAVING NEW PEOPLE AROUND. I DO KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY HE IS CAPABLE OF GETTING USE TO SOMEONE, BUT HE ALWAYS HAS TO GET A GOOD SNIP AT THEM FIRST. BEING THAT WE LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT IS POPULAR ON LAW SUITES I DONT WANT TO TAKE ANY RISKS & END UP IN THE DOG HOUSE MYSELF. I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM ON MY HANDS & NEED ADVICE.

THANKS,
KATHY

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