Comments on: How To Handle Roommate Issues http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html Renters guide to solving problems, saving money, and living better. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:24:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Kaitlin http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-13653 Kaitlin Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:05:39 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-13653 I don't know what to do, and I can't live like this anymore. I live with my best friend and another friend I've known for a couple of years. Every couple of days I ALWAYS end up doing everyone else's dishes; they always say "Oh, I was about to do that," but I have a hard time believing it. My best friend is the worst culprit, and for TWO YEARS I have repeatedly asked her not to leave dishes in the sink all the time. Her responses? "I do not, and I'm mad that you think I do." "You really need to get help; it's not healthy to keep blowing up at small stuff." And, tonight, "I wish you would realize that some people have a life." Well, I have a life, too, and I don't appreciate spending 30 minutes of it every other day doing everyone else's dishes! How did this issue get turned to me? It's a small thing if I ask once or twice, but for TWO YEARS?!? That's not a small issue anymore. It takes two seconds in the morning to put a cereal bowl in the dishwasher, but they'll sit there for 2 or 3 days. This is actually starting to hurt our friendship. What the hell can I do?!? I don’t know what to do, and I can’t live like this anymore.

I live with my best friend and another friend I’ve known for a couple of years. Every couple of days I ALWAYS end up doing everyone else’s dishes; they always say “Oh, I was about to do that,” but I have a hard time believing it. My best friend is the worst culprit, and for TWO YEARS I have repeatedly asked her not to leave dishes in the sink all the time. Her responses? “I do not, and I’m mad that you think I do.” “You really need to get help; it’s not healthy to keep blowing up at small stuff.” And, tonight, “I wish you would realize that some people have a life.” Well, I have a life, too, and I don’t appreciate spending 30 minutes of it every other day doing everyone else’s dishes! How did this issue get turned to me? It’s a small thing if I ask once or twice, but for TWO YEARS?!? That’s not a small issue anymore. It takes two seconds in the morning to put a cereal bowl in the dishwasher, but they’ll sit there for 2 or 3 days. This is actually starting to hurt our friendship. What the hell can I do?!?

]]> By: Anonymous http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-13023 Anonymous Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:19:47 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-13023 My problem is I have tried to help a young person, who at first seemed mature. But, no is actim like I am her mom! She has stoped baying her room fee which is very low! She does not drive so I have been taking her to work early in the morning, when weather is bad. She has been only working twice a week for a mo. and she admitted she has been offered more hours but stated in front of me she is doing fine if some one else needs the time! I was to shoked to think of how to respond. I told her she could be helpful to keep house woork done but it to busy with her friends and hanging out at Church. I am most mad at myself because I do want to hewlp people but find myself upset when they take advantage! My problem is I have tried to help a young person, who at first seemed mature. But, no is actim like I am her mom! She has stoped baying her room fee which is very low! She does not drive so I have been taking her to work early in the morning, when weather is bad. She has been only working twice a week for a mo. and she admitted she has been offered more hours but stated in front of me she is doing fine if some one else needs the time! I was to shoked to think of how to respond. I told her she could be helpful to keep house woork done but it to busy with her friends and hanging out at Church. I am most mad at myself because I do want to hewlp people but find myself upset when they take advantage!

]]> By: DONE. http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10474 DONE. Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:15:10 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10474 ok. So my roommate and I have been friends for 5 years. We have been living in this apartment for 5 months, and we lived in a previous apartment for 6 months. Things were perfectly fine in the last apartment which is why we decided to move together again. The last apartment was destroyed by previous roommates before she moved in, and we both vowed to keep this one really clean. So when we moved into this one, we started cleaning once a week. Well that WE, turned into I in about a couple weeks ater move in. For the first three months living there, I deep cleaned that apartment once a week. I EVEN CLEANED THE ENTIRE PLACE ON MY BIRTHDAY WITH NO HELP. So, after leaving subtle hints for her to clean, and they still weren't recognized, I gave up. I rarely clean now because everytime I do, it just gets destroyed in a matter of a day or two. Now, I used to be a drug addict. I have been in recovery for 4 months now. She on the other hand, still does these things. When I told her of my quitting, at first she was supportive, but then she just started to not hang out with me anymore. And then once I had alot more going for me in my life besides just doing drugs, I got in a very healthy relationship, I got my GED, I'm going to be starting college this semester, etc. She doesn't talk to me anymore. And during me accomplishing my goals for myself, I never once made her feel bad about herself. I always gave her encouragement and tried to get her to go out with me and meet new people and to hang out with me and have fun etc. But now its gotten to the point where she does nothing but work and do drugs and drink and party. She also became my manager in the past 6 months because we also worked together for the past year. Ever since then she has talked down to me like I know nothing and she is much more of an adult with me, even though I handle all the bills, they are all in my name, I FOUND the apartment, talked to the landlord, made all the phone calls etc. And I ended up finding a better job with better pay and better hours and I quit that job that I worked at with her and now she pretty much just stopped talking to me period. She leaves all her paraphenalia around the house, I can't get anything I want done with the apartment because she sleeps until 5pm, and now we just recently let a coworker stay with us because we could use the extra help, and its worked out great, but he also does drugs. So finally a snapped and told her off saying to pick up her shit because I was done being her maid and that she has a cat too and to pick up the cat box because she has never once touched it, and just because she puts dishes in a dishwasher and seldomly takes out the trash doesnt mean that she puts in work around the place. And ever since then she's made my life a LIVING HELL. She will know when i work early and she will stay up until 5am partying blasting music and drinking, she invites my old manager WHO SHE STARTED DATING over when she knows I HATE HIM and he is loud and starts drinking and blasting music when I'm sleeping... And i'm stuck in a situation where the complex I live at doesn't know we have animals, I have nowhere to go where I can bring my animals, and its gotten to the point where I'm losing sleep and I talked to the manager of the complex and they said that someone else needs to sign on in my place, but the third person living here can't afford it and his credit is awful and they don't know hes living here. WTF do i do?? I'm at the end of my rope. ok. So my roommate and I have been friends for 5 years. We have been living in this apartment for 5 months, and we lived in a previous apartment for 6 months. Things were perfectly fine in the last apartment which is why we decided to move together again.
The last apartment was destroyed by previous roommates before she moved in, and we both vowed to keep this one really clean.

So when we moved into this one, we started cleaning once a week. Well that WE, turned into I in about a couple weeks ater move in. For the first three months living there, I deep cleaned that apartment once a week. I EVEN CLEANED THE ENTIRE PLACE ON MY BIRTHDAY WITH NO HELP.

So, after leaving subtle hints for her to clean, and they still weren’t recognized, I gave up.
I rarely clean now because everytime I do, it just gets destroyed in a matter of a day or two.
Now, I used to be a drug addict. I have been in recovery for 4 months now. She on the other hand, still does these things. When I told her of my quitting, at first she was supportive, but then she just started to not hang out with me anymore. And then once I had alot more going for me in my life besides just doing drugs, I got in a very healthy relationship, I got my GED, I’m going to be starting college this semester, etc. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. And during me accomplishing my goals for myself, I never once made her feel bad about herself. I always gave her encouragement and tried to get her to go out with me and meet new people and to hang out with me and have fun etc.

But now its gotten to the point where she does nothing but work and do drugs and drink and party. She also became my manager in the past 6 months because we also worked together for the past year. Ever since then she has talked down to me like I know nothing and she is much more of an adult with me, even though I handle all the bills, they are all in my name, I FOUND the apartment, talked to the landlord, made all the phone calls etc. And I ended up finding a better job with better pay and better hours and I quit that job that I worked at with her and now she pretty much just stopped talking to me period.
She leaves all her paraphenalia around the house, I can’t get anything I want done with the apartment because she sleeps until 5pm, and now we just recently let a coworker stay with us because we could use the extra help, and its worked out great, but he also does drugs.
So finally a snapped and told her off saying to pick up her shit because I was done being her maid and that she has a cat too and to pick up the cat box because she has never once touched it, and just because she puts dishes in a dishwasher and seldomly takes out the trash doesnt mean that she puts in work around the place. And ever since then she’s made my life a LIVING HELL. She will know when i work early and she will stay up until 5am partying blasting music and drinking, she invites my old manager WHO SHE STARTED DATING over when she knows I HATE HIM and he is loud and starts drinking and blasting music when I’m sleeping… And i’m stuck in a situation where the complex I live at doesn’t know we have animals, I have nowhere to go where I can bring my animals, and its gotten to the point where I’m losing sleep and I talked to the manager of the complex and they said that someone else needs to sign on in my place, but the third person living here can’t afford it and his credit is awful and they don’t know hes living here. WTF do i do?? I’m at the end of my rope.

]]> By: Anonymous http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10250 Anonymous Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:09:29 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10250 I recently moved to oregon from alaska and the landlord tenant/roomate laws are different here. I have recently just got a bad roomate out of my apartment and got the locks changed. He lived her for about 5 months not paying his half of the rent and I had to pay all the bills, I have proof and reciepts of this. My question is, when he left he left behind some of his belongings, do I have a right to hold them for unpaid past rent or until he pays up on what he owes for the unpaid past rent? I recently moved to oregon from alaska and the landlord tenant/roomate laws are different here. I have recently just got a bad roomate out of my apartment and got the locks changed. He lived her for about 5 months not paying his half of the rent and I had to pay all the bills, I have proof and reciepts of this. My question is, when he left he left behind some of his belongings, do I have a right to hold them for unpaid past rent or until he pays up on what he owes for the unpaid past rent?

]]> By: Anonymous http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10249 Anonymous Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:08:03 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10249 I rec ently moved to oregon from alaska and the landlord tenant/roomate laws are different here. I have recently just got a bad roomate out of my apartment and got the locks changed. He lived her for about 5 months not paying his half of the rent and I had to pay all the bills, I have proof and reciepts of this. My question is, when he left he left behind some of his belongings, do I have a right to hold them for unpaid past rent or until he pays up on what he owes for the unpaid past rent? I rec ently moved to oregon from alaska and the landlord tenant/roomate laws are different here. I have recently just got a bad roomate out of my apartment and got the locks changed. He lived her for about 5 months not paying his half of the rent and I had to pay all the bills, I have proof and reciepts of this. My question is, when he left he left behind some of his belongings, do I have a right to hold them for unpaid past rent or until he pays up on what he owes for the unpaid past rent?

]]> By: Anonymous http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10113 Anonymous Fri, 15 May 2009 20:53:57 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10113 My roommate is threatening me. She has posted on a public internet site inviting people to our apartment to “join in on an ass beating.” She has sent me text messages saying that if I try to leave “I’ll regret it.” She has also threatened me in person numerous times with her friends in the apartment. I do not know what to do. I let things go too far without saying anything. When she put a bag of garbage on my bed because I left a gum wrapper in the living room I didn’t say anything… when her brother moved in for two weeks I didn’t say anything… but this I can’t handle. I offered to move out and have someone sublet or for both of us to move out and allow any of the 4 couples interested in the apartment to move in. She has refused both. I explained the situation to my landlord who, understandably, claims that it is not his problem to deal with. We are both on the lease and if I move out and continue to pay I feel like I’m just letting her win. Is there anything that I can do? My roommate is threatening me. She has posted on a public internet site inviting people to our apartment to “join in on an ass beating.” She has sent me text messages saying that if I try to leave “I’ll regret it.” She has also threatened me in person numerous times with her friends in the apartment. I do not know what to do. I let things go too far without saying anything. When she put a bag of garbage on my bed because I left a gum wrapper in the living room I didn’t say anything… when her brother moved in for two weeks I didn’t say anything… but this I can’t handle. I offered to move out and have someone sublet or for both of us to move out and allow any of the 4 couples interested in the apartment to move in. She has refused both. I explained the situation to my landlord who, understandably, claims that it is not his problem to deal with. We are both on the lease and if I move out and continue to pay I feel like I’m just letting her win. Is there anything that I can do?

]]> By: Fed up. http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10007 Fed up. Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:40:32 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-10007 Right so this situation is a bit messy. Originally me and 2 of my friends were going to move in together and one of them invited another girl (who is 24 and 3 years older than us) to join our group. Me and the other friend did not know this girl as well but we were on friendly terms with her. anyways, my friend who invited her backed out of the living arrangement last minute and we were left to move in with this girl she had invited. We were to be moving into a 3-bed appartment, with one larger room one medium sized and a smaller one, but all with double beds. we signed the agreement in january and in june the girl came over to see me and my friend to pick rooms before we moved in in july. she suggested we picked numbers out of a hat and she picked 1st and drew the smallest room, my friend then drew the medium one and i was left with the largest. and as far as we were concerned it was done fairly and we left it at that. she comes over the next day and says that shes not happy with the way things were done because she thinks that it was unfair for her to get the smallest when 'she did all the work'...my friend didnt say anything as this girl can be quite overpowering and intimidating but i wasnt hearing any of it and told her that actually she we all had equal input and that it was done fairly and shes just upset she didnt get the largest room. she didnt like this and was persistant. she eventually left and we were left ot think about it and decided that actually she was just being a spoilt little rich girl who didnt get the largest room and that we were not going to give in. so we texted her telling her that we discussed it and we think it was done fairly and that we are willing to compromise by paying more towards the bills...she replied telling us to f*** off (more words were said). and we just left it. So....in september term started and were were not on speaking terms with her. she refused to pay the first bill but we eventually sorted that out and she paid her share (after parents got involved). then we were on talking terms for a couple of months. Then in january when we came back after christmas...things were a bit awkward and eventually it got back into a hostile living situation after she refused to pay the second bill. she said that we agreed that me and my friend whould pay more...after i reminded her that she told us to 'f*** off' she kept quiet and paid it. her arguements were that we use more electricity because our rooms are bigger...which is a fair arguement...but i hadnt been living there for 2 weeks and it was still willing to pay my 3rd of the electricity bill so she couldnt use that. anyway a few months later she started accusing us of taking her cutlery and using her shower gel. her cutlery i genuinely did not know what had happened to it but she could have easily lost it. I happened to know that my friend had been using her shower gel but she was really scared of this girl so i didnt want to rat her out. then one day she knocked on my door and accused me of breaking her kettle and i was genuinely surprised and i told her i didnt know anything about it and she gave attitude. my friend had told me that she accidently dropped a jar from the top shelf in the kitchen and that it had broken...i put two and two together as this shelf was on top of the kettle and realised that the jar mustve hit the kettle. so i suggested this to my friend and informed her of the kettle but she said that it was possible but that she didnt realise it had hit the kettle. she did not tell the girl out of fear and i didnt want to rat her out because i knew she was scared so i kept quiet. then me and my friend left for easter holidays and the girl was still in the flat...my friend went up there for a couple of days and informed me as soon as she got there that there was a massive burn on my sofa. she also said that this girl had turned the fridge off when she left and that everything was mouldy and that she had tried to clean it all out. I then went up a couple of days and was really annoyed about the sofa and the fridge because it seemed like it was done on purpose. i could see that things were going to get bitchy but decided to take the high road and left a note on her door which said, 'Jen, Becks had to clean the fridge out because you had switched it off, it still needs one more clean, if you could do this please. Also i saw the burn on my sofa, we will talk about it whe i get back, see you later!' And she sticks one on my door incredibly bitchy saying, 'i didnt switch the fridge off...why would i seeing as most of the food in there was mine. uve got no right to ask me to clean the fridge seeing as u didnt do ne cleaning the whole of last term. and then she says i had nothing to do with the burn on ure sofa...in ure own words "if u want to talk to someone talk to ureself' The problem is that i really think shes trying to get a reaction from me and im trying so hard to take the high road and control my anger. she definitely switched the fridge off because she was the only one in the flat...but the switch for it says freezer, so she might have thought it would just switch the freezer off (and none of her things are in the freezer, just mine and my friends). secondly i have ocd and i do ALL the cleaning...she cleaned the bathroom once with make-up wipes!...and again she was the only one who was in the flat to be able to burn the sofa and i think she did it in retaliaiton to her kettle, which i had nothing to do with. I have exams coming up and this situation is causing me a lot of frustration and stress. i dont understand how a 24 year old can act like such a child. Anyway, i am going back to the flat next week and was wondering how i should deal with the situation. (ie: the burn on the sofa her accusations of not cleaning and the fridge). i feel like showing my anger will give her satisfaction? i really don't know what to do...but i feel like i should say something so she doesnt think she can get away with it? HELP! Right so this situation is a bit messy. Originally me and 2 of my friends were going to move in together and one of them invited another girl (who is 24 and 3 years older than us) to join our group. Me and the other friend did not know this girl as well but we were on friendly terms with her. anyways, my friend who invited her backed out of the living arrangement last minute and we were left to move in with this girl she had invited. We were to be moving into a 3-bed appartment, with one larger room one medium sized and a smaller one, but all with double beds. we signed the agreement in january and in june the girl came over to see me and my friend to pick rooms before we moved in in july. she suggested we picked numbers out of a hat and she picked 1st and drew the smallest room, my friend then drew the medium one and i was left with the largest. and as far as we were concerned it was done fairly and we left it at that. she comes over the next day and says that shes not happy with the way things were done because she thinks that it was unfair for her to get the smallest when ’she did all the work’…my friend didnt say anything as this girl can be quite overpowering and intimidating but i wasnt hearing any of it and told her that actually she we all had equal input and that it was done fairly and shes just upset she didnt get the largest room. she didnt like this and was persistant. she eventually left and we were left ot think about it and decided that actually she was just being a spoilt little rich girl who didnt get the largest room and that we were not going to give in.
so we texted her telling her that we discussed it and we think it was done fairly and that we are willing to compromise by paying more towards the bills…she replied telling us to f*** off (more words were said). and we just left it.
So….in september term started and were were not on speaking terms with her. she refused to pay the first bill but we eventually sorted that out and she paid her share (after parents got involved).
then we were on talking terms for a couple of months.
Then in january when we came back after christmas…things were a bit awkward and eventually it got back into a hostile living situation after she refused to pay the second bill. she said that we agreed that me and my friend whould pay more…after i reminded her that she told us to ‘f*** off’ she kept quiet and paid it. her arguements were that we use more electricity because our rooms are bigger…which is a fair arguement…but i hadnt been living there for 2 weeks and it was still willing to pay my 3rd of the electricity bill so she couldnt use that.
anyway a few months later she started accusing us of taking her cutlery and using her shower gel. her cutlery i genuinely did not know what had happened to it but she could have easily lost it. I happened to know that my friend had been using her shower gel but she was really scared of this girl so i didnt want to rat her out. then one day she knocked on my door and accused me of breaking her kettle and i was genuinely surprised and i told her i didnt know anything about it and she gave attitude. my friend had told me that she accidently dropped a jar from the top shelf in the kitchen and that it had broken…i put two and two together as this shelf was on top of the kettle and realised that the jar mustve hit the kettle. so i suggested this to my friend and informed her of the kettle but she said that it was possible but that she didnt realise it had hit the kettle. she did not tell the girl out of fear and i didnt want to rat her out because i knew she was scared so i kept quiet.
then me and my friend left for easter holidays and the girl was still in the flat…my friend went up there for a couple of days and informed me as soon as she got there that there was a massive burn on my sofa. she also said that this girl had turned the fridge off when she left and that everything was mouldy and that she had tried to clean it all out.
I then went up a couple of days and was really annoyed about the sofa and the fridge because it seemed like it was done on purpose. i could see that things were going to get bitchy but decided to take the high road and left a note on her door which said,
‘Jen, Becks had to clean the fridge out because you had switched it off, it still needs one more clean, if you could do this please. Also i saw the burn on my sofa, we will talk about it whe i get back, see you later!’

And she sticks one on my door incredibly bitchy saying,
‘i didnt switch the fridge off…why would i seeing as most of the food in there was mine. uve got no right to ask me to clean the fridge seeing as u didnt do ne cleaning the whole of last term. and then she says i had nothing to do with the burn on ure sofa…in ure own words “if u want to talk to someone talk to ureself’

The problem is that i really think shes trying to get a reaction from me and im trying so hard to take the high road and control my anger. she definitely switched the fridge off because she was the only one in the flat…but the switch for it says freezer, so she might have thought it would just switch the freezer off (and none of her things are in the freezer, just mine and my friends). secondly i have ocd and i do ALL the cleaning…she cleaned the bathroom once with make-up wipes!…and again she was the only one who was in the flat to be able to burn the sofa and i think she did it in retaliaiton to her kettle, which i had nothing to do with.
I have exams coming up and this situation is causing me a lot of frustration and stress. i dont understand how a 24 year old can act like such a child.
Anyway, i am going back to the flat next week and was wondering how i should deal with the situation. (ie: the burn on the sofa her accusations of not cleaning and the fridge). i feel like showing my anger will give her satisfaction? i really don’t know what to do…but i feel like i should say something so she doesnt think she can get away with it?
HELP!

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-9824 Guest Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:50:02 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-9824 My roommate is threatening me. She has posted on a public internet site inviting people to our apartment to "join in on an ass beating." She has sent me text messages saying that if I try to leave "I'll regret it." She has also threatened me in person numerous times with her friends in the apartment. I do not know what to do. I let things go too far without saying anything. When she put a bag of garbage on my bed because I left a gum wrapper in the living room I didn't say anything... when her brother moved in for two weeks I didn't say anything... but this I can't handle. I offered to move out and have someone sublet or for both of us to move out and allow any of the 4 couples interested in the apartment to move in. She has refused both. I explained the situation to my landlord who, understandably, claims that it is not his problem to deal with. We are both on the lease and if I move out and continue to pay I feel like I'm just letting her win. Is there anything that I can do? My roommate is threatening me. She has posted on a public internet site inviting people to our apartment to “join in on an ass beating.” She has sent me text messages saying that if I try to leave “I’ll regret it.” She has also threatened me in person numerous times with her friends in the apartment. I do not know what to do. I let things go too far without saying anything. When she put a bag of garbage on my bed because I left a gum wrapper in the living room I didn’t say anything… when her brother moved in for two weeks I didn’t say anything… but this I can’t handle. I offered to move out and have someone sublet or for both of us to move out and allow any of the 4 couples interested in the apartment to move in. She has refused both. I explained the situation to my landlord who, understandably, claims that it is not his problem to deal with. We are both on the lease and if I move out and continue to pay I feel like I’m just letting her win. Is there anything that I can do?

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-9779 Guest Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:05:30 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-9779 My roommate is a physically disgusting 42-year old man. First of all, I know this seems like a stupid choice, but he's a grad student in my program, so it seemed like a good idea at the time... Anyway, he's acting creepier and creepier. He provokes me by kicking my butt or scaring me from behind the corner... if I don't repond, then hey, I just got my ass kicked. If I try to get revenge, he starts a "play fight", but his objective is to touch me. Recently he was holding me, and as I was trying to break free, he jumped on my lap and injured my knee. I confronted him about it the next day, but instead of apologizing he turned into a total jerk, and now he's not talking to me and I can basically feel his anger hovering all around our apartment. I'm too stressed out to cook meals, etc. All my male friends say it's my fault because I should've stopped him earlier and shouldn't have responded to his provocations. Why is it always the girl's fault!? :( My roommate is a physically disgusting 42-year old man. First of all, I know this seems like a stupid choice, but he’s a grad student in my program, so it seemed like a good idea at the time… Anyway, he’s acting creepier and creepier. He provokes me by kicking my butt or scaring me from behind the corner… if I don’t repond, then hey, I just got my ass kicked. If I try to get revenge, he starts a “play fight”, but his objective is to touch me. Recently he was holding me, and as I was trying to break free, he jumped on my lap and injured my knee. I confronted him about it the next day, but instead of apologizing he turned into a total jerk, and now he’s not talking to me and I can basically feel his anger hovering all around our apartment. I’m too stressed out to cook meals, etc. All my male friends say it’s my fault because I should’ve stopped him earlier and shouldn’t have responded to his provocations. Why is it always the girl’s fault!? :(

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6419 Guest Sat, 17 Jan 2009 21:04:10 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6419 Roommate works from home.Help! I live with 3 roommates, one of whom has decided to take up working from home. The rest of us are in school and are gone every day for most of the day. I live in Northern California, (San Francisco) which means that it never gets below 50 degrees, yet somehow our gas bill for last month was almost $200. This can be directly contributed to the fact that the roommate works all day long in the coldest room in the house, and so he turns up the heat while the rest of us are gone. It is out of line to request that he pay more of the utilities? Roommate works from home.Help!
I live with 3 roommates, one of whom has decided to take up working from home. The rest of us are in school and are gone every day for most of the day. I live in Northern California, (San Francisco) which means that it never gets below 50 degrees, yet somehow our gas bill for last month was almost $200. This can be directly contributed to the fact that the roommate works all day long in the coldest room in the house, and so he turns up the heat while the rest of us are gone. It is out of line to request that he pay more of the utilities?

]]> By: Anonymous http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6420 Anonymous Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:04:20 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6420 Roommate DoesNt Wanna Pay Rent I am on a year lease with this roommate, things were going good for the first three months, we split the bills and half and hardly have any problems with it. On the fourth month,my boyfriend wanted to move in with us. My roommate was okay with it, so I assumed that the rent will still be split in half (since we only have two rooms) and the utilities (which are all under my name) will be split into three. Payment time comes, I gave him my computations (I have been doing the calculations since day one, btw) with the rent split to 2 and utilities in 3. My roommate did not agree with it, he said that everything should be split into three even if the other person (my BF) does not have his own room. My roommate was reasoning out that he still uses space. I did not like his reasoning, talked to him explaining that me and my boyfriend are sharing the room and he has his own room, so in the end he still has more space than us. But he still doesnt want it my way, and offered me to just give him a $100 off his rent, utilities split into 3. I did not think this was fair so we decided not to let my boyfriend move in with us. My roommate and I split the rent in half, but i split the utilities into three since my boyfriend stayed in our place for awhile. So my boyfriend moved back to his parents house and would give me a visit once in a while, since he lives far, when he stays in my apartment he will stay for a week and just go back and forth. After this arguement about my boyfirend moving in with us which has never happened, everything just changed. I took my computer from the living room to my bedroom so my roommate will not use it and i pay the internet on my own. My roommate still has his cable box, since that is his only way of entertainment in the apartment, and as i said all the utilities are under my name. Now he refuses to pay his cable bill, then he refuses to pay electricity bill, and everything else. He was stating that my BF that visits me also consumes utilities and uses the apartment as well. I didnt think it was fair for me to pay everything and yet my roommate still lives there, its sort of making him live for free. I asked him that if he wants he can give me his own calculations of what he thinks he has to pay, but he just said he is not paying for any of it. Now, we are near our eviction process. I have paid all utilities except for rent, because I think he has responsibilities with it too since his name is on the lease. I have been cooperating with the manager and told her that I am willing to pay, but I think I also need my roomates share of the rent. he caused me trouble, now instead of paying just the month's rent ($1070), we have to pay for the termination fee ($1500) and the attorney for eviction ($600). Plus my good credit will be at stake, all because of him not telling me what his real reason for not wanting to pay the share of his rent. Please give me some advice. Our apartment manager advised me to just sue my roommate when the eviction process starts, but I have no idea on how this works. I couldn't really talk to my roommate--every chance I could he would just ignore me. He is not cooperating with the manager as well. Any advice would really help. I dont want my credit to be ruined because of him and I dont want to have bad records in blacklisted tenants. Roommate DoesNt Wanna Pay Rent

I am on a year lease with this roommate, things were going good for the first three months, we split the bills and half and hardly have any problems with it.

On the fourth month,my boyfriend wanted to move in with us. My roommate was okay with it, so I assumed that the rent will still be split in half (since we only have two rooms) and the utilities (which are all under my name) will be split into three.

Payment time comes, I gave him my computations (I have been doing the calculations since day one, btw) with the rent split to 2 and utilities in 3. My roommate did not agree with it, he said that everything should be split into three even if the other person (my BF) does not have his own room. My roommate was reasoning out that he still uses space.
I did not like his reasoning, talked to him explaining that me and my boyfriend are sharing the room and he has his own room, so in the end he still has more space than us. But he still doesnt want it my way, and offered me to just give him a $100 off his rent, utilities split into 3. I did not think this was fair so we decided not to let my boyfriend move in with us. My roommate and I split the rent in half, but i split the utilities into three since my boyfriend stayed in our place for awhile.

So my boyfriend moved back to his parents house and would give me a visit once in a while, since he lives far, when he stays in my apartment he will stay for a week and just go back and forth.

After this arguement about my boyfirend moving in with us which has never happened, everything just changed. I took my computer from the living room to my bedroom so my roommate will not use it and i pay the internet on my own. My roommate still has his cable box, since that is his only way of entertainment in the apartment, and as i said all the utilities are under my name.

Now he refuses to pay his cable bill, then he refuses to pay electricity bill, and everything else. He was stating that my BF that visits me also consumes utilities and uses the apartment as well.

I didnt think it was fair for me to pay everything and yet my roommate still lives there, its sort of making him live for free. I asked him that if he wants he can give me his own calculations of what he thinks he has to pay, but he just said he is not paying for any of it.

Now, we are near our eviction process. I have paid all utilities except for rent, because I think he has responsibilities with it too since his name is on the lease. I have been cooperating with the manager and told her that I am willing to pay, but I think I also need my roomates share of the rent.

he caused me trouble, now instead of paying just the month’s rent ($1070), we have to pay for the termination fee ($1500) and the attorney for eviction ($600). Plus my good credit will be at stake, all because of him not telling me what his real reason for not wanting to pay the share of his rent.

Please give me some advice. Our apartment manager advised me to just sue my roommate when the eviction process starts, but I have no idea on how this works. I couldn’t really talk to my roommate–every chance I could he would just ignore me. He is not cooperating with the manager as well.

Any advice would really help. I dont want my credit to be ruined because of him and I dont want to have bad records in blacklisted tenants.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6423 Guest Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:55:42 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6423 I rent a house with two roommates. One male and one female. The male is LAZY and unemployeed. He manages to pay his share of the bills. But he sits around the house all day doing nothing except blogging and surfing the web. When we come home from work, he almost expects that one of us will cook dinner for him. I am fine with cooking IF during the day while he is here, he does a fair share of the chores. He wont even clean a bathroom, or remove clutter from the common areas of the house. HE IS LAZY! He is a close friend, and when I discuss the issue, he gets defensive and claims that he does more that his share. I ask for examples, and he has ZERO! It's like pulling teeth to get him to turn off a light, or close the bathroom door when he is using it. Is he THAT lazy that he cant close a stupid door??? How freaking lazy can a person be? But my all time favorite is that he wont refill the toilet paper when he uses the last of it. SERIOUSLY? Are you that fu@#ing lazy? WTF? Turn the lights off when you leave a room. Close a bathroom door when you are using it. Put the fu@#ing seat down when done. Cook a meal from time to time. Clean 1/3 of the house. Refill the TP when you finish it! Show that you actually respect the friends that you are living with! I am SO sick of his lazy defensive attitude! DO SOMETHING!! Thanks for listening, Angry I rent a house with two roommates. One male and one female. The male is LAZY and unemployeed. He manages to pay his share of the bills. But he sits around the house all day doing nothing except blogging and surfing the web. When we come home from work, he almost expects that one of us will cook dinner for him. I am fine with cooking IF during the day while he is here, he does a fair share of the chores.
He wont even clean a bathroom, or remove clutter from the common areas of the house. HE IS LAZY! He is a close friend, and when I discuss the issue, he gets defensive and claims that he does more that his share. I ask for examples, and he has ZERO! It’s like pulling teeth to get him to turn off a light, or close the bathroom door when he is using it. Is he THAT lazy that he cant close a stupid door??? How freaking lazy can a person be? But my all time favorite is that he wont refill the toilet paper when he uses the last of it. SERIOUSLY? Are you that fu@#ing lazy? WTF?

Turn the lights off when you leave a room.
Close a bathroom door when you are using it.
Put the fu@#ing seat down when done.
Cook a meal from time to time.
Clean 1/3 of the house.
Refill the TP when you finish it!
Show that you actually respect the friends that you are living with!

I am SO sick of his lazy defensive attitude!

DO SOMETHING!!

Thanks for listening,
Angry

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6422 Guest Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:08:08 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6422 That's a creepy roommate! You can totally use this as an excuse not to lend him your computer anymore. Why be nice when he's reading your e-mails? Best of luck... I hope everything works out well for you. That’s a creepy roommate!
You can totally use this as an excuse not to lend him your computer anymore. Why be nice when he’s reading your e-mails? Best of luck… I hope everything works out well for you.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6421 Guest Thu, 08 Jan 2009 06:26:31 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6421 Computer's are like toothbrushes, very personal. Libraries and Kinko's have computer's, uninvite your roommate to use your computer. Change all of your passwords. Computer’s are like toothbrushes, very personal. Libraries and Kinko’s have computer’s, uninvite your roommate to use your computer. Change all of your passwords.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6424 Guest Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:30:57 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6424 My roommate is a Korean exchange student who sleeps at odd hours of the day and has her boyfriend over ALL THE TIME. She and her boyfriend sleep thought odd times of the day and stay up all night or have sex when I am trying to sleep or decide to giggle and makeout at 5a.m. when I am needing to wake up in a couple hours. I only get about 3 hours of sleep each night because of their persistent disruptions. I don't know how to confront her because she never talks to me anyway and is NEVER alone. And she also keeps rodents of some type under her bed which is not allowed in the dorm. So the few hours they are not making sleep impossible for me, her rodents are! My roommate is a Korean exchange student who sleeps at odd hours of the day and has her boyfriend over ALL THE TIME. She and her boyfriend sleep thought odd times of the day and stay up all night or have sex when I am trying to sleep or decide to giggle and makeout at 5a.m. when I am needing to wake up in a couple hours. I only get about 3 hours of sleep each night because of their persistent disruptions. I don’t know how to confront her because she never talks to me anyway and is NEVER alone. And she also keeps rodents of some type under her bed which is not allowed in the dorm. So the few hours they are not making sleep impossible for me, her rodents are!

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6426 Guest Sat, 03 Jan 2009 01:40:21 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6426 My roommate had been living in our apartment for two years before I moved in. She thinks the place belongs to her because her name is on the lease and most of the furniture is hers. Her entire family invaded the place for Christmas and now I come back to discover that her mother is going to be living with us for an indefinite amount of time. They neither consulted with me nor offered to compensate me in any way. I'm sitting down to have a talk with her but is there any advice you could offer? I've never heard of this situation before - boyfriends coming into the apt, yes, but overbearing mothers, no. And this roommate is a 30-year-old woman too. My roommate had been living in our apartment for two years before I moved in. She thinks the place belongs to her because her name is on the lease and most of the furniture is hers. Her entire family invaded the place for Christmas and now I come back to discover that her mother is going to be living with us for an indefinite amount of time. They neither consulted with me nor offered to compensate me in any way. I’m sitting down to have a talk with her but is there any advice you could offer? I’ve never heard of this situation before - boyfriends coming into the apt, yes, but overbearing mothers, no. And this roommate is a 30-year-old woman too.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6425 Guest Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:01:52 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6425 Ouch, well you could invest in some passive ways to help, such as asking if you can cook for the two of you and keeping leftovers in the fridge for him, while also buying a can of lysol for every room in the house and spraying everything he's touched! lol, I'm not sure, its just hard for me to accept that people dont understand how freakin disgusting it is to not wash their hands. Ouch, well you could invest in some passive ways to help, such as asking if you can cook for the two of you and keeping leftovers in the fridge for him, while also buying a can of lysol for every room in the house and spraying everything he’s touched! lol, I’m not sure, its just hard for me to accept that people dont understand how freakin disgusting it is to not wash their hands.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6427 Guest Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:59:43 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6427 You need to lock your profile and create a guest one for him that doesn't have a password. THen make sure you log off each and every time you log in, making him incapable of going through your stuff. Maybe the password and separate accounts will clue him in on how much you value your privacy in a subtle way. You need to lock your profile and create a guest one for him that doesn’t have a password. THen make sure you log off each and every time you log in, making him incapable of going through your stuff. Maybe the password and separate accounts will clue him in on how much you value your privacy in a subtle way.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6430 Guest Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:58:20 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6430 Oh my goodness, I can't believe you let it go on that long. While her lifestyle is none of your concern, the blame rests on your shoulders as well for letting her live with you knowing almost nothing about her. Let her know that you have more responsibilities at school and work and you'll need the office back to study and work more than ever. Tell her that you need more space and that it is not working out, give her 30 days, and not one freaken minute more, or she'll walk all over you even MORE. At the end of 30 days, have an officer escort her off the premesis, the police have a program that allows you to call them for difficult move-out situations, use your resources. Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you let it go on that long. While her lifestyle is none of your concern, the blame rests on your shoulders as well for letting her live with you knowing almost nothing about her. Let her know that you have more responsibilities at school and work and you’ll need the office back to study and work more than ever. Tell her that you need more space and that it is not working out, give her 30 days, and not one freaken minute more, or she’ll walk all over you even MORE. At the end of 30 days, have an officer escort her off the premesis, the police have a program that allows you to call them for difficult move-out situations, use your resources.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6429 Guest Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:01:20 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6429 Hey there, My problem is that my roomate's computer wasn't working anymore so i lended him mine. He took the liberty of going through my emails, facebook and googling my exes....his excuse was.."i was curious about you". Meanwhile i am a girl and he is a male. I don't know what to do i feel violated. Any suggestions please ? Hey there,

My problem is that my roomate’s computer wasn’t working anymore so i lended him mine. He took the liberty of going through my emails, facebook and googling my exes….his excuse was..”i was curious about you”. Meanwhile i am a girl and he is a male. I don’t know what to do i feel violated. Any suggestions please ?

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6428 Guest Sat, 27 Dec 2008 09:13:57 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6428 I'm sooo angry at my roommate! He never washes his hands after going to the bathroom (opens the door forcefully while the toilet is still flushing :S )!!! Also - never cleans the bathroom, keeps his own room clean while messing up common areas, burns his food 50% of the time, filling the apartment with disgusting burnt egg smell (also never cleans out his food from stove burners), walks around the carpet in outdoor shoes even in the winter, stomps around and slams doors constantly. He is much older and hates being told what to do! (especially by a girl) If I try to even tell him about something small, he denies it and gets angry. He is such an arrogant selfish jerk but HE thinks he's wonderful! I have to live with him for another 7 months :( Does anyone have good anger management tips or other suggestions? I’m sooo angry at my roommate! He never washes his hands after going to the bathroom (opens the door forcefully while the toilet is still flushing :S )!!!

Also - never cleans the bathroom, keeps his own room clean while messing up common areas, burns his food 50% of the time, filling the apartment with disgusting burnt egg smell (also never cleans out his food from stove burners), walks around the carpet in outdoor shoes even in the winter, stomps around and slams doors constantly.

He is much older and hates being told what to do! (especially by a girl) If I try to even tell him about something small, he denies it and gets angry. He is such an arrogant selfish jerk but HE thinks he’s wonderful! I have to live with him for another 7 months :( Does anyone have good anger management tips or other suggestions?

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6434 Guest Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:49:51 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6434 I live with four other girls. Four of us have decided that we are not renewing our lease with our fifth roommate this next fall, and informed her the other day. We wanted to give her as much time as possible to find a new place to live (now she has 9 months), but now living with until the lease is up is going to be unbearable (I've already gotten 3 "notes" with various finger pointing and name calling). Any suggestions for turning this hostile situation into something a little nicer? The four of use definitely have different life styles than her, and we tried telling her in the best way we could (we're really not mean people). I think it's kind of a hopeless situation, but I'll take any advice I can get at this point. I live with four other girls. Four of us have decided that we are not renewing our lease with our fifth roommate this next fall, and informed her the other day. We wanted to give her as much time as possible to find a new place to live (now she has 9 months), but now living with until the lease is up is going to be unbearable (I’ve already gotten 3 “notes” with various finger pointing and name calling).

Any suggestions for turning this hostile situation into something a little nicer? The four of use definitely have different life styles than her, and we tried telling her in the best way we could (we’re really not mean people). I think it’s kind of a hopeless situation, but I’ll take any advice I can get at this point.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6433 Guest Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:35:50 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6433 I have a solution: Use paragraphs. I have a solution: Use paragraphs.

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6432 Guest Sun, 07 Dec 2008 23:12:37 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6432 Get yourself a roomate your age! Get yourself a roomate your age!

]]> By: Guest http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6431 Guest Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:11:48 +0000 http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/roommate-issues.html#comment-6431 Living with someone from China. He refuses to shower, wash his hands or clean anything. Garbage collects around where he sits. On top of that, he was infected by Hepatitis during the large epidemic in China several years back. We all have our vaccines but it is something to worry about. It was fine when he was confined to his room playing Warcraft for 20 hours a day but now he is in common areas. It's embarassing to have guests over. When confronted with the situation he gets rather angry and refuses to change. He responds to criticism and kind requests for hygiene by wanting to use physical violence in a sort of masculine brawl. The other roomates are tolerable of his actions surprisingly though they are never around nor have exceptional hygiene either. I am seeking a room change but before I do that, any last advice? Living with someone from China. He refuses to shower, wash his hands or clean anything. Garbage collects around where he sits. On top of that, he was infected by Hepatitis during the large epidemic in China several years back. We all have our vaccines but it is something to worry about. It was fine when he was confined to his room playing Warcraft for 20 hours a day but now he is in common areas. It’s embarassing to have guests over. When confronted with the situation he gets rather angry and refuses to change. He responds to criticism and kind requests for hygiene by wanting to use physical violence in a sort of masculine brawl. The other roomates are tolerable of his actions surprisingly though they are never around nor have exceptional hygiene either. I am seeking a room change but before I do that, any last advice?

]]>