How to Move Out After the Relationship Ends

in Roommates on by

No matter how hard you tried to make it work, the writing is on the wall. The relationship is over. As if dealing with the break up is not bad enough, dealing with the business of your contractual living arrangements could end up being the real nightmare. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston could make this exact situation comical to us in the movie The Break-Up. In real life, and even more when it involves you, for some reason it isn’t so funny.

Living together at one point sounded like a swell idea. You were paying for two apartments and probably spending so much time together, one apartment was often empty. I’m sure that the first argument for premarital cohabitation was the same one I used on my parents. “We would be saving so much money not just in rent but utilities, we are going to end up getting married anyway, I’d be living so much closer to work…blah, blah, blah” What a wonderful idea. I bet this is why how hard you tried to make it work included extra effort just to avoid the speech that you knew was coming. “I told you so. When I was your age, we never would have lived together before marriage….” You know the one.

In the ideal world, after the break up, one of you would want to get out of the apartment and lease free and clear, and one would want to stay. In this event, be honest with property management and see if they can rewrite or remove someone from the lease. Again, this is in the ideal world. How often does this really happen?

The best thing you can do is discuss what will happen if you break up before it happens when everything is wonderful. Come to an agreement what you may do, under worst case scenario, you know, just in case. When you are discussing moving in together why not discuss what happens if you break up? Wouldn’t you want to discuss this when you are willing to compromise with each other and not mad over whatever it was that led to a break up? Why not write it down? Just like your lease, get it in writing, not to just protect yourself, but your dear significant other, too.

If you didn’t discuss this prior to moving in together and things are getting ugly, do your best to come to a fair agreement. It is hard to fight a battle with no one fighting you. Remain calm about the situation. This does not mean give in to all demands by any stretch of the imagination. This just means getting worked up and seeking revenge is probably going to set you back more than help. If your roommate negotiates in this fashion, let him/her know you are more than willing to work together calmly and compromise. Write things down and cover your bases.

How can you compromise? If you want to vacate the apartment maybe you can do that if you find a new roommate in your place. Maybe you can pay a portion of your rent to help cover expenses for the remainder of the lease? Is it possible to live together, get along and respect each other? Can you both move out and sublet the apartment? Will the landlord allow the lease to be transferred to a smaller apartment for less rent if a new one year lease is signed by just one of you? If you break the lease, what is the penalty and can you pay it? Is there a negative reference for breaking the lease and paying the penalty? Is it less expensive to pay your half of the rent for the remainder of the lease? Be creative and think of what you both can do to come to an agreement.

Ending a relationship with a boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend or a co-worker can be very stressful. When you are living together it can be unbearable. The process of moving on is going to be as hard or as easy as you both decide to make it.

Have you negotiated a similar painful or (somewhat) pain-free situation? Share your stories and suggestions below–we’d love to hear them.

46 Responses to “How to Move Out After the Relationship Ends”

  1. June 02, 2008 at 7:05 am, Guest said:

    Hmmm yeah, been there done that. In my case, my ex and I were together for 4 years. We broke up because she couldn’t hold down a job so I had been trying to move for 6 months and made the mistake of letting her “stay” in my new apartment until she had enough money to move out. 6 months later, I was still fighting with her to leave and she wouldn’t, so I ended up getting a second job, working 65-70 hours a week and saving up money so that she and our dog could stay in the apartment I had picked out for ME while I had to find a new place to live. This might not work for everyone ESPECIALLY since I ended up in a bit of debt when I had to move out in a matter of months because we were fighting so bad AND what’s even worse, I ended up paying higher rent some place else because of it. I still haven’t completely bounced back from it all either. When I moved, she then transferred all the utilities in her name and refused to help me pay on the bills we had created together prior to my departure. That ended up costing me a whopping $1350 in addition to my new rent and new utilities. She and I don’t talk anymore – big surprise, although I tried to be civil at first and managed to get a few hundred dollars of my money back from her. I should have just let her figure it out where she was going to live on her own when things went sour, but that was my fault for trying to be a good person because I cared about her. Now I know better.

    Reply

  2. June 03, 2008 at 5:24 am, Guest said:

    One of my friends breaks up with his wife but they don’t divorce yet and still stay in the same house as they want their 2 kids to have both daddy and mummy. I think this is really weird but good for the kids

    Anyway, check out this link, i find they are cool :D

    juicemag.co.uk/20-creative-but-very-romantic-ways-to-propose
    Top Creative Ways to propose

    Reply

  3. June 04, 2008 at 5:16 am, Guest said:

    Above guest: Yeah man, you’re an idiot. No offense, but don’t ever let a woman who doesn’t care for you rule you financially like that.

    Reply

  4. June 05, 2008 at 9:50 am, Guest said:

    My boyfriend decided he wanted to break up with me and move out 4 months into a year lease. We were splitting the rent and he was paying for most of the utilities. When he moved out, he told me that he would pay me my half of the security deposit, which we would likely lose for breaking the lease. I thought that was fair. I asked him to be patient (as I was working full time and busy with school), give me 2 months to move out or find a roommate. He agreed, and then he promptly went to the management company and tried to get off of the lease! He sent me an email telling me that his attorney didn’t think it was a good idea to still be in a joint legal agreement with me since we had broken up. Well…

    That made me mad! He was trying to screw me over! So I told him that he should keep his attorney because he’d need him in small claims court when I take him there to have the lease enforced.

    I’d get his half of the rent for the remainder of the lease, and a chunk for anguish, too.

    Instead of working it out amicably — which we were originally both willing to do — he tried to screw me. So I decided to be inflexible. Back when we were pookies, he signed a lease and was LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE to pay half of the rent for the next 8 months. His attorney couldn’t do a thing for him.

    Yes, in the end, he paid half of my rent for 8 months until the lease was up. Then I moved into a one-bedroom apartment and paid my own way.

    I will never live with anyone again, until I’m married. I would advise against others living with their significant others, too.

    Reply

  5. June 07, 2008 at 12:46 am, Guest said:

    Wow, I’d bet if you decided to leave you would pay half for him to live there with out you?

    Reply

  6. June 07, 2008 at 3:10 pm, Guest said:

    Breaking up is DIFFICULT and never as “easy” as this article. This article wasn’t exactly what I would even call helpful.

    My soon-to-be-husband (we were living together 4 years) ran off with a 17 year old and impregnated her. Thankfully we only had a month and a half left on our lease. He claimed he had no where to go so I let him stay in the townhome while I stayed at my Moms. I paid 1/2 the rent and 1/2 the bills. I ended up having to ask the company of the townhome to split our rent evenly because he wasn’t paying ANYTHING towards the bills. Thankfully they split the rent, and if he didn’t pay it didn’t hurt my credit- only his.

    He left me with all the bills, besides rent, in the end. He took what he wanted from the townhome when he moved out and left me his junk that he didn’t want. No cleaning, no nothing.

    I wish more companies for apartments, houses, etc. could split rent evenly and even bills so people aren’t left in the same situation that I was in. It’s very unfair when someone leaves and you get stuck with all the bills because you don’t want to hurt your credit.

    Reply

  7. June 10, 2008 at 5:36 pm, Guest said:

    That is weird. My ex boyfriend’s extended family is like that. The father is gay and carries out relationships with boys – even had one with one of his nephews I think, so those families are never seen at the same family functions. The mother is suffering from depression and most of their kids are old enough to where happiness isn’t merely their parents being together. Yet..the parents do it for the kids.

    I think it’s just weird and depressing.

    Reply

  8. June 25, 2008 at 7:56 am, Guest said:

    This doesnt just happen with significant others… it happens with plain old roommates. My old roommate and I had been friends for years and we decided to get an apartment together since we both attended the same college in Michigan. One night while I was at work, she had a party that ended up getting busted (underaged drinking, etc). The apartment complex wasn’t happy, nor was I. I tried to tell her I was moving out. Left her messages and Notes (we didnt see eachother much due to school and work). I had contacted the apartment complex 45 days prior to moving out and broke my lease legally with all the paperwork and what not (not to mention the money), and went to turn in my keys and they said everything was all hunkey dorey so I moved out and left for Florida. That night I got a call from my old roommate asking me where everything went (the dining set that was mine along with some of the kitchenware, I was nice enough to leave livingroom furniture). She got a hold of the apartment complex and they called me saying I broke my lease illegally because I had a roommate and I couldnt just leave by myself, even though they knew of the situation the ENTIRE time and I had informed them that she was staying. I ended up paying for 3 more months of time that she was there and I wasnt along with a move out fee for her since she decided to move in with her boyfriend ON TOP of the extra rent and move out fee I already had to pay while trying to pay for rent and utilities here in Florida…

    Its not just loved ones that screw you over

    Reply

  9. June 30, 2008 at 3:41 pm, Guest said:

    The article and some people mention about how they shouldn’t have lived together before getting married, but I have news: Marriages go sour just like dating relationships, only you have alot more than your lease to sort out.

    Having been there, done that, I wholeheartedly recommend that any couple that plan on getting married someday, live together first! That way you can really find out how compatible you are, before tying the legal knot. Moving out might be messy, but moving out and getting a divorce is messier!

    Reply

  10. July 03, 2008 at 4:54 pm, Guest said:

    Strangly enough people who live together before marriage have a 25% higher rate of divorce.Something to think about.

    Reply

  11. July 07, 2008 at 10:09 am, Guest said:

    IMO, I think the couple/roommates/whoever live together SHOULD pay the split rent in the apartment. If my boyfriend leaves, then I don’t have to pay the WHOLE rent. I would prefer to pay MY half rent where I can live in. It is NOT my problem if my roommate or boyfriend left this apartment. I am not so paying the whole rent for his mistake.

    My roommate swore that she will stay in our apartment. We, both, signed a year lease. IN 3 weeks later, she dashed out of this apartment. SHe took her belongings with her and she didn’t take a kitty with her. I keep her and she is still with me (now she’s 10). I was like “WTF???” We didn’t have any problem or anything. I just discovered that she misses her lover and want go back with her. *Groan* I have made sure that she would STAY or not. But she /failed. I had to pay the whole rent. I had a couple of different roommates to move in/out through the year. Until the lease’s up, I decided to grab a tiniest apartment unit to live by myself where I can afford it and I hated it!

    I think The leasing law should do something about it! The leasing law should change and agree to have EVERY tenant to pay. Evenhought that tenant moved out and her/his name is still on the lease. He or She has to pay the half in NO MATTER WHAT!

    Reply

  12. July 07, 2008 at 6:14 pm, Guest said:

    Have situation where boyfriend has decided he no longer wishes to work on relationship and neither of us can afford lease on our own, and breaking it is $3,000 (which neither of us can afford right now either). We have 7 more months before lease and this is very tough. We are civil now, but who knows in another few months. Option to move to another apartment within complex is not possible as very small place for what the $$$. Any suggestions?

    Reply

  13. July 07, 2008 at 6:33 pm, Guest said:

    I definitely agree with the article that making an agreement about moving out BEFORE moving in is huge! The reasons that a couple has problems initially are the reasons that the couple will break up in the end. There were always trust issues in my relationship with my boyfriend, from the very beginning. Not hearing my phone meant screening my calls, not catering to him when he was sick meant I didn’t care, wanting to go out (with him, mind you) meant that I wasn’t happy with him. The funny thing is that these things didn’t stop him from moving across the country with me. 5 months into a 6 month lease, we re-signed for another 6 months and two weeks later, before we even started the new lease, he broke up with me… Had we talked about these things before, we wouldn’t have made each other miserable for months because we would have written down that the person doing the leaving would either a) pay their half or b) find a suitable replacement.

    Reply

  14. July 08, 2008 at 9:52 am, Guest said:

    The point you are missing here is that they BOTH signed a LEGAL document. It is irrelevant WHO decided to leave, the legal fact is that once you sign the lease you are responsible for the rent and the condition of the apartment. If she left him she would be just as liable as he was. If you dont understand that before you rent then you have no business signing anything. Some people seem to be under the mistaken impression that Leases on apartments are not legal or binding. The fact is that its no different then buying a car or a house, except that if you dont honor your obligation there is no collateral like if you dont make your car payment, they send the re-po man. If you break your lease or abandon, they require you to pay a fee or the rest of the lease…. If you abandon your room mate you are still required by law to fulfull your part agreement. So either be smart enough to READ before you sign,or dont rent an apartment with anyone. The reality is that tenants who abandon or break their leases dont have alegal leg to stand on. Tenants VERY rarely win cases where THEY dont fulfill their obligations. You cant blame this person for her roomie bailing on her…and if he had done the honorable thing from the beginning she wouldnt have had to force him to do what he is LEGALLY required to do in the first place.

    Reply

  15. July 10, 2008 at 8:05 pm, Guest said:

    My daughter just moved out of her apartment because her boyfriend was abusive and he told her to leave claiming it was his apt. They are both on the lease but he is bullieing her and telling her she can’t take her furniture. What legal recourse is there for getting the furniture.

    Reply

  16. July 13, 2008 at 8:44 pm, Guest said:

    I think it is absolutely necessary to live with the significant other if you are having any thoughts about a marriage with them. It is really sad when things don’t work out and it might get messy if the lease is not up yet but there is no denying that divorce is so much worse (and costly, especially if you are the man).

    I’d like to be an optimistic girl here but even if you do get married, there is no sure way of knowing that it’s forever. None of us know what the future holds but what makes us human is the amount of hope we have that the love in our life is THE ONE.

    I’ve been with a man for almost 5 years and we have just now decided to give the living-together a whirl.
    When it comes to love, you honestly can’t rush anything. Dating for a few months and then moving in=bad idea. Dating for a year and then getting married=worse idea. Just my humble opinion :)

    Reply

  17. August 28, 2008 at 3:52 pm, Guest said:

    Call the police, explain the situation, and go get the furniture.

    Reply

  18. September 09, 2008 at 12:13 pm, Guest said:

    I am with an abusive live in boyfriend of 5 years. Recently we broke up and i went and leased my own apt. Like a fool i let him back in my life and living in my apartment. He is not on the lease. I am scared that if i ask him to leave he will get violent and ruin my belongings. I work nights sometimes and he is there alone. How do i get him out and protect my belongings. The police are no help and do not like to get involved with domestic disputes. Please respond with advice.

    Reply

  19. September 22, 2008 at 8:32 pm, Guest said:

    That is only because people who are “liberal” enough to consider cohabitation before marriage are also proven to be more likely to consider divorce (a liberal choice). It has to do with lifestyle beliefs, not the actual act of living together.

    Reply

  20. October 05, 2008 at 9:03 am, Guest said:

    You are a real idiot arn’t you. Real low life scum.
    To think someone can leave and stick the other person with the bills.

    Reply

  21. October 31, 2008 at 11:03 am, Guest said:

    Unfortunately, we live in a throw away society. When we don’t like something or we feel the slightest bit upset we move on. I know that is a whole other topic, but I can’t help but see that living together before marriage is something that people should do in order to know if it is right. It takes alot out of discovering together after you have made the committment to be married. COMMITTMENT is something people do not know how to do. And I am not talking about abusive relationships, (domestic violence, etc.) in those cases you should leave immediately and seek help. I think that living together brings on a whole new set of issues that were not there say 50 years ago. Courts are crowded with cases of people battling each other along with the people who are married battling each other. We are just so unsure of the human ability to committ that we don’t practice it anymore. We spend so much time making sure that it is right. So instead of living and working toward a mutual committment people are spending energy policing the relationship for any infractions made by the other person. “Let’s live together so we can make sure of our relationship” I just think it feeds into the whole throw it away if we don’t like it. Which in turn creates all kinds of other issues. Live on your own while you date. And if you make the committment to be married, as long as the other person is not abusive, then work at it!

    Reply

  22. November 26, 2008 at 3:44 am, Guest said:

    who pays my ex.husbonds bills him or me

    Reply

  23. November 26, 2008 at 3:55 am, Guest said:

    he thro me out at 230 in the mornig with no shoes no coat in the rain and now ive got the house back he never paid the rent or the c.tax witch is half in his name and refuses to pay his half of the areas and refuses to pay for his chidrun what can i do

    Reply

  24. November 26, 2008 at 4:00 am, Guest said:

    he thro me out at 230 in the mornig with no shoes no coat in the rain and now ive got the house back he never paid the rent or the c.tax witch is half in his name and refuses to pay his half of the areas and refuses to pay for his chidrun what can i do

    Reply

  25. December 14, 2008 at 9:35 am, Guest said:

    My brother let a female friend co-sign a rental agreement so that she could have a legal place of residence in order to get custody of her child. My mother gave my brother lots of furniture, etc. to get started. The friend had almost nothing. My brother put all utilities in his name. No one knew that the friend had mental problems and she went to the county and got assistance with food,etc. and she managed to get her child back.
    My brother and she became friendly. One day she went nutty and called the police and said she was afraid for her life, restraing order was put in place and my brother went to stay at my mother’s house. My brother had told her that if she didn’t start helping around the house with cleaning,rent, etc., she would have to move out and that’s what set her off.
    A judge has now told my brother that he has to pay all the utilites, even though he is not living there, and has no intenion of returning. Is that legal?
    Also, she will not let anyone come in and get my brother’s property. She says it’s all hers and she can do what ever she wants and nothing can be done because she has a child and social services will back her up.
    Even though I am happy that after so many decades, women were treated as second class, the law now doesnt always side with the man, but in some cases, I think it has turned into a bat that women can use against a man. I just don’t know what, if any, legal rights my brother may have.
    No matter what he says….the law goes with the female friend.
    The landlord is an elderly lady that doesn’t know what to do. HELP

    Reply

  26. December 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm, Guest said:

    Yeah? Then maybe SHE should have been the one to get out.

    Reply

  27. January 02, 2009 at 10:03 am, Guest said:

    Making legal agreements (ex: lease) with significant others, best buds, or even close family members (a brother, sister sometimes even your own mother) may appear to be a great and wonderful idea when you are getting along and you just can’t see yourself living without that person. So, you want to do everything and anything to please that person. I made a HUGE mistake a year ago with a guy I was dating that I thought at the time (stupidity really) that he was the ONE. Again, stupid. Although everything can seem perfect when you’re in their arms, some of them can really screw you over when they’re pissed or just don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. I wasn’t even living with this guy, yet I got involved because I was on the lease. Long story short, this guy had a roommate and they were splitting the bills. However, I was there the day the lease was signed, and he wanted to “share” something with me and if I was on it, only I could request for a key and I had his rights, so it gave me sense of importance. I have no idea why I did it (not to mention hearing my mother call me an idiot). So he moved in September into the apt, and in December he decides he wants to go back to his ex. So we break up, don’t talk again. In February, I keep getting these phone calls from the apartment complex saying that he has been evicted, and hasn’t paid any of the bills and owes over $1000.00 in bills. I’m like whoa, look I have never even LIVED in the apartment. Yeah, they don’t care. Of course, because there is a legal agreement, I had to pay up. And still never talked to him again. Then I run into his roommate whom told me that this scum of a human had taken up his half of the rent, and when was evicted he kept the money.

    Moral of the story: Be very careful what you sign. And – never trust ANYONE. I thought I knew this guy and he became the worst guy I have ever encountered in my life, until this day. And he owes me A LOT of money.

    Reply

  28. March 29, 2009 at 8:55 pm, Guest said:

    I’m going through something similar myself. I need to get out of my current situation with my fiance. He’s never been physical with me, but the mental and emotional abuse is getting to be too much to take. I’ve started a savings account though and I’m looking for an apartment in secret. I hope I can get out soon…

    Reply

  29. July 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm, Guest said:

    I am in the same situation. I’m trying to save $ to get out. But we both signed a 2 year lease, and I cant afford to pay half the rent and rent somewhere else. How do you get out of it? Explain to the landlord that you’re broken up and hope he’s cool with letting you go and just forfeiting the deposit?

    Reply

  30. March 24, 2010 at 12:17 am, PRATIK PRIYADARSHI said:

    i came here for some advice to move on.but u all are just getting me the ideas of how to manage lease.thank god my gf dint live with me.bloody buggers…………

    Reply

  31. December 12, 2010 at 1:45 am, LorencoVed said:

    What do you think about WIKILEAKS?
    Hope for no silence

    Reply

  32. January 03, 2011 at 8:39 pm, Guest said:

    I am in this situation at the moment, well…actually, trying to figure out how, and when to break up… but it seems so much harder now that we share an apartment.

    I wish I would of thought twice before moving out, and moving in, with him;

    Reply

  33. April 27, 2011 at 11:48 am, CHristina said:

    I am in a situation right now, trying to decide how to handle it…..living with boyfriend, we had baby in Dec. By Jan I filed a restraining order which the judge dropped because bf said he learned a lesson and would go to counseling. I am miserable, he is a complete ahole that makes messes, doesnt do shit…lied about every single thing down to how many kids he has….we are broken up. I have 15 year old daughter and new baby,,,,he says he wont move out even thought he cant afford to keep the place himself. I found a new place but am scared of what will happen. Hes so mean he will probly not sign me off the lease just to be evil. Is there any way to get out of there since he wont move? I have called the landlord and she says if we both move we have to pay till it gets rented but if he wont move, then what?

    Reply

  34. September 06, 2011 at 6:41 pm, Debbie said:

    I am about to move out of my house. I live with my sons, 17 and 24, and my ex-boyfriend since March 2011. He thinks he might stay and if he does what happens to the deposit? Our lease is up and I think the managers wants to renew it. If I leave will I lose my deposit?

    Reply

  35. January 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm, In need lady said:

    I NEED HELP!!!! My boyfriend (soon to be ex) and I have been living together for 2 months and everything has gone to hell. To begin I should tell you that our lease is for 6 moths and started Dec. 1st @ $450/per month. We paid $1800 (900 each) up front to cover the sec. deposit and carry us through to March. This is where my questions start.. I want to keep the rental, I can afford it on my own, but he may be thinking the same thing. I’m wondering if there is a legal way I can approach my landlord to make a check to my ex for $900 (leaving me owing him at least $450 to cover January) and changing the lease to only my name, without involving my ex? I also need advise on if this is not possibly, how to prove that I should get the rental. I have saved any and all receipts spent on the place, such as furniture, decor, cleaning products, food, ext. I have also given him $200 towards bills (gas, elec, and cable) which I came to find out equaled $260, so I paid nearly all of it, but have nothing but my word to prove. On a side note, I also have done everything maintenance wise, and this may not matter, but all cleaning and installations. I have spent allot of money putting this house together and am very unwilling to give it up! Please tell me what I can do!

    Reply

  36. March 29, 2012 at 10:27 pm, PRIVATE said:

    ME AND MY WIFE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS AND OUR MARRIAGE IS DAMN NEAR DONE….EVERYTIME I TELL HER TO LEAVE SHE ALWAYS SAY IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE MY NAME IS ON THE LEASE TO SO THEN I SAY GIVE ME HALF ON ALL OF THE BILLA THEN AND SHE REPLIES IM NOT GIVING YOU NOTHING I AM AND HAS ALWAYS PAID ALL OF THE BILLS WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HER PUT OFF MY LEASE WITHOUT LOOSING MY PLACE AND OR GETTING A EVICTIN PUT ON MY NAME ??????????????I WANT HER GONE

    Reply

  37. April 02, 2012 at 12:55 pm, Neha said:

    Hi.. One of my friend (male) was in a live in relation for three years, but things were not working out so he decided to move on but the gal is not ready.. She has involved all her family, according to them live in relationship means marriage.. he is been fighting it for a year now.. she is threatening him to commit suicide or take him to court on grounds of physical and emotional exploitation.

    Please advice how can he get rid of her and is he legally bound to her?

    Reply

  38. May 01, 2012 at 11:57 pm, Dee said:

    I have a couple questions… So my bf and I have been living together at this apartment for a bit over a year. I paid the move-in costs first and last months rent plus the secure deposit all about $1590. It was a one year contract and we both signed the lease. That whole year he never once helped me with rent or utilities NOTHING he did pay a bill that was $70 dollars for 2 months and that was it, he has a hard time keeping jobs and a gambling problem so there’s that. Towards the end of the lease he got this “promising” job and started to act up saying I would have to move out because he didn’t want to be with me, I felt used and so I tried looking for another place. But by the time he was “deciding” wether he was goin to stay there or not it left me with no time to get papers signed credit checks and all that, deposits, blah blah, because I also want to keep this place and he did not tell me he was going to stay til it was too late. Plus I had no extra money because like I said I paid for everything… So the lease was done and the lard lord wanted to renew (he’s really nice) but he knows I’m the one that pays, not him, so I ended up signing another lease without my bf on it. My landlord knows he still stays with me. I told him I would help him get on his feet so he can move out. All the utilities are under my name. I asked for a 6mo lease this time though, I feel like he’s just sticking around to take it from me literally… He just got this new job (after 8 months of being unemployed) and now his talked about paying bills and helping me and gettin all this stuff for himself. But I dont want to help me because I feel he’ll try to get me to put him on the lease and at the end of course hell some how kick me out and keep this place. I feel like he is not entitled to it because he did nothing for about a year but live off of me. Could he add himself to the lease and then kick me out or something of that sort???? I worked so hard for this place, I’m a full time student and kept 2 to 3 jobs to have a place to live. Now he wants it because it’s HIS home he says…

    Reply

  39. August 02, 2012 at 12:40 pm, Shannon said:

    The best advice I can give anyone thinking about moving in together is to rent a place both of you can afford individually in the event there is a break up. I also recommend NOT giving up any of your personal belongings. For example, don’t sell your living room set and keep the other. Place what you aren’t bringing into the house/apt in storage for at least a year until you know you are both in this for the long haul. I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and sold my kitchen furniture, guest room furniture, washer and dryer. Now, unbenownst to him, I am moving out toward the end of the month. All I have left is my bedroom set and two TV’s. Luckily I moved into his home without a lease and no obligations to any utilities or mortgage.

    I agree with the posters above that say that even if there is a monetary loss now (before marriage) it is a heck of a lot cheaper to pay an ex-landlord over time than it is putting together a retainer for a divorce attorney.

    It’s a hard and expensive lesson to learn but there is a guarantee at the end that you will not make the same mistakes again.

    Good luck to you all.

    Reply

  40. August 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm, Matty said:

    Be a minimalist by every means, even when the relationship is solid and there’s no chance of a split. When a break does occur, it’s quite amazing how quickly and painlessly one can move his/her stuff in a single, methodical moment. I wanted to split from my girlfriend of 3 years, and she was simply NOT accepting it. I made it very clear to her that I’d been apartment searching, to which she shrugged off as “whatever.” When the time came and I landed new digs, I told her, she freaked. I waited until she was working because I wanted to avoid a meltdown at all costs (for those who think that’s ‘shady’ – it’s not. Breaking up is one of the most heart-wrenching events in the world). Anyway, I was the minimalist, and I swear I was packed and out the door in roughly 30-40 minutes.

    Last piece of advice — avoid joint utility accounts, or joint accounts in general, because they bind you financially after the dust settles. I co-signed for my girlfriend’s automobile and she’s going to be paying that off for a long time with my name attached to it, which keeps the lines of communication open. That’s never a good thing. TRUST me. But again, just be a minimalist! It’s a great lifestyle for making break-ups quick and painless.

    Reply

  41. November 09, 2012 at 10:54 am, NESSA said:

    IM IN THE SAME SITUATION HOW I CAN RENT ANOTHER APT I DNT WANT TO PAY UP THE LEASE SINCE I NO LONGER LIVE THERE I AM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER APT BUT THEY SAY MY NAME HAS TO BE REMOVED FROM THAT ONE FIRT AMH AM I STUCK IN THIS

    Reply

  42. June 01, 2013 at 12:05 pm, Ms. Davis said:

    Where do I start. In 1990 I started dating this Marine a year after separated from my husband. We never did divorce. In 1993 in moved in with me and we residing there for 17 years note we lived in the project. In 1995 we had a daughter and in 2005 I had a situation and I either had to move well anyway a few months prior to that he decided we should move from out there anyway as to I was scared because I weren’t sure. He promised me that we were gonna grow old together and it will be okay so I went. I was unemployed at the time as I was sick with uncontrollable high blood pressure and raising our daughter at the time we moved I had a daughter who was about to graduate and a son with Autism that was gonna graduate in 2 years..Well now he has done hooked up with a female Marine but didn’t tell me, he just told me he wanted to be by hisself for a while. Well February 10th rode around and he took all his things out the house and put them in storage in preparations of being deployed to Afghanistan February 13, 2013 and he keeps hinting about he’s not going to be able to afford paying for this place and his owns too..I need some advise on what can I do he has done stress me out so much that I am loosing a whole lot of weight and my blood pressure is skyrocketing as to I can’t get a job it’s mostly uncontrollable even while on medication and lots of it..

    Reply

  43. June 01, 2013 at 12:06 pm, Ms. Davis said:

    I forgot to mention that our rent lease is in his name and I’m just an occupant on it..

    Reply

  44. August 29, 2013 at 2:52 pm, sad says said:

    My boyfriend broke up with me and I had to leave the apartment. I moved out with my belongings before the end of the month. The lease is expiring in one more month. I signed something about living too in the appartment when I moved in but not the lease agreement. My ex-boyfriend wants me to pay half the rent until the lease expires. I have to pay to live somewhere else. I decided not to give him any money. Am I doing something wrong?

    Reply

  45. October 28, 2013 at 2:20 pm, Anonymous said:

    Thankfully my name was not on the lease of my current apartment, which i have been at for a little over 3 months now. It is brand new, beautiful, and i have slightly become attached-with one huge problem, my boyfriend who hates me. We have been together for 7 years, SEVEN which for a 23 year old is an eternity, however no matter what happens i knew we still could not handle this. He is beyond emotionally and verbally abusive, he hasn’t spoken to me in 6 days, and i can’t help but want to run back to my parents house. I missed out on becoming a happy individual, and all i wanted was to be happy with him. So, i do have some ideas of possibly saving and looking for my own apartment..but almost all of my belongings are there which we share, and i am absolutley terrified of the day i do pack up my things. I dont know how to do it

    Reply

  46. May 08, 2014 at 12:47 pm, sharon said:

    i have a question…my boyfriend and i just renewed our lease for another year. Now because he is angry with me, he wants to break the lease and move or so he said. i called the landlord who said he has no problem putting the lease in my name only so that i can continue to stay in the house. How do i get the soon to be ex to move out? is there any action i can take since his name will no longer be on the lease?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *