Roommate Problems: How to Deal with Messy Roommates

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Moldy dishes, dirty clothes, spoiled milk, mildewed shower tiles, bags of garbage (or, worse, garbage scattered all over the apartment), overflowing litter boxes, and a toothpaste-laden sink—living with a messy roommate can be a unique form of odorous, cluttered hell. Regardless of how you found your roommate—through the world wide web or through a friendship of ten years—you’ll probably need to address the issue of apartment cleanliness at some point in your rooming relationships. This article contains tips for dealing with a messy roommate in a constructive way. You might not be able to persuade a persistently untidy individual to help keep your apartment absolutely pristine, but you should be able to make your situation much more tolerable.

Get it out of the way

The most important aspect of confronting a cleanliness issue is timing. Try to voice your concerns about apartment-dominating mounds of clothes or stacks of dishes early on in your tenancy with a roommate. You might let a few misplaced articles or unwashed dishes go at first, but as soon as it becomes obvious that your roommate is a habitual mess-maker, you need to address the issue immediately. If you let it go for too long, your roommate’s messy habits will only become even more ingrained, the mold levels in your apartment will rise, and you’re liable to hurt yourself tripping over your roommate’s stuff when coming home late one night. Likewise, timing is important when you actually choose to address the issue. Make sure to do it at a time when you and your roommate will be able to talk for a good ten or fifteen minutes if necessary, in order to lay out some ground rules regarding keeping it clean.

Break the news gently

It’s tough to tell people you think their habits are disgusting. That’s why you shouldn’t tell your roommate you think his or her habits are disgusting. Be careful not to bring up the issue in an accusatory manner, by saying something like “I can’t believe you’re so messy. That’s gross,” or “Can you stop leaving your stupid crap all over the place?” You will only cause your roommate to resent you and perhaps become even messier (which you surely didn’t think possible!). Focus on attacking the problem, not your roommate. It’s very likely that your roomie has no idea that his or her habits are potentially disturbing to you. So, rather than blaming the mess on your roommate, concentrate on finding ways to address the specific problems that bother you. Proposing a solution rather than merely pointing out the problem is likely to get you better results. Clarifying that “It annoys me when there are lots of dirty dishes on the counter. I try to do my dishes the same day I use them,” and asking your roomie, “Do you think you can do the same?” gives your roommate a built-in way to address the issue. If your roommate agrees to shape up, consider this a good first step. Maybe the dishes will actually get done. Sometimes notification that someone else is aware of and bothered by the mess is all that’s necessary to motivate a person to clean up, and there’s still potential for your roomie to be an agreeable Oscar to your Felix.

Get down and dirty about getting clean

However, it’s very possible that a simple verbal promise from your roommate won’t produce particularly sparkling results in the cleanliness department. An extra dish or two may be washed, or one pile of junk might disappear from the living room, but if your roommate is seriously messy, you’ll need to look for some more serious solutions. If an initial suggestion doesn’t motivate your roomie to change his or her ways, you’ll need to have a more involved discussion. Come prepared with some ideas about fixing the situation. Perhaps you can create a “chore chart” and have certain individuals responsible for taking care of dishes, garbage duty, and other housekeeping matters each week. You could rotate tasks or each choose one for yourself—if your roomie can’t stand doing dishes but doesn’t mind vacuuming and taking out the garbage, maybe that’s a good tradeoff for you.

Getting personal

Make sure your roommate knows that, beyond completing regular cleaning chores, he or she is also responsible for keeping excessive amounts of personal belongings out of communal spaces. Compromise and allow the roommate’s individual bedroom to get as filthy as possible (short of actual, stench-producing filth), but stick to your guns and work to fight clutter in communal areas. A book here or a sweater there shouldn’t bother you too much, but giant piles of laundry, textbooks, or CD cases are likely unacceptable. However, it’s your responsibility to tell your roommate how much clutter you’re prepared to endure. Being clear about your boundaries will prevent you from exploding when your roomie finally tosses his or her five hundredth candy bar wrapper on the floor. Rather than running around your apartment desperately screaming “No more Butterfinger carpet, for the love of god!” and pulling out your hair when this happens, you can prevent that final wrapper, or maybe even those final hundred wrappers, from ever touching the ground. If it takes stocking every room in your apartment with trash cans (or maybe just trash bags, to save some money), do it—but make sure the messy individual chips in so you don’t resent him or her for making a mess and costing you money to help clean it up.

Dire disasters

If your roomie has serious cleanliness problems—doesn’t shower, lets mold grow in his or her room, and hasn’t washed an article of clothing in months—you probably won’t be able to change his or her ways enough to make living together tolerable. If you find yourself in such a sticky (literally—from the maple syrup your roomie spilled on the TV remote) situation, your best options may be to move out or convince your roommate to leave. If you complain constantly about the mess, your roomie isn’t likely to want to stick around long anyway, so becoming Mr. Clean and nagging your roommate about clutter, dust, and straight up dirt might not be a bad approach—though it could always backfire and motivate your roommate to go on an apartment-trashing rampage. You could try convincing your landlord that your roommate is violating the terms of the lease by excessively dirtying the apartment, but a campaign to get your roomie evicted is more likely to produce hard feelings and even bigger messes than it is to get the grime out of your living space. Bringing up the problem and having a frank discussion about it is always the best first step. If doing so produces no results, you might resort to the aforementioned drastic measures.

Vengeance can be yours, but it ain’t clean

The clean roommate is often tempted to make a mess to show the dirty roommate how awful it is to live in a slovenly space. However, by adding to the Armageddon-like atrocities in your home, you will most likely just condone or even encourage your roomie’s filthy habits. Placing a carefully collected pile of condom wrappers (eww), partially filled Chinese food takeout boxes, and half-eaten fruit in front of your roommate’s door might seem to you (the clean one) like a clear indictment of the grossness of your roommate’s habits. Unfortunately, your roommate will probably take this as license to leave his or her own nastiness outside your door, or perhaps worse, accuse you of being the messy one. Adding to the filth is unlikely to make anyone happy. Rather than contribute, clean up, and ask your roommate to follow suit. If you have to make the initial effort to stock the apartment with cleaning supplies, it might be worth it just to get through the grime and be able to see that your countertops are actually just plain white, not speckled with brown and green like your roommate thought.

Perfect plan

The best way to deal with a messy roommate is not to have one at all. If you’re considering living with a friend, contemplate the way your friend maintains his or her current living space. If there’s clutter you can’t cope with, it’s probably safe to assume that your shared apartment would be just as filled with empty Coke cans, mismatched socks, and last year’s magazines. You might think your friend would understand your need for a neat apartment, but choosing to room with an individual whose living space preferences differ greatly from your own is just asking for trouble.

To sum up, the best way to deal with a messy roommate is to avoid getting one in the first place. If you do end up with a soap-phobic packrat, discuss clutter and cleaning rules without making personal attacks. If all else fails, do what you can to keep communal areas clean, nag your roommate to help out to the best of his or her ability, and breathe a sigh of relief when your lease is up. </p

177 Responses to “Roommate Problems: How to Deal with Messy Roommates”

  1. February 11, 2006 at 4:35 pm, Anonymous said:

    These tips don’t really work. I have lived with a messy roommate for a year. We are under lease so leaving is not a possibility, plus we are both finishing college. But anyways, I have tried to discuss the issue, but she doesn’t seem to understand the dirtness. She always sees us as accusing her, when all we are really trying to do is have her act more like an adult. She tells us to just ask her to help, but when we do she gets very testy, thus making our situation even more uncomfortable. In addition, the chore sheet doesn’t work. Even though people will agree to it, they will just end up skipping their listed chore and then you are stuck to pick up after them the next week. Pointless I tell you Pointless. And compromising, HA! that is a joke. If the person is dirty and lazy getting them to take the garbage out is basically impossible instead it just piles up in the hallway until you, the clean one, is disgusted with it. So basically, I think the only good advice in this article is do not live with anyone or if you are going to live with someone go look at their home before making a decision or make sure you know them very very well. Try discussing your opinions about cleaniness and go from there. That is really the only way it will turn out positive for both people.

    Reply

  2. March 09, 2006 at 6:23 pm, Anonymous said:

    The best thing I’ve found is to talk about it as a rudeness/ inconvience thing rather than a dirty/ nasty issue.
    “When I use the kitchen I always clear my dishes away within like an hour. I do this to be nice and keep out of your way. Every time I go use the kitchen after you, I have to clear off the counter before I have room to make anything to eat.”
    Yeah, word it better. But you see where I’m going. Just wiping off a counter or vaccuming crumbs isn’t nearly as bad as having actual dirty objects to deal with.

    Reply

  3. March 31, 2006 at 9:17 pm, Guest said:

    Print this out and post it above the sink. It worked for me!

    ————————————————–

    A Message from the “Dish God”….

    My children, physically, and mentally challenged earth dwellers – I can see from my spiritual dimension that you have been having difficulty cleaning up after yourself…

    But don’t worry…

    To much of your roommates’ relief I will now help you with this challenge

    Washing dishes and cleaning up after yourself is really not that difficult. (see junior high school for instructions)

    Actually you can accomplish the task in 3 easy steps.

    STEP 1 Cook food and prepare meals using the necessary dishes and utensils.

    STEP 2 Eat food

    STEP 3 Wash/Clean dishes, plates, pots, pans, bowls and/or utensils immediately after eating. Clean counter surface and stove if necessary.

    “Cleanliness is next to godliness!”

    …and may God MESS YOU UP if you don’t start getting your act together!!!

    Reply

  4. April 17, 2006 at 2:08 am, Guest said:

    This is a very complicated situation. I currently live with a roommate who rarely cleans up at all and it drives me nuts sometimes. I let him be because I don’t believe he’s going to change. He will delay and many times ignore any type of activity that I ask of him (talk about disrespectful). I wish American colleges taught a course on “Roommates and Effective Communication”, orrr I guess we can or will eventually learn to seek the most compatible people after some horrible experiences.

    Reply

  5. April 27, 2006 at 2:55 pm, Guest said:

    People that are messy and don’t like to clean up after themsleves are just messy people and probably it’s going to take them years to change if they do at all because for them they enjoy living dirty.

    Reply

  6. April 30, 2006 at 11:06 am, Guest said:

    I think you should avoid assigning blame to one roommate or the other for “the problem”. The actual problem is that you both have different living styles and will both have to compromise in order to solve it. Neither person can or will do a 180 degree change overnight. If the roommate is willing to compromise, make an EARNEST effort to meet him halfway. Pick your battles and set priorities. Make small demands, and as soon as they are met, suggest another slight change.

    I tend to be messy. I will admit it. Desite my best efforts, I am programmed that way. However, I have had roommates who when I took earnest steps to meet them in the middle were completely unwilling to do anything. It was all their way or the highway.

    For instance, I had one roommate who cleaned dishes as she was preparing food. My habit is to cook everything within a 45-60 minute span, and then to wash the the dishes. I saw no essential difference between the styles, except that it allowed me to wash everything once instead of 3-4 times and got me out of the kitchen (and the way) faster. Why did this woman stand over me and nit-pick every time I tried to cook saying am I going to wash X or Y? There was even an instance where I was cutting cheese in the kitchen. She was in the living room and asked me a question. I stepped into the living room to answer her, and when I finished, she promptly asked me “are you going to put (the cheese) away?”

    I had another roommate who complained about the common areas. This was a 3 roommate situation, and I and the other roommate worked to develop a system whereby common area cleaning was broken down into 3 tasks. The tasks could be performed at any time between Friday and Sunday. The third “neat” roommate agreed to this, but then neglected her share of the duties for 5 weeks in a row. It was only when she had impending company that she wanted all of us to drop what we were doing and follow the plan.

    This same roommate would complain about the kitchen, but have no problem having company over, using every single clean dish in the house on Friday and not so much as lifting a finger to wash them until Sunday, and they were my dishes!!! She would also throw paper towels, bones and garbage into the sink, which made it difficult for anyone else to wash anything. Yet, we were the ones with “the problem.”

    So, all I have to say is take an honest look at the entire situation and see how you can do your part to solve your collective problem.

    Reply

  7. May 03, 2006 at 3:49 pm, Guest said:

    I love it when your messy roommate neglects his chores, then you tell him to do it after DAYS of waiting, then they blame YOU because they don’t respond to nagging so that’s why they don’t do it.

    Reply

  8. June 06, 2006 at 11:19 am, Guest said:

    I am not perfect, but it’s soo soo annoying when you spend an hour and a half cleaning up the kitchen doing her dishes and scrubbing down everything to come in the next morning a have a dishwasher full of clean dishes (yet to be emptied) more dishes in the sink. and a pan filled with food on the stove. it’s gross and i can’t live like that. Am i being paranoid?

    Reply

  9. June 21, 2006 at 12:27 pm, Guest said:

    My favorite is when you leave the house clean and come home and it is messy and they make no attempt to clean it. It is a personal comfort level some people like a remotely clean house, hair on the bathroom floor and hogging the common areas are my two pet peeves. I personally am ready to lose it my roommate left a wrapped up pad on the bathroom floor this week!

    Reply

  10. June 28, 2006 at 7:06 pm, Guest said:

    HELP I am moving with my roommate into another apartment with another girl. I have been doing all the work on getting the apartment and I have been living here longer then she has. Now who gets the big bedroom in the new apartment??? any tips on who should get what

    Reply

  11. June 29, 2006 at 8:33 pm, Guest said:

    I’m with you-”These tips really don’t work”. I have been living with the same guy for 5 years now. The sitauation is truly at “boiling point”. He’s thrity. In five years he has maybe cleaned the litter boxes for animals we (he has 2 I have 2) maybe 25 times over the entire time we have lived together, that’s 5 years people, 4 cats . It’s unreal. Food under his bed, Foreman Grill left out for 3 days straight. Garbage everywhere. Cigarette butts. Spills food on the floor doesn’t pick it up. He’s disgusting. I cook then I clean up, not even an offer to help. Doesn’t rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I just have to re-run it. He unloads once a week and yells that he has contributed. Is it me or doesn’t that have to be done on a daily basis. It is truly the most stressful sitaution in my life. When we were younger and college it was alright. But,we are older and have full-time jobs. Peace is far more important. I have come to figure out that if you need to be clean the best solution is to deal with it then find seperate dwelling places. Which is what our plan is. We have fought , I have enabled now we must go our seperate ways to save a great friendship. So- don’t believe the hype. These things do not work just stick it out, resolve your finances then get ready to move.

    Reply

  12. July 06, 2006 at 12:47 am, Guest said:

    What do you do when the roomate is your boyfriend of 4 years? Gets a bit more complicated. I try to just look at the positive improvmenets that he has made but that is not easy when i am stressed or PMSing!
    Any tips for not destrying the relationship over a pile maker, disorganzed bit lazy boyfriend who has a great heart?

    Reply

  13. July 16, 2006 at 6:18 pm, Guest said:

    It’s a childish con to assume a dirty or lazy person will ever change. I’ve lived in a transitional house for 3 years and watched several people come and go. You’ve got your slobs, thieves and A-Holes. The way you get rid of slobs is by bugging them about it everyday until they change or move out. With thieves, you move a bunch of thier stuff into a secluded corner of the garage or closet, they’ll get the idea. The last one is A-holes. Like the people that can’t pay rent or lie about bills in an effort to make money. These people are have deep seeded issues that only a phycologist could work out in therapy. Violence is not the answer even though it’s what most people would like to do. Talk to the person and find out if they see the word “sucker” on your forehead. If it still doesn’t work, then pay a bum with a case of Corona to throw bricks at his car.

    Reply

  14. August 15, 2006 at 8:12 am, Guest said:

    Help! I need out! I live in a house with 4 people so I make 5. I hate it and I want out and there is no way. At first everything was fine. And then 2 stop paying there bills and complain about everything. I know I’m being a nag but they make me. We had set up a chore rotation but they don’t do them so I nag. They don’t pay me so I nag. They are crazy. So they only thing
    I can do because I can’t afford to pay for them is to shut off everything. I think they will get the hint once they can’t play there stupid poker games. I don’t get why people can’t take responsiblity for thememselves. These two have mommy and daddy to pay for everything and they still have problems with their bills. I don’t get it. If you know a way of getting out of my lease please help me I can’t stand living with them.

    Reply

  15. August 15, 2006 at 9:17 am, Guest said:

    Yea, I have a roomate with some “disgusting” habits. The other day he was bragging about how he had mushrooms growing in one of his old houses. I said, “wow man” you must have been trippin all the time…..he said, “no, I meant under the toilet in the bathroom.

    FREAKIN’ DISGUSTING!

    Reply

  16. September 12, 2006 at 7:57 am, Guest said:

    Help! I live with my family and as time goes on it gets more and more unpleseant to be in my house. I live with my son, dad, step mom, and step brother. At first it use to be the occassional fight I’d have with my step mom where she misinterpereted my words or behavior and would fight with me. We haven’t had so much trouble with that lately. Infact the trouble lies with what they let my brother get to do/ privalliages they let him have. It started in may when they let his new girlfriend stay the night… keep in mind he’s 16. They at first told him not to make a habit of it and unfortantly over the summer it did become a habit 6 out of 7 days of the week. The bills in the house went up and I am responsible for half of them. I mentioned to my family the things that bother me about having an extra house guest. They address some of the issues i have but soon after revert back to their old ways.I’m tired of all the things i have to compromise for my brother which he doesn’t appreciate any of us in the house and doesn’t spend time with us any longer unless forced. I hate to leave my family with any bills but I had enough. I made plans with a friend of mine and we plan on getting a place in the new year. We’ve reviewed our preferences and expectations and are in agreement so the question is how do i break the news to them that i am moving out in 4 months so they can prepair for the change financially. just incase you think it’s mean to move out before hand they had once thought about doing it to move out of state. fed up in florida

    Reply

  17. September 26, 2006 at 10:58 am, Guest said:

    Wow, I’m not alone! I’m kind of happy about this in some sick way, but I Feel your pain. I live with 2 housemates, one is my brother and the other is my best friend. My friend is alright but my brother is the laziest person I’ve ever met in my life. He doesn’t have a job. He doesn’t look for a job. All he does all day is get high and make a mess. I don’t think that he has ever helped me clean anything, not once. He just sits there all day long doing NOTHING! I don’t understand how anyone can waste there life like that. I work all day and so does my friend, then we come home to a house that is destroyed! My brother just goes up to his room for the night till the next day of utter laziness. I will spend a few hours on the weekend cleaning the house from top to bottom, then; you guessed it, its all messed up by Monday night. when I ask him to do the simplest thing like pick up all of his beer bottles scattered all over the house he gives me attitude like, ” yeah man, in a second” like he is busy doing something???? When i ask him again a few hours later, he gets up, stomps around picks them up and walks by me clangs them together and says ” Happy now” then sits right down again. Its not like we all have equal shares in this place, its my house, I own it. All he does it pay rent. I don’t know what to do with him. I cant afford to kick him out, and i’m worried that I’ll get a roommate that is worse then him. Any suggestions?

    Reply

  18. October 05, 2006 at 4:04 pm, Guest said:

    My roommate is the biggest slob I have ever met. I’ve known here for about 2 years, and have been living with her for about 3 months. Since we’ve moved in together she has not done dishes once, leaves her stuff everywhere in the common area, doesn’t turn off the tv or lights when she goes to bed, doesnt straighten up any room, doesnt pitch in at all. Her room is even worse, you can’t even walk in there and she has to spray febreeze a couple of times a week because it smells so bad. I’ve even seen things molding in there. I’ve asked her to halp a couple of times with cleaning and that lasts for maybe 10 minutes. The only time she has ever offered to help is when she can see I am already done with the task. The otehr night she said she would clean up the living room before she went to bed, and the next afternoon it still wasn’t done. She also has a negative attitude about everything. The only thing that ever comes out of her mouth is complaints about how the world is so mean to her. I’m sick of it. Then she can’t figure out whether she’s moving out this semester or next. It’s starting to get real irritating and a big hassle to clean up after her messes. I’ve tried the tips but they still havn’t worked. She’s still as messy as she first was.

    Reply

  19. October 13, 2006 at 7:11 pm, Guest said:

    Is it unreasonable to ask that the sink be clean and empty at the end of the night, before everybody goes to bed? I know I’m bordering on obsessive-compulsive, and I dont want to ask my roommies to do this unless it sounds sane to someone else first.

    Reply

  20. October 15, 2006 at 4:06 pm, Guest said:

    Check this one out. I live in a house with 2 other roomates. I work about 30 hours a week to afford whatever I have to afford (bills,rent,food if any). I am hardly ever home. I’m busy. On top of that I have 4 classes a semester. When I am at home I want to have fun, talk, relax. And if you think about it, if someone is not at home all the time what kind of mess can someone make in the house? I have been acoused of always having to be picked up after and never cleans(dishes). The funny thing is that, I am the one that USED TO always picking up after everyone! For the past two months I have always ate in my room just so that just in case I happen to leave a dish out it will be in my room and not somewhere where someone else can pick it up and say that they always have to clean after me. This is my own little experiment. Well… as I am typing this in my living room I can see soooooo much crap (dishes) that are not even mine that I have no idea whose they are. I have cleaned so many times in the past after the one roomate that doesnt clean at all that I just dont do it anymore. I am sick of it.
    This might get a little confusing.

    The roomate that is good about cleaning always complains to me how he always has to clean up after my other roomate.

    Now, just recently one drunken night totally brings out issues that need to be resolved.

    I had confrontation with the roomate that doesnt clean and he says that he always gets complaints about how I never pick up after myself from the same person. Well… i never use the dishes, i am never home, i eat out all the time.

    AH HA! i just figured something out. I mentioned earlier that there is dishes in front of me that are not mine and i have no idea whose they are. Well… me being the mediator in all this. The one roomate that has to clean all the time sees dishes out and HE DOESNT KNOW WHOSE THEY ARE EITHER! So when he knows that i am at home but when i leave even though that those dishes were there in the first place he thinks they are mine. But they are not. This is all bullshit man.

    Okay… im kind of have to go do something right now… so im gonna sum this up of what i think is going on.

    I USED to clean all the time. I stopped cleaning just because I got tired of cleaning up after everyone elses mess. Basically, all the cleaning in the house was done by me and the one roomate that is good about cleaning. And since i have stopped cleaning he has got all the load of having to clean everything. And then he goes and complains to my other roomate that i dont do anything. And he comes to me and complains that he doesnt do anything. (talking bad about both of us) Therefore, I am the one that is getting the heat from 2 other people for something that has nothing to do with me. It’s the person who cleans and the person who doesnt cleans problem. I am the mediator. I havent cleaned in a while but also I am not the one making the mess. I am the one that gets shit on. But, once they talk and figure out that I dont have anything to do with all this they will soon realize that it’s not me thats the problem is the both of them.

    Comments please.

    Reply

  21. October 17, 2006 at 5:30 pm, Guest said:

    I have 2 messy roommates to deal with. One goes to school but never seems to do anything else. She does not do ANY of her dishes or help clean up around the house. I have found brown and watery lettuce and 2 month old eggs in the fridge before! My other roommate, a friend from high school, is even worse. He never showers (and he sweats a lot from his job), his room reaks really bad—so bad that if he leaves it open, the hallway smells terrible—leaves his facial hair after shaving in the sink, doesn’t do any of his dishes, and stinks up the living room because he sits in there ALL THE TIME!! I hate living with them but don’t have the choice of living. I found this apartment and I’m the reason that they are living here. It annoys me so bad! I’m really busy this semester with work and full-time school, plus a dog to take care of. They don’t seem to care whatsoever about their living conditions, especially since none of them have lived on their own before. WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!

    Reply

  22. October 20, 2006 at 8:59 am, Guest said:

    This summer i moved into an apartment with my long time best friend. We moved into a one bedroom, super small apartment. I thought that we could work everything out, but after a month i couldn’t stand her anymore. She just doesn’t have any respect for me or anything. For Example we have live here for for four months and not once has she vaccumed moped or dusted, The only time she will pick up anything is if we get in a fight about the mess. Not to say that i’m not a little messy but i don’t leave food laying on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink for a week with mold growning on them. The worst thing about this whole thing is sharing a bedroom. i work im the mornigns om the weekends anf have to be at school early every other day exept tuesdays. So tueasdays are the only days i have to sleep in, so what does she do at 7 in the morning, Turns on the radio and leaves the beedroom door open, All i want is a clean apartment and a little respect! is that so much to ASk?

    Reply

  23. October 21, 2006 at 3:13 pm, Guest said:

    Take the dirty dishes that you don’t recognize and throw them in the dumpster. Same with personal stuff in common areas that shouldn’t be there.

    Reply

  24. October 21, 2006 at 3:16 pm, Guest said:

    you are not OCD, when you share a sink with others you can’t leave stuff in it – then others can’t use it clean THEIR stuff! I’m totally with you. My roommate is a slob – pot in the sink has been there several days and now has gnats in the water – uuughhh!!

    Reply

  25. October 21, 2006 at 3:27 pm, Guest said:

    My roommate acts like a spoiled child. It’s like she’s always had someone to pick up after her cuase it’s amazing what a variety of stuff she leaves lying around. She wouldn’t know a mop if it bit her in the but. To top it off her dog sheds (she doesn’t vaccumm) and stinks. Today I cleaned half the house and will ask her when she gets home to do the rest (but the rest is really just cleaning up her stuff which shouldn’t be there in the first place anyway). Next year I’m living either a. alone, b. with my boyf if he decides to move here (a clean and neat man, yes they exist!) or c. with a roommate I take more time to screen!!

    Reply

  26. October 24, 2006 at 9:38 pm, Guest said:

    u know what? dont live with your boyfriend either! live alone.. he’ll probably be there all the time, but trust me i moved in with my girlfriend.. i really care about cleanliness.. kind OCD but not quite there yet.. but my girlfriend was never clean enough for me.. she wasnt dirty just messy.. but i told her listen if u want us to be together we have to move away from each other.. because there was just so many fights because of that subject.. now im living alone, people visit, my gf visits a lotttt.. and i clean and everything stays clean! LIVE ALONE PEOPLE IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE
    good luck

    Reply

  27. November 08, 2006 at 3:39 pm, Guest said:

    I agree to the fullest on this one. Not only will you relieve yourself of mess, but also stress. And you will find you have a lot of spare time to yourself since you’re not picking up after someone.

    Reply

  28. November 08, 2006 at 3:51 pm, Guest said:

    I think the real solution here is…put up with it, pull out your hair, and when the lease runs out…MOVE OUT! It seems like those who are responsible enough to care about their living space are responsible enought to live on their own. That’s what I plan on doing. I absolutely cannot stand my roommate. She’s worthless. She works part time and her rent is paid by her parents. I work a full time job and go to school full time because that’s what I just need to do in order to survive for right now. I clean everyday because my slob roommate is to preoccupied with sitting on the couch for hours on end with a bag a lays potato chips watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs and the Disney Channel. She’s 19! It’s really kind of creepy. I’m 21 and I thought is was an age difference thing, even if it was only 2 years, but now I’m just starting to realize that she just sucks. I’ve talked to her about it and she’s in a state of denial. I told her how it bugs me when she does nothing but sits on the couch and eats (when that’s not allowed and we have a dinner table for that). I come home after a long day everyday and have to clean a least a little just to keep up with her. I spend my days off vacuuming and deep cleaning. Oh and I try to fit homework in there every now and then. I can’t wait to be rid of her.

    Reply

  29. November 12, 2006 at 7:40 am, Guest said:

    If your roommates are leaving YOUR dishes in the sink, you have every right to insist that they use paper plates & plastic cutlery. It’s disrespectful to “borrow” someone’s personal property & then leave it filthy for the owner to clean up. I have old dishes that roommates use, and 99% of my kitchen stuff is OFF LIMITS. The moment I see one of my expensive tupperware containers in the fridge, I write them a note, “Your rent doesn’t include these items – just blah, blah”. If they don’t know how much rent YOU pay, you can say that they’re only renting a room, and have “kitchen privileges” that can be revoked at any time. I always specify this when people move in, that they’re renting a room only, and it’s only my generosity that gives them use of the kitchen. By the way, I NEVER share my living room or the rest of the house – if you rent them a room, they know what their parameters are (teenangers live in their rooms anyways). Never tell roommates that it’s a “shared accomodation”. That puts down to their level, and gives them power that they shouldn’t have. You hold the lease. You will take responsibility for damages. Even if they’re on the lease, don’t let them see how much the rent is, and keep your position as Landlord of the unit. You have probably learned what your priorities & necessities are, so put together a list of House Rules. Keep adding to it as you encounter problems. Don’t dwell upon trivialities, but be more general so that no one gets offended (i.e. don’t say, “Clean up your nubblies from the bathroom sink”, but rather say, “electric shaving should be done in your own room”, and give the guy his own mirror, above his dresser. That way, if his chin hairs fall on top of the twinkies sitting on his dresser, they’ll get recycled into his body the next time he gets the munchies. Regarding the kitchen, you MUST make a list. It will be hard for the existing tenants to accept it, but I would consider putting an ad out for new roommates, start showing the apt, and then confront the roommates. “Ok, I’ve got someone willing to move in – do you want to change or should I give you notice right now?” Treat them like children (without being trivial or petty) because that’s what they are. And be proactive – find a solution & use it as a bargaining tool to either change their behaviour or kick them out (without being forced to lose any rent). That’s exactly what I did – my 18 year old roommate of the past 3 months (an emergency favour that turned disastrous) moved her moldy & filthy possessions out 2 days ago, and I have another 2 days to air out the bedroom, wash the walls, ozonate the room & disinfect the bathroom. The new tenant is renting the ROOM only (she’s a nurse), no laundry, no kitchen or rest of the house. Cheaper rent for her, and NO headaches for me. A final suggestion – if the 2 roommates won’t change, consider hiring a cleaning lady. Again, you’re the Landlord, and therefore don’t have to tell them how much it is. If it’s $40, charge them each $20! This is a business venture for you, after all, and you’re only doing it because you HAVE to, not because you want to be living with slobs.

    Reply

  30. November 12, 2006 at 7:58 am, Guest said:

    If your brother is not working, where is he getting the money to pay rent & drink beer & smoke dope? If he’s selling dope, beware that he’s not using your home as a drop-off. You could be charged simply by having knowledge that he’s getting high in your house. It’s obvious that he’s very depressed – his lifestyle & reactive blow-ups attest to that. You’re enabling him by allowing his lifestyle & crippled attitude toward the world (yeah, everyone is against him, I’m sure…) Count the beer bottles each day – you may have an unpleasant surprise, finding out that he’s entertaining other losers while you’re at work. You probably have yeast spores floating all over the place from those empty beer bottles – one step away from mold growing in every corner. Tough love is the only answer – kick him out, find him another place if you have to. Or, if you can’t bear to do that, put him in the basement away from the rest of the house, if you can.

    Reply

  31. November 12, 2006 at 8:10 am, Guest said:

    Speak to your father & tell him that someone has given you an opportunity to move in with them, sometime next year (don’t give them a date). Don’t mention ANYTHING about problems at home – it will only make them defensive. Keep it positive & tell them that this might be a good opportunity for you to “expand your horizons”, learn independence, etc. Speak about it as if you were a kid, asking dad if he thinks it might be a good idea. He’ll then go to your stepmother & they’ll discuss it, knowing that no decision has been made, but that you’re thinking about it. This will give you 3 months of relatively peaceful living (I’m sure they’ll change a few things around the house). Then, when you’re ready to move, give them a few weeks notice (it’s family – they don’t legally require any notice) and move out, keeping things positive, focused on this “great opportunity” for you, not the crap you’re leaving behind. This way, you’ll extinguish any animosity – no one can begrudge someone wanting to move on & experience life! If they bring up your brother or other problems, tell them that they’re no longer an issue, & that you’re no longer bothered by it – it’s true, because you’re now focused on the future, not bothered by the past. And remember that no matter how much they moan about expenses, they’ll balance it out – no one ever lost their home because one family member stopped paying their share of the electric bill!

    Reply

  32. November 12, 2006 at 8:16 am, Guest said:

    Call your Landlord Tenant Association & ask which form is used to break a lease. In Canada we have such a form, and it could be available in the US. One consideration could be to contact their parents & ask for the back-rent, especially if they’re being given this money to give to you. You could ask the parents to give you the money directly (it’s what we’ve always done with welfare recipients, so that they don’t spend it first). You could insist that they have their names put on the lease (it’s often required for insurance purposes). Have a new lease drawn up by your superintendent, have them remove your name & add these 4 names. Get the morons to sign it (they probably won’t notice that your name has been removed), and move out, leaving the lease on the kitchen table for them to work out.

    Reply

  33. November 12, 2006 at 8:21 am, Guest said:

    I don’t know if your familiar with natural, homeopathic remedies, but there is a holistic medicine (completely non-toxic) that can change a slob’s personality. This type of person is happy, full of ideas, great to be around, talks about plans & ideas all the time, but is filthy. Doesn’t like to take a bath. Clothing never looks quite right. Home is a receptacle for garbage, junk & disorganized papers. If you go to a health food store & get Sulph 1M, give him 3-4 pellets, dissolved under the tongue. It’s completely non-toxic, babies can even take it. It won’t cure him, but it will make things easier for you. A dose will last about 1-2 months, when you should repeat it. It costs about $5. Look it up on a homeopathic constitutional website.

    Reply

  34. November 13, 2006 at 7:57 am, Guest said:

    I am living with a friend of mine from college and she’s truly unbearable. She has the smaller room (we flipped for it, and I won the bigger room, fair and square), and I pay $600 more a year than she does to make up for the size difference. However, she must think that she deserves to do whatever she wants because she was “cheated”. She uses my room as if it were her own: she lounges and EATS on my bed when I’m not home, leaving crumbs and dirty dishes on my windowsill and floor. She also helps herself to my new laptop because she broke her own. I caught her eating soup OVER my laptop and wiping her greasy fingers all over the keyboard. She also never does her dishes, and then when I ask her to clear the sink a bit so I can get water from the faucet, she claims the dishes aren’t hers (even though I wash mine as soon as I finish using them). She also steals my food, which is really getting costly, as well as my tampons and cosmetics. Twice I have come home to find my room torn apart: she had gone through my closet and dresser looking for tampons and had knocked all this crap off my shelf, not bothering to pick it up. I am so pissed at this invasion of privacy I could scream. She uses all the toilet paper and instead of putting the roll on the dispenser, she throws it in the sink, where it gets wet. Of course only I clean the apartment, and I always have to clean her nasty hair out of the shower drain, because she just lets the thing clog up. The table is filthy due to her disgusting eating habits and leaving food out, but she nags me to wash the tablecloth – why the hell can’t she wash it??? It’s her mess! She also stuffs up the toilet constantly and leaves me to plunge it. She also threw up outside our apartment door and didn’t bother to clean it up – she just left it there. I seriously can’t stand living with her anymore.

    Reply

  35. November 16, 2006 at 8:43 pm, Guest said:

    Yeah, I hear all of you. We have these roommate contract things, to prevent these kind of problems, and we put things in like make sure dirty laundry is not in common areas, do your dishes before the night is over, and things of the type. Inspite of this her laundry hasn’t been done in four weeks, her dishes sit out for entire weekend, and all kinds of other things you can not believe. It is ridiculous. I want to punch her in the face.

    Reply

  36. November 18, 2006 at 11:30 am, Guest said:

    You MUST get a lock on your door. I’ve had tenants who came with their own locks for their bedroom door! If your parents bought you the laptop, I would explain that when you mentioned the soup-over-the-keyboard incident, they forbade you to allow the laptop to be used by ANYONE else! Can’t fight with daddy’s rules. If you bought the laptop, tell her the same thing, using your computer repair shop as “dad”. She isn’t renting your computer, nor has she given you a damage deposit in case she wrecks it. That’s why ALL my electronics are off limits to tenants. Don’t TOUCH my kitchen TV. DON’T turn on my stereo (if you don’t have one in your bedroom, you don’t care that much for music anyways!). Figure out what she steals from your fridge/kitchen. Can you put a bookcase in your bedroom for dry stuff like cereal? It may be the only way – cereal is TERRIBLY expensive! The fridge stuff may be more difficult – sometimes the only solution is to get a small bar fridge for your room – you can find them for $20-40 used.

    Reply

  37. November 18, 2006 at 11:44 am, Guest said:

    re. Yeah I hear… Why does she have laundry in common areas? Can you supply her with a box from a grocery store, a tall one that she can use as a laundry basket? Can you find an old plastic basket to put all her dirty dishes into? Put the basket inside her room & leave it there, as long as they’re not your dishes. If they are, you need to FORBID her to abuse your dishes & get her own. Give her her own cupboard (it’s what I always do) & tell her to get her own stuff. Give her 7 days to do it. And buy her “dollar store” paper plates in the meantime, absolutely forbidding her to use your dishes again. Enough is enough!

    Reply

  38. December 06, 2006 at 2:51 am, Guest said:

    Hey I understand! My roommate uses all my things, takes my expensive heels out of my closet and walks around in them…WITH SOCK ON! She’s 2 years older than me and I’m always cleaning, working and doing homework. She’s from out of State, so suddenly I have a new “best friend”. She even had the nerve to tell me that I suck at loading the dishwasher. (I had already done it twice that day, all of her stuff of course).

    Reply

  39. December 06, 2006 at 2:59 am, Guest said:

    It’s called mice. No one wants them and they come with a dirty house with dishes left in the sink over night and a garbage can left open

    Reply

  40. December 08, 2006 at 11:35 am, Guest said:

    I am sooo glad I found this site. I thought I was being OCD or a little crazy, but I am happy to see there are others who appreciate cleanliness as much as me.

    I feel like I am not asking my roommate too much. He doesn’t shower but once a week and has a total of probably five changes of clothing. Sleeps in his clothes and wears them day after day. Also doesn’t sleep on any sheets. Just the mattress. I feel like I am asking simply to live normally – i.e. shower daily, etc. The real problem is that I walk in and it smells like body soil. Not like body odor, but like stale musk. It makes me want to vomit.

    I have tried many things. I think i messed up at first because I attacked his lifestyle rather than just the smell/cleanliness issue. Does anybody have any idea of what to do here? I do not think he is going to change…so an idea that I had was to use acetone-based cleaners (I clean a lot) because he really doesn’t like them. The idea is that maybe he will move out. Kind of like fighting fire with fire. I am not sure, because this is really subversive and kind of mean. I just do not know where to turn.

    Any ideas? Your help would be apreciated.

    Reply

  41. December 09, 2006 at 2:29 am, Guest said:

    Yes, it sounds very complicated – I can attest to having lived with roommates for nearly 20 years, that it’s something that you learn a lot from, and sometimes the lessons are painful (but need to be learned).

    I like your idea that there ought to be some course taught at colleges and universities on ‘Roommates and Effective Communication’ — perhaps I should be teaching such a course with my experience! Until that day comes, anyone who decides to room together has to learn the ropes from the ‘school of hard knocks’ (from which I hold a master’s if not phD!)

    My current roommate situation is arguably one of the most bizarre and unusual – I’m 40 and he’s 60 — very long story short, he owes me several thousands of $’s from unpaid rent + expenses (this debt has been accumulated over 8 months now dating back to 2001 – so every day I see him, I am reminded that I live with a debtor) plus, in short, we don’t get along and have little in common. Plus I want to evict him and I know that’s going to take some time.

    The lesson I’ve learned in all of this is:

    There comes a point in one’s adult life that, unless that person knows they never want to get married (have children, etc), then they have to make it their business to work as hard as they can towards that end, lest they “end up” living with roommates into their 40′s and beyond. This is what is happening to me and I’m doing what I can to change that. I do not want to end up being 60 and growing old with a stranger who does not like me, and my only love in my life is a cat (this describes my roommate, it’s quite pathetic and sad).

    Life is too, too short to co-habitate with people you do not get along with.

    Anyway, best of luck to you, and maybe some day you’ll open up a college course book and see your wish come true!

    Reply

  42. December 18, 2006 at 4:37 pm, Guest said:

    it s sad but you cant raise an grown man you tell them what the proble is and if they dont get it then they really dont care about you [ i know ] -we have to be responable for our own action but we cant control theirs so if they care then they will do all that they can to make the relationship work

    Reply

  43. January 11, 2007 at 2:58 pm, Guest said:

    man i sympathize with you all. i am living for the second year in a row with a roommate who i officially can no longer STAND. this girl is the biggest waste of space. every day she sits and watches TV the whole day or plays video games while there is a stack of moldy rotting dishes she has been promising for a week to clean. then by the time i come home after being at school for a day, she rushes off to her room to ‘do work’ since she is such a busy person. meanwhile i end up cleaning because the mess she leaves gives me anxiety! the worst part though is her friend who is perhaps a bigger slob and bigger waste of space than her and the two of them combined, it’s absolutely brutal. if she’s been promising the whole day to clean up, if i hear her friend is coming over it’s allll over, i know instantly that NOTHING will get done and the mess will sit for another day. it’s unbearable! and her friends leave beer empties with the piss still in them sitting and she doesn’t think it’s her responsibility to clean up so who does it fall on? me of course because i get so irritated seeing, smelling and living with the fruit fly infestation. i lied though, the worst part is that she is in the worst state of denial ever. she seems to think we do equal amounts of work and feels she has to clean up after me and my boyfriend. absolute garbage, i am anal about cleaning up and tidy pretty much every day. she is completely immature too which makes it impossible to talk to her about this. i try to do so respectfully and maturely without slipping into arguments, no accusations, no ‘you’ statement, just i feel and suggestions about what we can do together but she instantly gets defensive and yells so what i always clean up after you and your boyfriend.
    really though, the only solution is to live on your own and i am dying for the day our lease is up so i can move out and live on my own. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  44. January 12, 2007 at 1:00 pm, Guest said:

    Oh My Gosh!!! I totally thought I was the only one who has a problem like this. My roommate is 20 soon to be 21 and all she does is watch the Disney channel or ABC family. It drives me nuts. Then she bitches about how she doesn’t “have time” to clean when I see her vegging out on the couch. Her childness has almost made it into every room in our apartment. She has Tinkerbell towels, cups, bedding, I mean come on. If I were a guy I would take one look at that and run like hell.

    Reply

  45. January 14, 2007 at 8:42 pm, Guest said:

    Guys, I totally understand where all of you are coming from! My boyfriend and I share a 2 bedroom apartment with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend.

    They are the messiest people. They have never picked up the vacuum cleaner or mop. I have reached a stage where I am no longer bothering to tell them to do stuff and do it myself. It is so irritating! My boyfriend and I are both people that find pride in keeping our living areas and bedroom clean. However, our roommates are so extremely selfish, they leave crumbs all over the place, and don’t bother cleaning their plates etc. We have an ant problem if I don’t mop and vacuum atleast three times a week. and I won’t even mention the health hazzard in their bedroom! We have a cat and he once pooped in their room (must have confused it with his litter box) and they left it their for a whole week! Arg!

    I cherish every moment that they are out of the house!

    My mom keeps on saying to me: “Dont sweat the small stuff”. I know how hard it is, but just treat your messy roommates like the selfish, immature, disrespectful individuals they are.

    Reply

  46. January 29, 2007 at 11:50 pm, Guest said:

    I’m in the same boat as you are, but instead of 2 years I was stupid enough to stick around for 4 years…Now I have an ulcer!

    Reply

  47. January 30, 2007 at 1:20 am, Guest said:

    my roomate is immature & a slob. She said that she was “neat” in an online profile!! dishes in the sink for days, even weeks. Her stuff is EVERYWHERE..to the point where the couch, armchairs, coffee table, kitchen table are covered with her personal stuff, ranging from socks to piles and piles of school work & 6 months worth of mail. When I come home from work there are often empty chip bags, soda cans, used tissues, greasy paper towels on the floor, along with tons of crumbs. I work 50 hour weeks, I dont want to come home to a couch covered with potato chip crumbs and used tissues! Mommy & daddy take care of her. I am a pretty nice person but this girl is just a loser. Plus she keeps her prescriptions everywhere, on the coffee table, kitchen table, armchair..i dont get it? why would you want people to know everything you take? I thought I was being OCD, but the other day when I saw underwear on the couch (an online date she had brought home) and the amount of socks on the floor, that was just ridiculous. What this shows me is how NOT to be, how stupid she looks and how, when you have no respect for yourself & your own stuff, no one else will either. I no longer care if her dishes break. If there is underwear on the couch, i will throw it out or throw it behind the couch. I doubt people will change, so i am just waiting out this lease to hopefully get a better roomate, cuz there is no way i could afford to live on my own. Roomates suck!

    Reply

  48. February 11, 2007 at 3:52 pm, Guest said:

    I moved in with a friend of a friend on a short term lease. Suddenly I have to be her best friend and invite her to go everywhere with me. If I don’t invite her she slams her door and gives me the silent treatment with some bitchy comments under her breath. I feel like I am walking on glass around her all the time. She is also OCD and cleans the house everyday with bleach. She has even changed my sheets!!! Really Creepy!!! I don’t know what to do bc she is so sensitive? I think she is defiantly OCD with a slight case of bipolar! I would appreciate any advice.

    Reply

  49. February 17, 2007 at 11:00 am, Guest said:

    you think your rommates are bad, Mine is far worse. She never cleans anything, I stopped cleaning things once just to see how far shed let it go before she cleaned something – never did. the —– eats all my food no matter how much i yell at her for it,(i thuough of ex-laxing something in the fridge and waiting) never replaces anything (I buy expensive heathy food, she rarely buys anything and when she does its generic crap i wouldnt feed even to a dog). Dishes pile up covering the stove and both counters as well as filling both sinks before she even thinks of washing some (All hers) I wash my dishes when im done using them, or try to if there is room in the sinks. she has liteally destroyed all of my teflon pans. She never locks the door when she leaves, even if Im in my room sleeping. she has a mini dochaunhd (sp) that she has no idea how to control the Fing thing barks and barks and barks untill i snap my fingers and then it shuts up – in my opionion if you cant control your animal it should be taken away. she locks my cats in her room with her no matter how many times i yell at her for it ( therees no need for my cats to be locked in a room with her when she gets out of the shower(i dont even want to thin kabout what is goin on in there). she blasts my stereo in the living room to the point that now i have to replace the tweeters in my $200 speakers., she uses my soap and shampoo as many times as I yell at her for it – She goes through my things when im not here and steals my herb even when its buried in my closet and what ever else she wants like my fossil watches that i found in her room. I put a lock on my door and then she opens my window from the outside and taunts the cats (lock is buster) and now theres a 3″ hole in my screen. I can tell because the window arm gets caught in the verticle blins unless your on the inside. Then she complained to the landlord that the cats were meowing all day (all cat stuff in im my bedroom)- its like you stupid idiot if you werent such a chode, i wouldnt have to lock my door. I offered to take over the entire lease if she just left, and she refused to leave, but said she would break the lease if we both left. I took the power cord to my stereo once so she couldnt use it and she takes my DVR Box and my Modem – both in my name – finally returned them after i had my lawyer call her and explain that that was grand theft. My land lord won’t do —- about it even though he knows everything that goes on. ph yeah and that idiot dog pisses on everything! My carpet is ruined and is a giant eye sore. I was thinking of leaving a few ounces of bakers chocolate out and seeing what happens, lol.j/k i couldnt hurt a pet.- See my Roommate is far worse than yours. I havent smiled in like 5 mos. I bought a condo , but cant move in for anohter month and a half. paying the double (mortgage and rent) is going to be so worth it for the 2 mos. I dont think i have ever met anyone so ignorant in my life. We met through my old roommate who moved to florida on me (for school), and she was pretty much my only choice. if i could turn back time, ida lived at my parents.

    Reply

  50. February 18, 2007 at 4:49 am, Guest said:

    I too live with some awful, awful people. Total, I live with four others (i’m the 5th) and I get along with two of them just fine. The other two however, are completely terrible roommates. Though the nicer of the two girls mostly stays to herself, pays bills, and is generally decent to pass in the hallway, she is *disgusting* to behold. She showers every couple of days, or whenever she feels like it, leaves moldy dishes in the sink (and her bedroom), leaves rotten food in the fridge, and her room has a stank to it that words simply cannot convey. I can literally smell when she’s been in the house.
    The other roommate I hate however, is literally the roommate from hell. A few months after we starting living together, she (along with the other one) decided she was too good to do chores. She literally objected to cleaning up after herself. This led to all of us dividing up our things, and saying that we would only use what we ourselves brought into the apartment. Despite constant reminders of this, she, along with the other one, still continued to use our stuff, throw garbage away in our garbage can, and basically just do whatever the heck they pleased. Though this has been going on for near a year and a half, things have recently escalated.
    Just recently, the refridgerator became SO full of rotting and moldy food, that I went on a “rampage” of sorts, and proceeded to toss all the expired and visibly moldy food. In total, I threw 3 full size garbage bags away. The next day, a note appeared from the Devil Roomate, complaining that she was owed for the food thrown away. I replied in another note stating that I was sorry she thought the food was good, and that it was definitely expired. A day or two after that, she informed me that she would not be paying me for the last two months of the energy bill ($100 total) to compensate her for the food that was thrown away as well as the other things that I supposedly “broke” or “ruined”. To top it all off, she had the gall to tell me to “grow up”. I guess she wanted me to apologize for treating her like an adult and expecting her to fulfil her obligations. I pray nobody else has to deal with a girl like her. EVER.

    Reply

  51. February 25, 2007 at 11:31 am, Guest said:

    It doesn’t matter if these tips are 100% effective or not. What does matter is that you can come here and get a load off your chest and hear stories and suggestions from real people with similar problems, which will help you better form a course of action.
    So that said, let me reiterate my relationship with my current roommates.
    For the past 2 months I’ve been living in a 1 bedroom apt. with 3 other people. I’m not under any obligation to pay rent and I’m free to stay here as long as I like. I have been contributing regularly of my own free will. Before I moved here I spoke with the other tenants about the importance of cleanliness and they went on about how they weren’t raised to be any other way ect. ect. Well, I immediately found out that all that clean talk was merely a lie! I’ve only on 1 occasion seen people who were so dawg-gone nasty, that the only inhabitants of their domicile that could truly be happy is the dawg-gone flies,roaches and other small and not so small vermin!!! One of my roomies stayed up for 7 days straight playing stupid video games!!!
    He would have died from hunger and dehydration had I not felt pity for him and brought him water and snacks. This same guy has not moved from that spot in front of the computer the whole time I’ve been here except once! In that scenario he got up and helped me clean up around his spot only for about 2hrs! Of the other 2 roommates one is my cousin and it is he who pays the rent, the other is his girlfriend. Both are in college, both spend 16hrs a day playing video games or watching T.V.. They don’t hardly ever sleep, they miss school all the time and most importantly for this article: THEY ARE PIGS!!! They will eat or drink something and leave dirty dishes on the floor or nearby. They open candy and throw the rapper on the floor. They have 2 indoor cats and a liter-box that is cataclysmically full and the worst part is that the dummies put it right in front of the air-conditioner intake vent!!! Everytime the heat came on the whole apartment would smell just like a litter box! So, the whole time I’ve been here I’ve been cleaning up and trying to encourage others to do the same. No success. These past few days I’ve been bed ridden with the flu (no-wonder why!) and this place is disgusting. Garbage is flowing out of the 3 indoor cans into the floors and all over the darn place. Dirty clothes are everywhere. There’s not 1 square inch of carpet that’s not covered with something nasty. I’m 28 and my roomies are no older than 20. I’ve tried explaining things before like; don’t talk at the top of your lungs at 5a.m.. The loudest one got his feelings hurt and told me that maybe if I would ask a little nicer he would quiet down. I told him that I shouldn’t have to beg him not to be loud at 5 in the freakin morning, that he’s not a child and should know better. boy was I wrong. I got the silent treatment for 2 or 3 days and loud rowdy behavior at night when I was trying to sleep.
    This weekend I’m leaving on a 2 week vacation. I’m going to clean- up before I go. I’m going to let everybody know that if this place looks anything other than what it does now (unless better somehow)I’m leaving for good and I’m gonna give them bad reps as being slobs. That’s alot to read I know but it helped me clear my mind just be writing it. you should do the same. Thanks you!

    Reply

  52. February 25, 2007 at 5:26 pm, Guest said:

    Ya’ll here think that you have it bad, well listen to this. Me and my boyfriend were sharing a 3 bedroom apartment with his sister and her 3 year old son. 2 weeks after we moved into the apartment she lets their cousin and her 2 kids (3 and 4 yr olds) come and stay with us, using her sons room as theirs, and she wasnt supposed to be responible for any bills. She was only supposed to stay for 2 months until she saved enough money to put with her taxes to get her own apartment. Of course when taxes came back and she put it with the money she had saved she had over 10,000 dollars and blew it. She bought a car and spent the rest on toys for her kids. the car was only 3,000 dollars and she spent the remaining 7 thousand on bull crap ($150 for her hair to get done, 2,000 dollars on Christmas for her kids, new clothes, new expensive shoes, etc,). Last month me and my boyfriend agreed that since she has been there 3 months longer than we all agreed to, that she would now be responible for 1/4th of the bills. She informed us that she had to have surgrey on her knee and that she was taking 2 weeks off of work for surgrey. Then come to find out she took 6 weeks of just because she wanted too. We still have not received any bill money. Then this week, she decided to let her 16 year old sister and her 4 month old baby to move in without asking anyone else who is actually paying bills. Now we have 9 people living in our 3 bedroom apartment. They bitch at us that they shouldnt have to pay any rent b/c they need their money to pay for their personal things and that they arent sure when they are going to have enough money to actually start looking for their own place b/c both of them still have to get insurance on their cars and pay for daycare while they sit at home and do nothing. They wreck the house everyday. Dirty dishes, dirty diapers, dirty clothes, dont vaccume, their room stays trashed (mattress on the floor instead of on the frame, drinks and food in the room, trash). She lets her kids do anything that they want to (write on the walls, spill juice all over our new white carpet, change clothes whenever they feel like it, torture our dog). This is now causing our light bill to reach over $300 a month when it was only $80 dollars when they moved in. I’m so sick of comming home to a house full of screaming kids, everythings out of place, music blarring, tv’s on, every light in the house is on, kids passed out in the floor where ever they fall asleep, dishes stacked up, food still on the stove from dinner, 2 pieces of clothes in the washer instead of a full load) We want to just kick them out so bad but we take the kids into consideration b/c they are family. How can you make a 26 and 16 grow up? They act like they are the only people in the world who have things that they need to pay for. We cant even afford to get both of our cars fixed b/c of the extra money were comming off of every month for the increase in the utlities. We went from paying 50 a month for lights to paying 200. (We split the bills 3 ways with my b-friends sister, I pay 1/3, he pays 1/3 and she pays 1/3) then on top of that we pay 600 a month for rent and 20 a month for water. What can we do. We tried to put our foot down but she just retaliated by letting her sister come live there too. My sister in law is tired of it b/c the reason that we got a 3 bedroom was so that her and her son didnt have to share a room anymore. But when she moved in she was told that she and her kids would SHARE a room with our nephew and now she has kicked him out into the living room so that she can accomadate her sister and the baby. We just stay in our room most of the time but its not right. we pay most of the rent and still we have no control over what is happening. we thought about calling the leasing office but what would they do? they would probably kick us out for letting her stay there in the first place without putting her on the lease. (were way over the amount of people allowed to occupy our apartment)We have a year lease with his sister and dont want to break it b/c we dont have a problem with her and her son and plus we moved here to help her out so that she can go back to school and she could help us out with the bills. So it wouldnt be fair to her for us to get out of the lease and leave her to pay for everything on her own. We want to help her b/c she is trying to help herself. So what can we do to get all these other people out and retake control over our home. We cant stand it anymore!!! Any advise would be so helpful.

    Reply

  53. February 27, 2007 at 2:12 pm, Guest said:

    My roommate showers seldomly, She never does her dishes. In 7 months of living together she has not ONCE cleaned the bathroom. She didn’t know how to cook a grilled cheese sandwich (just a testiment to how much her mother did every little thing for her when she lived at home). She has dead bugs under her bed and laughs about it. She doesn’t know how to do laundry, so there often are days where she wears the same dirty clothes over and over again. She is late with her rent and takes months to give me money for bills. She had a ton of friends over one night while I was out of town and they trashed the place and MY room. Guess who got home sunday night and had to clean the apartment- ME. And now to make matters worse, she decided to get a kitten. She can’t take care of herself much less another living creature. The kittenstayed at our apt. for about 3 weeks and then she gave it to a friend. The litter box and cat food is all over the place and there is no cat anymore. The cat has been gone for almost a month and she STILL hasn’t gotten rid of any of the cat’s stuff. I am refusing to clean it up. I’ve cleaned this apartment everyday for the past 7 months and i am through with her. I’m moving out in early May. She can’t afford rent by herself. So she’s moving back in with mom and dad. At least now her mom can clean up her s**t and I won’t have to deal with it. Some advice to anyone moving in with a friend- lay down rules before you even move into the apartment. Better yet, find out what the person’s habits really are before even discussing becoming roommates. It’s sad to say, but these past few months of living with this girl has ruined our friendship and to be honest, it doesn’t bother me at all.

    Reply

  54. March 03, 2007 at 1:28 pm, Guest said:

    I have two roommates, both are male. One is clean and neat, and the other is the messy one. The messy one leave dirty dishes in the sink, and used pots on the stove. He also fills the kitchen trash can past the brim. In addition, he doesn’t always flush the toilet, and the hallway wreaks of his funk! He leaves short hairs after shaving all over the bathroom counter and floor. After a couple of months of continuously asking him to modify his behavior, I made an executive decision. Everyone’s rent was raised by $50, and we now have a biweekly maid service. Problem solved!

    Reply

  55. March 05, 2007 at 2:13 pm, Guest said:

    My Boyfriend and I share our apartment with our roomate he is on the lease but HE SUCKS!!! I knew he was going to be a problem from the begining the house he lived in with his mom was disgusting but he said he never cleaned that house cause it was already a mess. When we moved in we had a shared cleaning list which was instantly turned down by our roomate. He never helped us move anything in and everthing is ours from the couch to the dishes to the washer and dryer EVERYTHING is ours he has never contributed anything to the house and uses it all. My boyfriend and I go to school full time and work full time also out roomate doesnt do anything hardly works and doesnt go to school all he does is drink and smoke!! He always has friends over and if we ask him to run it by us first he acts like we are breaking his arm or something. Our apartment is 2 stories and the living room is upstairs so when I have to go to bed early all I hear is noise coming from upstairs into the early morning. The dishes will build up for weeks and he just lets them. He sneaks and eats our food we work hard to get. When the bills are due he will avoid us until he has the money and dosent pay any of them. His only conerns are getting high, drinking, and doing drugs. HE IS LAME i cant believe he sucks so bad. I dont know how to handle the situation I have left him different notes asking to mop the floor or clean the upstairs bathroom all his friends make a mess of. Our blinds are broken because his friend was high on pills and pulled them down and our towel hanger in the community bathroon is broken cause someone was trying to have sexy during a huge party he threw while my boyfriend and I were in Hawaii and all he keeps doing is covering it up, never replaces it. I cant stand living with him anymore and we still have our lease till June :( I hope he cant pay the rent next month so someone else can move in! ugh!

    Reply

  56. March 14, 2007 at 2:52 am, Guest said:

    I moved into this 3 bedroom apartment about 4 months ago. I moved into my girlfriend’s 3 bedroom that she shared with 2 teenagers. She kicked one of them out about the same time as I moved in and she added another. (so now there’s me, her, and we’ll call the other two “metro guy” and the “slacker guy”) The house was kind of a wreck when i moved in, with 4 cats that terrorized the place. She got rid of the cats and we started cleaning the place. We had the rent split up four ways,me and my gf paying the larger portion for the master. We decided this would give us all cheap rent and we have more bang for our bucks. The electric was also split up 4 ways and we split the cable up 3 because the slacker guy couldn’t afford it.

    The cable was under the metro guy’s name, and the electric was under the slacker guy’s name. The slacker had just got a job, and my gf was tryin to help him out because he really had nowhere else to go. She had just quit a better job and before I moved in, up until slacker guy had a job, was paying slacker guy’s rent. They were also down about 400 bucks on the electric bill, recently it’s up to about 500.

    The first month goes by and everything goes smooth, except metro guy’s rent is a week late, (with the excuse of moving expenses, we let it slide) not really the best sign though. Second month goes by, slacker guy and metro guy, didn’t pay rent until 2 weeks later and I had to cover it. During this time, slacker guy stinks up the living room after we told him to keep his hobbies to his room, and metro guy never does anything, but keep to his room which is fine, except he keeps jacking the AC ALLLLL the way down, and never ever has helped with the electric bill. I’ve recently set the AC to 75 and duct taped the whole thing. He tore off the tape at first and slammed it all the way down again, then i retaped it, and he just turns it on, instead of on auto, goddamn. Metro guy also says, “i’ll give you 200 and you don’t have to pay the share of the cable bill” (which he also has never paid in full, which has jacked up his cable bill, but it’s ok by me because it’s in his name, although, I have paid for my share and it’d be nice if they didn’t cut it off, and also if I knew what exactly I was paying for) SO, third month comes around, I don’t get rent from metro guy again, and slacker guy actually pays half of his. Thankfully coinstar is there so i can cover everyone else’s rent.

    So to summarize, messy house, me and gf are paying all the bills, they also eat our food and bum our smokes and hang out in our living room using our tv all day. Also, giving slacker guy rides cause he doesn’t have a car. We stay in our room most of the time to avoid them, and also so we don’t kick their asses.

    Now both me and my girlfriend are broke, neither slacker guy or metro guy has paid me back in full, but I’ve already talked to the apartment office and we’re switching the lease to a single BR apartment with only having to pay a hefty fee for breaking/transferring the lease and another deposit along with a full month’s rent 3 days from when the apartment becomes available. I’ve decided to give slacker guy notice, but only will give metro guy notice if he comes up with the rent he owes me.

    Roomates are fun huh? That’s not even the worst roomates I’ve had, but it’s kind of an odd situation where we’re not sure we’re doin the right thing considering slacker guy’s situation, because also we’re sticking him with the electric bill.

    Reply

  57. March 21, 2007 at 7:41 pm, Guest said:

    You guys do have some interesting stories. I never understood why people put dishes in the sink when there is a dishwasher! It doesn’t make any sense to me. My roommate does that, and when he runs the dishwasher, he lets it stay clean and full for over a week sometimes. It’s a hopeless battle. I refuse to empty it or clean the dishes, so I just wash mine by hand until the sink get unbearable. Thankfully, my lease runs up in 1.5 months, so I’m choosing prayer and patience! haha God bless.

    Reply

  58. March 31, 2007 at 4:53 pm, Guest said:

    I also have a disgusting roommate, whom I’m sure is dirter than a guy. The dorms at my school are very small and she things its ok to bring a massice dish chair and place it in the center of the room as well as have her dirt a clothes all over the floor and leave food out than return from class and consume it. Sh’e so gross. After we had mediation I just began to ignore her and we simply don’t speak. If she makes me angry I write a note and stick it on her desk. The school year is almost over so it really dosent’ bother me that much anymore. Sometimes you just have to deal with people like this. Whatever dosen’t kill you can only make you stronger :)

    Reply

  59. April 07, 2007 at 2:52 am, Guest said:

    Well, I wish these hint were helpful in my case but my roommate is a bit difficult. The moment I mention anything to her regarding the condition of our apartment or something I find that I think should be changed she burst out crying. And I don’t mean one tear I mean the whole cant breath can’t speak thing and I just think that’s annoying. I end up feeling bad because she’s not participating in the cleaning with our apartment. I usually stay at school on the weekends and she drives home, she will take trash from her room jam it in our kitchen trash and leave for the weekend and then have the audacity to say that I should have taken the trash out. Its not like our dumpster is in Kansas. It’s like 12 feet from our door!! Meanwhile she’ll be leaving a box with pizza STILL in it on our dining room table all week then tell me she will take it out on Sunday. REDICULOUS! But the source of my anger usually stems from her naive and inconsiderate manor for which she functions in this apt. We even have separate trashcans and she still won’t take out her own trash. Then she says to me as were leaving one day that she doesn’t understand why her trash can gets so full when its twice as big as the one we were both using together. I only thought to myself it was because I WAS THE ONLY ONE EVER TAKING IT OUT!!! THAT’S WHY IT NEVER SEEMED FULL TO YOU!!! Ahh I could go on all day.

    Reply

  60. April 09, 2007 at 7:22 pm, Guest said:

    I Hate Roomates!!! I finally decided to move out of my parent’s house when I graduated college. I moved in with one of my friends. I knew that she was messy before we moved in together, but of course she swore that she was really not that messy and when she lives with other people, she is more neat. What a load of bull! Ok, everyone is always on their best behavior when they first move in with a new roomate. That quickly changed. First, she has a rat dog that she lets bark non-stop and allows it to poop all over the floor. At first, I was cleaning it up, but then I decided that it was a waste of time. I started to just call out to her that the dog had pooped and she would come and clean it up. Well, of course she got to the point to where she would wait 2 or 3 hours before coming in and cleaning it up. So, what did i do? I started putting the poop in her room. At first i was putting it in semi-hidden spots so it looked like he pooped there himself, but then when the i noticed she wasn’t even picking up that poop, i just put it right in the middle of her room where she couldn’t miss it. She also babysits these two boys from 3-5. They always come to our apartment and make a huge mess. Cookie and candy wrappers, chip bags, papers and toys are strung out all over the place. I ask her repeatedly to please get the boys to pick up after themselves, but she won’t tell them and she won’t pick it up either. She also smokes like a chimmney and drinks like a fish. We had an agreement that she would smoke outside, but here we are 2 months into the lease and I caught her smoking in the kitchen at 4 AM. She thought i wouldn’t catch her that early in the morning but alas i did. She denied it when i asked her what she was doing and gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the day. She brings rowdy, loud friends over at all hours of the morning and lets them eat MY food and play loud music, slam doors and generally disturb me and probably the neighbors. She is in college but yet she never goes to class. She wakes up everyday around 1 and sits on the computer until 2:50, then goes to pick up the boys. All the time it’s the same…she’s lazy, messy, selfish, irresponsible and annoying. She claims she doesn’t have the money for the bills, yet she can afford her cigarettes, beer, money for the bar and going out to eat. i hardly ever come out of my room anymore because I don’t want to see her ugly face. Like i read earlier, having a friend as a roomate ruins relationships and this is one I don’t care if it’s ruined.

    Reply

  61. April 15, 2007 at 7:17 pm, Guest said:

    Well , this seems a nice place to rant. I am a prior business owner and before I sold my business I was making abotu 10k per month I still recieve residual income so I don’t have to work but I want to work. But I chose to take a couple months off and regroup . my friend was about to lose his apt because he couldn’t afford the rent it is a one bedroom apt and I am selling both of my house so I needed to vacate while the selling is going on
    We made an agreement that I would pay half of his rent to help him out from going HOMLESS as well as a favor I paid his electric bill that was two days from being shut off. in addition to I bought him food and gave him over a 100 dollars of all my stock pile of stuff I had in my home. His house was so dirty not just messy but dirty it took me 8 hours to clean it up it is a 600 sqft place. ( i thought it would help him get back on the right track to come home and have lights ,food , and a home.) and oh yes I also turned the cable on and paid for it all I didn’t ask him to pay any of the bill just enjoy the service… nor did i ask him to pay for the electric bill just think of it as kidness
    as well I let him use my internet service that cost me 78 per month becuase it is a wifi connection .
    as well as he asked me for gas money when I gave him 5 dollars he gets pissed. that I should give him more.( not my fault he is broke , not my child, I will help someone but they need to help themselfs )

    what thanks do I get , he comes home trashed every night the money he makes he boozes up on and he freeks out about everything ..

    My dog his cat
    I have a dog he got mad because the dog tried to play with a cats toy by fetching it it is a small fuzzy little ball.( my dog is a certified living assitant animal)

    Cable
    he told me ( screaming at me more like it ) that this was horriable because and the only reason i turned the cable on was because I wanted to be more comfortable in HIS house( he wouldn’t have a house if it wasn’t for me) then got paranoid becuase yet another bill that he just let go and refused to pay, so now since the cable is in my name he thinks they are going to hunt him down…. for a past bill.

    Electric
    he got trashed drunk and told me that the only reason I paid the electric bill was so I would be more comfortable. ( yes that is a true fact , I like electric assh*&e)

    Food
    since I was staying there and he can’t afford to pay for food He had no money what so ever and didn’t know how he was going to eat for the next WEEK we went to the market I picked out food I liked and we BOTH could eat … this as well got throwen in my face he told me how selfish i am becuase by going grocey shopping I should buy him things that he likes ( last I knew beggers can’t be chooser and if I am eating it as well all the stuffed purchased will be things we both will eat)

    Cleaning his house.
    this is the most horriable thing. I took 8 hours to clean a 600 sqft apt that was so trashed out … dishes for miles , clothes, paper, cat box ,mold, hair , Hair balls, dust, ( i found out the kitchen floor is actually white , WOW!!!!) two days later all my efforts are gone……. he will take a beer can and and place it on a counter next to the trash can that is sitting right there…

    My computer NOT HIS
    I let him use my computer to check his email he says I am rubbing it in his face because i use my computer all the time and he had to pawn his( that is not my fault) I still do business via the internet… and he thinks he should have RIGHT”S to MY computer.

    Bath products :
    Being a woman and liking to be clean , I am paticular about my products I go to a store called bath junkie and all of my personal and bath products are custom made to my order , from smell color , texture, each time I go once a month my bill there is about 100 dollar.. just a 3 oz of bath gel cost 21.00 he used my ( vera wang products and poured over half of the bottle into a tub so he could have fluffy bubbles ) To be kind and nice once again and give him the hint stay away from my stuff I went and got him a 1oz bottle of stuff that has a masculent smell to it and told him the price of it was 20 bucks so be sparing with it a little goes a long way HINT HINT HINT…what does he do yes he is carefull with his new product but he goes back to using my VERA WANG……….WTF so now I have to hide girly bath products …….again ……WTF.

    again last night he got drunk I am trying to go to sleep as I had went out on a date and it was rather late. and I had to work the following day and needed to be up at a decesnt hour, He was watching movies and wanted me to watch this movie with him. I kept telling him I am listening to the movie as I am getting sleepy and ready to crash out he wont shut up , becuase he is drunk and has nothing to do the next day so other people must be the same… finally I told him come on shut up ,I am trying to get some rest I will listen to the movie until i pass out but please stop talking to me.

    well that is when it hit the fan he told me this isn’t my house he told me to get out! he started hitting walls then grabbed me by my sholders he stepped on my computer, he smacked my hand when I got back into his face about grabing any part of me period ( i will not tollorate that ) I told him he needs to pay back EVERYTHING !!! then ( oh but he doesn’t have it to pay back ) he doesn’t have a JOB and without me he is HOMELESS.

    And telling me this isn’t my world , and everything in here isn’t all about you because I like electric , and i like cable , and I like the internet, and I like certain foods but I should buy what he likes and that this is HIS HOUSE … ( but I have paid for more than my share)

    And now due to his crap last night, I missed work as I was so ratteled by his agressive behavior I couldn’t sleep until 9 a.m. this morning.

    I am moving ASAP I don’t care if he goes homeless I don’t care if he starving in the dark with no electic and no movies to watch. he is ungratful and deserves whatever crap he manifest. What toys will his cat play with when the cat is homeless as well.

    Reply

  62. April 21, 2007 at 8:45 pm, Guest said:

    Wow, I’m sure glad I checked this site out. It’s definitely made me feel better about my living situation. I moved in with this girl I worked with and I (of course, haha) thought I knew her. She was maintaining a two-bedroom apartment by herself after her roommate had skipped out and I got on the lease in December. I should have known the day I moved in that it was going to be trouble. The place was TRASHED. Clothing all over the living room, hallway, her room, bathroom. Kitchen and bathroom were disgusting. The only room that was clean was the bedroom I was going to be moving into. That horrible mess got cleaned up within a week and I thought that my troubles were over. Not so. The electric bill was in her name, so, I STUPIDLY wrote out a check to her thinking that she would write out 1 check to the electric company. She didn’t. She’s been taking my money ever since I moved in to buy really important things like hair extensions, colored contacts, etc….jesus. She now owes them hundreds of dollars. I just laugh because her credit is getting destroyed and she doesn’t even know. She rarely showers and you can tell…she stinks BAD. She has the most f-ing ugly annoying cat and never cleans its litterbox. It gets to be so bad that the entire apartment smells like cat s***. I suppose I could go on and on…but yeah, the other posts have made me feel better about it all! I hope August comes really quickly!:-)

    Reply

  63. April 22, 2007 at 1:04 pm, Guest said:

    I too have had enough of living with irresponsible, slovenly housemates. For three years in university I lived in a house of NINE people. The laundry room was always a disaster. The kitchen sink was always overflowing with unwashed dishes. The floor was always speckled with juice and pasta sauce and cheese and booze and other forms of grime. The common room was full of crap (dirty laundry, video game systems, used dishes and cups – oh so many used cups!, and various other miscellaneous items including a huge rug that my roommate kept in his room until he spilled milk on it one day and decided to stuff it into the common room corner where it sat for several months until we all moved out). I was the only one who ever cleaned anything, but after the first year I just stopped caring. All I could do was “ignore” my messy housemates and all of the other problems including ants, flies, pillbugs, centipedes, mice, spiders, mold, etc. My housemates held parties that made all the problems worse and never cleaned up properly. Stacks of two-fours on the floor left for months till the almost-empty bottles grew moldy. Once when the smell was especially bad my housemate and I went investigating and came upon a plastic bag in the hallway that, when lifted, revealed a thriving squirming mass of hundreds of maggots (what was in the bag or who put it there we never figured out).

    And now I live in another house of six, it’s happening all over again. The kitchen is disgraceful. Several of my housemates leave garbage everywhere – and I mean everywhere! Carrot and orange peels all over the kitchen table and spilled all over the floor. Cereal both dry and dried cakes the counters and floors. The sinks are full of plastic tupperware containers that have been sitting there for months. Bags of garbage full of food waste lie open and NEVER get taken out. Recyclables and bags of food waste lie piled high in the corner right in front of a DOOR LEADING OUTSIDE; how that spring’s upon us I’m just waiting for the ants and flies to start their feast. The bathrooms have never been cleaned except by a rather disappointed landlord who came one day to find them in a disgusting state. I’m the only one who ever vacuums or tidies anything, including the common rooms and the kitchenette in the basement. The situation is positively revolting, and I can’t wait until four of the six move out in a couple of months leaving myself and one other person who’s smart enough to spend all of his time at his girlfriend’s place. Perhaps we can find four new people who don’t enjoy living in squalor; then again, things could get so much worse…

    I just can’t understand how people can be so revoltingly messy. There is just NO excuse. And I commiserate with all of you out there who have to deal with similarly stupid people and others who are far, far worse.

    Reply

  64. April 23, 2007 at 6:36 pm, Guest said:

    God I hate my roommates so much!!! fricking nasty ass dirty slouches who just moved to America, their jokes are beyond retarded and their music selection is actually what my grandma used to listen…they dont have jobs, bad grades, no gfs (obviously) and are jealous of me partying with my other friends. They literally gang up on me when I come back from work all tired and on the edge anyways. Since they dont have a social life, they just stay at home and think about the comments they will make tonight to annoy the —- out of me….one of them happens to be my “best” friend…one advice: never live with your best friend, that clingy bastard does not have a personality and hangs to me like a mother——- leech…the only thing I do now is stay out of home or do my own thing if I am at home. I think I just need to breatheeeeeeeeeee

    Reply

  65. April 25, 2007 at 7:16 am, Guest said:

    I understand this disgusting roomate situation everyone has been in. I currently live in a 3 bedroom apartment with two other roomates and myself. It is a very nice apartment, with new furnishings, kitchen appliances etc. Too nice almost for any 21 year old college students to live in! So, the story goes like this…
    I am the CLEANING NUTT, Roomate 2 is clean, and picks up after herself, helps clean the house,buys cleaning supplies, and never makes a racket to keep me up all hours of the night…now the other one, roomate 3, is a demonic DISASTER! :
    Brings a DIFFERENT guy home everynight…and has had two ‘for real’ boyriends that she claims. They are loud and annyoying guys at this. She goes out to the bars, comes home at late hours of the night, and is loud as EVER at 2, 3 and 4 am…just a reminder that I get up at 5….go to work, then come home go to school and sometimes I go to my second job. And she is just coming in at 5. She only works for her major, co-op. She doesnt work other than that, during school. She is an engineering major, whom never goes to class…and makes fun of me and my history major bc i bust my ass working and going to school. She has never bought a cleaning supply, she has never cleaned, mopped, cleaned a toliet or even done her own dishes without a fight. I have left notes, and she goes PSYCHO and carries any appliance or light that is hers into her room, a nice note makes her demonic. She is always right and says she isnt messy. But for some reason or another my other roomate and I always clean up after her and friends EVERYDAY. She is lazy, and sleeps all day, eats all day, and doesnt move her shit. Her room smells like her ferrets shit, and lets it sit to become part of the carpet. One time, my roomate wrote her a check, knowing she wasnt going to cash it anyway, and it got lost in her room of messiness, and then wanted my roomate to write her another one bc of her irresponsibility. I need HELP. and if anyone can give me some advice for a PSYCHO, MESSY, LAZY roomate, who has no common sense of hygene….HELP ME!!!

    Reply

  66. May 01, 2007 at 4:58 pm, Guest said:

    …but it’s kind of an odd situation where we’re not sure we’re doin the right thing considering slacker guy’s situation, because also we’re sticking him with the electric bill.

    I’m presently evicting a roommate (I’m lucky in the sense that I own my house and because my roomates share the bathroom and kitchen with me, the tenants act doesn’t apply to my situation, so I can kick out at will).

    But I wanted to comment on your ‘doing the right thing’ comment. No one wants to be an a$$ and abandon roomies, but the thing is in a situation like that you can either do what’s best for you and your gf, or do what’s best for other people at the expense of you and your gf’s sanity. There’s a chance that 3 mos.. or 3 yrs from now your roomies still would be in a precarious position, so there might really never be a good time to part ways, so you had might as well do it sooner rather than later. It doesn’t make you bad, it just means you’re not voluntarily running your life according to someone else’s schedule. Seems reasonable to me.

    Reply

  67. May 07, 2007 at 11:28 am, Guest said:

    I understand the nightmare and the stress that comes with living with the described roomate. Mine is not quite that bad, but beings that, it is her house and I am the roomate I have ignored, until I can’t take it anymore. The common areas are kept tidy. We both take out garbage. The kitchen is acceptable, but it needs a through cleaning which she, the homeowner, has not done since she moved into this house, which she bought. Guess she does not have too much respect for her own property. SHE DOES “STENCH” her room out with diry clothes on the floor and unclean sheets – and when the “STENCH” floats out into the common hallway, I go into her room and open the windows, winter or not. She owns the house and cooks late at night. THat would be no problem EXCEPT she is an alcoholic and almost caught the kitchen on fire – while I was sleeping and luckly the smoke smell came into my room and I came downstairs to a totally smoked filled downstairs, grease flames and the “dizzy drunk” still had not even opened a window. I opened all the windows and I screamed my head off at her – I had to go to work the next day – plus I am not going to die because of her. She did it again- week later- and I screamed my head off at her and the next day- pointing to all the dangers -This has not happened for 12 months since. the “STENCH” still comes, luckly the weather is good now, so I go in her room and open all the windows and other house windows (close my door). If I were you,with your wacked roomate – I would put a trash can that is full of garbage and put it in her room. She how she likes living with garbage. Or maybe threaten to do so- Doing so may cause more problems. These kind of people ignore NOTES and seem to always come back with some pathetic excuse- that makes no sense.When I was in college, I was a bad rooomate once. I came home late drunk, with someone, who slept in an empty room. My roomates were pissed and very nicely told me if this happened again, I would be looking for a new place to live. I corrected my behavior ASAP. BESIDES dealing with your roomate’s ways, it is very draing on the other person, ruins the quality of life. There are times to ignore, times to be diplomatic or critize with a sense of humor – in hopes- that they get the message – and then there is time to verbally lean on them directly after you discover another disgusting situation. AND, again- tell her if she does not straighten up- you are advertising for a new roomate- and send a certifed letter addressed to her- stating the problems, the expected solutions, and the results should she continue to not comply. That should help cover you legally. Of course the time and energy to do this comes from you- otherwise you live with the demon from hell. I hope this helps.

    Reply

  68. May 09, 2007 at 12:01 pm, Guest said:

    PLEASE NOTE: the last sentence stating the words “this should help you legally” SHOULD NOT in any way be construed as legal advice or the correct thing to do in your situation. I just experienced more fun , as in NOT, with the homeowner I live with and rent a room in and have use of the small rowhouse. Dust mites or somthing like that are in my mattress. To boot the person who slept in the same room and bed before me was visiting the house just a few weeks ago – he visited for 2 weeks. When I told him and showed him my “bites” he told me he had the same problem, and told the roomate, his former giorlfriend, that she can’t rent the room like that. Of course she dennies it. GOOD NEWS, she bought a new mattress and boxspring, new replacements bedcovers. I told her (in a prepared conversation stating my reasoning) that I did not think it was reasonable that I should have to pay rent for the time I discovered the “bug bites until the day the new mattress arrived. (Yes, I had the Terminex guy out here, and because they are micrscopic – he could not see them.- advise wash clothes in hot water and keep room dust free and clean after new mattress arrives) However, as someone pointed out to me, I do have a roof over my head, bathroom, kitchen etc to use, and therefore , not paying any rent for the time period doesn’t sound totally reasonable- which I got. So to end the maniac roomate from streesing me out first thing in the morning, which she did today, over not getting rent or even partial rent for the time period till new bed arrives, I just now had to give in and pay the “total rent due”. My health is not in good shape and I cannot handle looking for a new place and packing my limited stuff up, moving to gosh knows what i will encounter in the new place as a renter in a private house, with the owner living in the house. Being on a month to month basis, and in a private house,my rights are limited, and at this time- after her tirade this morning – I gave in for my own peace of mind from her. Did she win. Not really- I just elected the best path for my “sanity”. Hers is a funny note- Evrything I read about “Dust mites” “Scabies” “lice” bedbugs” said to wash your bedding, clothes in hot water. WELL< I washed all my white undergarments in hot water this morning- and they are now all an ugly brown, including 2 t-shirts. SO WARING to anyone- sheets, etc, towels,can go in the hot water – BUT if the tags on other articles of clothing say COLD or WARM- do it. Or you will have to buy replacement articles of clothes- In the end – this witch has cost me money. THESE are many of the NIGHTMARES of living with roomates – The bad ones will near drive you insane, stress you out – AS the person who wrote that HE could not get to sleep the night before work – after an episode with his roomate- where he is the roomate in a private house. These crazy roomates have the upper hand in private home situations – and in the end it will cost us monetarily as well , staying or leaving. I HAVE always said – when the “other people” say get a roomate to save money- that it is not worth the aggrevation of any money saving- unless you know you can cope with the “unkown” and know you can moves out to live alone or a “known better situation. OTHERWISE- it seems all of us living with these DEMON roomates – are paying a cost- one way or another. I just have to continue to take care of my health – which is why I am going to pay her all the rent- and believe that when I am at 100% – I will be out of here living by myself and a nice place, as before this nightmare happened.

    Reply

  69. May 09, 2007 at 1:08 pm, Guest said:

    It seems all of us on this blog- are in the same boat – diffrent version – Truefully, the best solution , as someone said, and I know is have no roomate. BUT- since we do, I ignore as much as I can, only scream , for example, at 11:00 pm I come downstairs and the doors are unlocked AND my safety is at risk- because she is too busy drinking and talking on the phone. I gave in today over money- and paid the consequeses of her actions – just for my personal health and peace of mind. I t gets quiet for a while , maybe months, then boom , its one thing after the other- I presently do not work because of my health- but i did for a while- and it was was a nightmare- she woke me up at night due to her unsafe crazienss going on downstairs- I have realized that there is no way i could live here and work. i would lose my job or lose my health. Alcoholics are thoughtless people – this one does not respect her own home, or other personal property – i have decided THAT FOR MY OWN PEACE OF MIND- to ignore everyting that just is not worth it- to take care of things if she does not- until the next screaming from me- where she has affected my health or safety. Thank goodness for my long walks in the nice weather in the evening – keeps the strress down, clears the mechanism. Luckly- she is not in the house very much – but when she is – it is a nightmare on too many occassions. These demon roomates , will for sure – ruin the quality of your life- even when you do your best to ignore and not “sweat the small stuff” – I pray a lot now – to survive this place- believe me- she will have a hard time with a new roomate- when her crazy drinking creates havoc. Now that a new bed and bed covers are in the room – over one years that I have been here – just found the mites biting me recently – and that the boyfriend and her were sleeping on this mattress before me- for several years and brought it with them- which i did not know at the time- lovely. But , as I said, the tiny bedroom will look better for the next renter, since I have cleaned it and the new bed will arrive any day now. Seriously, I hope she has a heck of a time getting a roomate or one that stays – BUT- the best thinking for all of us- is to survive this situation – dream big- exercise the stress out of you – and plan and believe that this is just temporary – and the next place is going t be much better. THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL. sO FOR THAT REASON, WE ALL HAVE TO HANG ONTO OUR MENTAL HEALTH BY IGNORING AND DOING WHATEVER CHORES WE HAVE TO FOR OUR PEACE OF MIND, DO NOT FIGHT WITH THEM ON THOSE ISSUES TOO OFTEN, DO NOT LET THEM GET THE BEST OF US AND RENT SPACE IN OUR HEAD WITH THEIR CRAZIENESS. That is what I am doing. Thank you for letting me vent on this blog- and I hope my ending thoughts are helpful – I now feel better myself.

    Reply

  70. May 09, 2007 at 4:23 pm, Guest said:

    Oh Lord, I recognize this terrible being, “messy roommate.” She has had athlete’s foot for about nine months now and won’t do anything about it (her feet are scabby and her socks all smell terribly). She doesn’t do her laundry. Last term (3 months long), she did her laundry ONCE! (And she has about 7 outfits that she wears… eew.) I asked her where my favorite hair clips were and she didn’t know, although she was wearing them at the time. She uses my razor unless I hide it, piles her art supplies in the living room, and leaves smelly food open to the air. Our place smells!
    Every time I try to talk to her about it she tells me to clean and says “you’re the one whining about it, why don’t you clean it up?” When I tell her it’s not her responsibility, I get a long “huff” and a string of nasty rumors floating around campus.
    I would move out, but I CAN’T! I live in a dorm! I have another month of this crap!
    So I guess my question is… where do I hide the body? Okay okay, just kidding. SERIOUSLY JUST KIDDING. But how do I deal with this? She’s impossible and I don’t want her to get angry!

    Reply

  71. May 10, 2007 at 9:01 am, Guest said:

    A POSITIVE THOUGHT regarding our Demon roomates. Just remember, someone upstairs has a better plan for us. Have faith. Clean up the garbage yourself, ie, take it out of all common areas. If dishes are out in kitchen, just put them on the dishwasher yourself, and hope you have a dishwasher. Don’t fight with them, however, a bad day of their crazyness will come and you will probably scream. Just make sure you do whatever you can to keep your peace of mind, even if it means taking out the garbage in the house regularly- with it gone, you will feel better. Never mind them. I yell pretty good when my roomate freaks me out and practically knocks me out as she walk past me wearing jeans that STENCH so bad- you practically fall on the floor, only to go upstairs to find the common hallway and bathroom STENCHIN so bad from her liquor drinking, that you practically puke. She gets a “wailing” from me when that happens. MOST IMPORTANT, keep your job, and be as frugal as possible – so you can be more choosy on your next place and be able to get out of this situation. AGAIN, have faith, but you must do the right things for your peace of mind, even if it means chores in the common area. Trust me, these demon people will take advange as much as they can. So save your pennies to get away from them.

    Reply

  72. June 06, 2007 at 1:57 am, Guest said:

    When my roommate and I first moved in together-it was great!! We both cleaned the apartment at least twice a week, and were always respectful of each others things. Since my roommate got a new girlfriend in January, it’s all gone down hill. He very rarely cleans the apartment anymore. When he cooks, it’s like a hurricane hit the kitchen! I ask him to clean up his mess, he says he well, but it never gets done…and who gets to do it? Me! His excuse is that he’s too busy with work and school, but that’s crap! I went to college for 4 years and had 2 jobs and ALWAYS kept a clean house! What a lame excuse! And it gets better! Not only is he making a mess of the place, but now his girlfriend is too! She has practically lived with us for the last 6 months. She showers here, eats here, does her laundry. And do you think she helps pay any of the bills?? Hell no! And to top it all off, he invites all of his friends over at least once a week and they all get drunk and act like idiots–I have to leave to be able to get any rest!!! How rediculous is that? I can’t even stay in my own house. I’ve tried to talk to him and ask him to tone the messy partying down and not have his girlfriend around so much…but it does no good. He’s so immature and all he cares about is getting drunk and paryting. Thanks the Lord I’m buying a townhouse and moving out next month…I just hope I done’t lose my insanity before then.

    Reply

  73. July 01, 2007 at 2:09 am, Guest said:

    I live with my two brothers. The 2nd brother(I’m the oldest) is neglectful, disrespectful, and abusive. The youngest is alot like me, only he hides in our room to avoid our 2nd brother(I work at night so mostly avoid him). The 2nd bro has his own room at the other end of the house and his own bathroom.

    My 2nd bro uses every dish in the house before cleaning something. He won’t do the dishes, just one dish to use. He over fills the kitchen trash can and will toss trash around the foot of the can rather than pull the bag. He leaves laundry in the washer/dryer and instead of putting it away, lets it spread all over the living room and his room. You can’t tell what’s clean and what’s dirty. I bought him a hamper but he doesn’t use it. He eats our food, uses our toothpaste, uses all our stuff even our bathroom and our socks. His bathroom hasn’t been cleaned since my last vacation, when I cleaned it. If I don’t buy him toilet paper he’ll use my paper towels, which has caused plumbing problems in the past. His bedroom is horrible. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor and uses my linens, I rarely go in there unless I’m missing something that he claims he doesn’t know about, I always find it in his room. The living room, hallway, kitchen and back room we use as storage are littered with his paintings and books. He used to have a storage rental but to save money and time moved it all in here, after much arguing. The kitchen has paint stains everywhere. I’ve found him using my cups as brush holders and using my butterknives as putty knives.

    He won’t do a thing around the house, unless I tie trash bags up and put them by the door, then he’ll take it out to the dump. We’ve resorted to buying cabinets and a mini-fridge and putting locks on them to keep our food and Q-tips(he uses them like crazy littering the whole house with them when he can get some) out of his reach.

    He’s verbally abusive and the only reason I can figure is that he doesn’t want me around, but I won’t retreat to my room like my other brother. He’s(2nd bro) got a conflicting mind or something. He’ll claim that we don’t support him, when I point out how we do support him and how poor we are he says it’s not about money, but he can’t point out how we could support him more than we do, instead he’ll go into how our parents made poor choices and how they should have set him up. He’ll rant about how the world is coming to an end, how we’re all going to die and in the next breath he’ll ramble on about how famous and rich he’ll be thanks to the latest fad idea he’s had. His projections used to be within 5 years, but after claiming that many times over ten years to no avail, he now says “when I’m older”. Maybe he could get somewhere if he stuck with one thing, but he’s everywhere, he can’t keep focus, he’s undicsiplined and he’s paranoid. He’s always angry too. Every day he’s ranting about how people at work are conspiring against him, how people are so evil. And it’s been that way with every job (or group of people) he’s been in. Now he’s into voodoo and seeking revenge. Using chakra stones as his protection.

    We’ve let him stay for the money and because I thought I could help him to change for the better, but that hasn’t been working at all for the past 5 years. We’ve discussed all his problems, but he says he likes the way he is and doesn’t want to, or is unable to, change. He basically wants a slave, one that pays for all his expenses and takes care of all the small things for him so he can focus on his lofty ideas.

    I’m considering bankruptcy. There’s no way I can afford this place on my own, I’ve never been able to. And I can’t qualify for a loan for the amount I would need to clear the house in a sell as it is worth a lot less than I owe. Before I go that route though I’ll be kicking him to the curb in the gentlest manner possible, hoping he doesn’t fly off the handle and assault me physically(He’s done that before) or spiritually with his voodoo magic, lol.

    We can’t wait to be rid of him.

    Reply

  74. July 17, 2007 at 5:57 am, Guest said:

    oh my god i have pretty much the same situation!! me and my boyfriend live with these 3 other guys..
    guy #1 is a homosexual control freak who thinks he can make all the rules but never sticks by them! he says all dishes are to be done before bed which i totally agree with but i end up doing his dishes everyday because he doesnt do anything!! his wardrobe is pretty much in the bathroom floor and he leaves his filthy filthy HAIRY used wax strips on the floor!!
    Guy number #2 is even worse. this guy refuses to buy ANYTHING for the house. he wont buy toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, dish cloths or paper towel or any kind of cleaning product when it runs out.. he complains about buying milk even though he is the one that drinks it everyday and to top it off he refuses to do his dishes until ‘he feels like it’ which isnt very often let me tell you!!
    guy #3 is never home but when he is its like he leaves a trail of mess behind him (and in the oven) and then before anyone has a chance to tell him to clean up he is gone again!
    And another thing… none of the guys put the garbage out!! its like they ignore it. me and my boyfriend are the only ones who ever put it out.. last night i purposely left it in the middle of the kitchen so one of the other guys would see it and take it out but in the morning there was just more rubbish on the pile!!!

    BUT the worst part of all this is that because me and my boyfriend share a room and i am a poor student my boyfriend pays OUR rent so guys #1,2 &3 all agreed that i have no right to say anything about their mess cause i dont pay rent!! gahhh i hate living here!!!

    Reply

  75. July 30, 2007 at 10:00 pm, Guest said:

    best way to deal with it is make him/her deal with the consequences firsthand. For instance, every time you find a roach, kill it and put it in/on an area/object that your roomate will be sure to see it and have to deal with it. for instance, put the dead roaches on his or her clothes

    Reply

  76. August 26, 2007 at 8:01 pm, Guest said:

    can a female friend renting a room from a couple ruin a friendship?

    Reply

  77. August 31, 2007 at 6:55 pm, Guest said:

    I live with two friends. One guy, one gal, I am also a gal. I like them very much, but they are not as clean. I’ve asked them to clean things up (remove moldy food from fridge, help out with the bathroom, dust and mop, etc.) but they do not pitch in. Also with my requests, I like to give time to get it done. We all have busy schedules, but have plenty of time to commit an hour to helping out over the span of a week. I have suggested a schedule but it was not received. I’m really getting frustrated with doing all the cleaning myself. I’m fine with any room not being tended to, but the kitchen and bathroom have to be clean. I don’t know what to do next. Advice anyone?

    Reply

  78. September 04, 2007 at 7:55 pm, Guest said:

    They’re never moving out! Why should they? You pay for everything!

    Repeat after me-
    “We will only help those who help themselves.”

    The simplest way to determine this is usually by how they show their appreciation…

    Reply

  79. September 04, 2007 at 8:05 pm, Guest said:

    Oooh. She cleans everything… Shut up! :)

    Reply

  80. September 11, 2007 at 12:47 am, Guest said:

    I live with three roomates… one of them are(was) my friend and the other i didnt know. First off they were kool at the begining they were okay to pay internet bill and cable and then, they were starting to make the apartment dirty i asked them lets(including me) clean the apartment because the landlord come in at anytime he or she likes to and they said “Fuck off, do it ur self” I said were all in this and lets all take the responsible for our actions and help clean the apartment. I got fet-up with it and start to clean the apartment and I got woren out and exploxied and told them fine u like to have it this way then landlord will find out well they started cleaning. Meanwhile i paying for the cable/internet not much extra to spend and trying to make a living and going to college. I need help, roomates are so inmature and need to grow up to become United States Citizen no be a douchbags and lay on the couch 24/7 and do nothing while i cook and clean the apartment i put up with it

    Reply

  81. September 23, 2007 at 11:22 pm, Guest said:

    I’ve spent a year trying to be Mr. Nice but instead of respecting my wishes and keeping clean, my roommates think I’m OCD. One was in charge of dishes, and when I’d confront him about a “clean” plate that still had pieces of food on it, his response was “I dont see anything wrong with that, you need to calm down, normal people don’t trip about that”
    WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
    And the other shitdick brought home a cat (that I originally loathed but now like) and doesn’t EVER clean it’s box! YOU BROUGHT THIS THING HOME TAKE CARE OF IT!!!
    They have NEVER done anything to clean unless I ask them to, which is always responded with harassment about how I’m OCD. I’m tired of having to be a nagging pestering roommate, but jeez, you need to do your part. I have no problem with a messy bedroom, if you want to sleep in filth thats fine, you pay rent for your room. But my rent goes to the kitchen and the bathroom and the living room so I refuse to settle for filth.

    Reply

  82. October 01, 2007 at 3:13 am, Guest said:

    lol, that’s hilarious because i’m going through the SAME THING. I’ve only been in my 12 month lease for two months now, and my roommates are ridiculously messy. Dirty dishes just chillin in the sink or still sitting on the table or counter. I came home after working third shift to find dirty leftovers on the counter half eaten. They eat half of something and put in in the fridge without anything covering it to keep it fresh. They leave their SHIT EVERYWHERE, and don’t take out the trash, do the dishes, or straighten anything…EVER. And they want to call me OCD. They are like “you have a problem, it’s crazy” umm…there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to attract ROACHES. Right? The worse part is that I am a full time pre med student and work a lot to pay for this stupid apartment, and i don’t have time to play MOMMY! lol, anyways, i feel your pain!!

    Reply

  83. October 04, 2007 at 6:03 pm, Guest said:

    I live with 4 messy boys and myself, i have given up on even attempting to clean up their messes, i spend about an hour a day just picking up after these guys, i started to just throw anything away they left out, but it didnt even phase them when they had to go buy new cereal three times a week, it is utterly ridiculous i dont even dare let company use our bathrooms, i have started to go down the street to a gas station just to use their restroom, i only have another 2 months of this hell, i will never live with these guys again.

    Reply

  84. October 10, 2007 at 2:52 am, Guest said:

    Ugh, my roommate is a freaking baby. I can tell that her whole life, her parents have done everything for her. She didn’t know how to do laundy! She gave away some of my tupperware to one of her friends without asking, lowers the volume/turns off the tv when I’m watching it, never buys a cleaning supply, leaves her nasty hair ALL OVER the bathtub and has never bothered to clean the bathroom. She talks on the phone very loudly when I’m trying to sleep/get work done. The strangest thing is that she shuts the shades at 5:30 pm when it’s still light outside. I don’t understand and it drives me nuts. I’m sick of being passive…I need to tell her!

    Reply

  85. October 16, 2007 at 6:15 pm, Guest said:

    Well, I guess its nice to know I’m not the only one that feels like this. I live with my boyfriend, a friend, and a 30 year old (she lives with us just to help pay the bills).

    My boyfriend and I are pretty clean. If we party on a fri or sat night, we might leave a few beer cans or bottles on the table, but always pick them up first thing in the morning, and thats the extent of our messiness.

    My friend… she NEVER does her dishes. Ever. She will leave them in the sink for weeks, until they start smelling and someone else finally HAS to do them for her, she doesn’t even realize the smell is because of HER dishes!!!

    The 30 year old… she’s 30 YEARS OLD and will not throw away her moldy shit out of the fridge. Living with 4 people in the apt, the fridge is pretty full anyway (besides the fact she doesnt have a car so when her mommy takes her to the grocery store she buys two containers of milk, oj, juices, etc). So I finally cleaned out the fridge because we couldn’t fit anything else in it, and I found two bags of lettuce from over 2 months ago, you could barely tell it was ever lettuce. And she will save like 4 green beans in tupperware, and leave them til they get moldy.

    Also, this is a weird one… she works at a coffee/bagel shop, so she’ll bring home an iced coffee, half gone, and put it in the freezer. The next day, she’ll bring home another one and put it in the freezer. How many half-empty coffees do you need in the freezer at one time? You don’t need to save them, you’re just going to get more the next day!!!

    Someone has stolen a roll of paper towel, not a big deal, but my boyfriend and I are the only ones that buy them so we kinda want to be able to use it… and someone also stole a tub of margarine out of the fridge… who does that?

    I don’t care if you use my stuff, but ASK FIRST, or at least tell me so I can buy some more.

    I just don’t understand how people live like this. Grrrrr….

    Reply

  86. October 17, 2007 at 2:28 pm, Guest said:

    I am stuck with a roommate who isn’t housetraining his new dog (that I am allergic to)… Every morning he leaves the dog in the bathroom and it wakes me up, then I have to clean poop/piss off the bathroom floor before I can shower. Most days I step in something or other in the kitchen. I am going to my landlord with a “him or me” ultimatum soon. Any suggestions or insights, email me, s p a r r a t g m a i l d o t c o m

    Reply

  87. October 17, 2007 at 2:29 pm, Guest said:

    all that spacing and i messed up my email address.
    s p a r r 0 a t g m a i l d o t c o m

    Reply

  88. October 20, 2007 at 8:54 pm, Guest said:

    Honestly, who hasn’t been in this situation. I just spent about 6 hours cleaning and organizing the apartment that I share with 2 other girls, all the while knowing that it is going to be a pig sty again in about an hour. I am just so sick of putting all of my effort into this apartment when they are so willing to live in hell. They both have a lot more time than I do. I go to school full time, work full time, and am trying to make my trans-Atlantic relationship work, and I don’t even have the freedom to sit in my own living room without being inundated by piles of their crap. They come in and just leave their groceries in the living room, I find dirty socks and underwear on the coffee table and under the kitchen counters! There was a dead bug on the bathroom counter last week, and I left it there to see how long it would take one of them to clean it up. Four days later I finally threw it out! Even my dad, who has never cleaned a toilet in his entire life commented on how disgusting the apartment is. I just can’t deal with this any more. I already pay 40% of the rent, which I am willing to do since I have my own room and they share, but if I have to stay in my room all of the time just to not be surrounded by their crap, then I am not going to pay for a living room and kitchen that I can’t use!

    Reply

  89. October 22, 2007 at 10:06 pm, Guest said:

    My friend will eat out of a dish and leave it in the sink for up to a week. This is unacceptable and stinky! I am going to try these tips with her in hopes of getting my kitchen back. The dirty dishes have got to go. I’m a modest person but If the chore does not get done, I WILL throw the whole dish away! I’m a very clean person and I expect my home to be this way also. Thanks again for the information!

    Reply

  90. October 23, 2007 at 12:30 am, Guest said:

    my roommate and i have lived together for over a year. she has never cleaned the house – not even one time.

    she has never emptied the trash in the house, put the trash cans out on trash day and will never bring them in after they’ve been emptied. i’ll leave the trashcans on the sidewalk for a week just to see if she’ll bring them in and they will remain on the sidewalk until i bring them in. she also never throws stuff away. she’ll open a box of food, leave the box on the counter. drink a soda, leave the soda on the counter. make tea, leave the tea bag on the counter. when she does attempt to throw something away, if the trashcan is full of course she won’t empty it, she’ll set the trash ON TOP OF THE TRASHCAN.

    she has never paid for cleaning supplies. never cleans her dishes. i clean her dishes every single day, even several times a day to avoid mice/roaches/ants. the few times she’s done her own dishes, the sponge is bone dry. this is because she just runs them under water and then puts them in the clean dishes rack. there will literally be chunks of greasy food in the saucepans, icecream still in the scooper, grease on all the plates, lipstick on the cups, etc. the dishes actually smell like whatever she just ate. this drives me especially crazy when she has the flu or a bad cold and still is completely careless…as if cold water will kill germs?!? i then have to waste water and re-clean every “clean” dish!!!

    every single time after i bust my ass cleaning the entire house (once a week), without fail, the house will be messy again. an hour after i just disinfect and bleach the sink and counters, there will be crumbs covering the counter and something like spaghetti sauce splashed everywhere, staining the sink i just scrubbed the hell out of!!!!!!!

    i feel like it’s too late to say anything and i also feel like some people are just the way they are and you can’t change them.

    AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! there! i had to get all that off my chest. none of you are alone – i feel all your pain and i’m sure you feel mine. maybe we should all move in together :-)

    Reply

  91. October 23, 2007 at 3:51 pm, Guest said:

    Wow I knew that people dealt with this but I didnt know that there was a place to actually talk about it. I live with two girls, one who I met through my boyfriends ex roomate (K) and the other is my best friend (S). K thinks that a house should look “lived in” I guess that means her crap is every where in the hall way, the kitchen, the living room and even the dining room. She doesn’t like doing dishes or empting the dishwasher but she sure does enjoy cooking her Spegettios and corndogs, oh ya by the way she is 23 years old and her parents pay for her rent, her cell phone, her car and her work clothes,h so she pretty much pays for the entertainment things she does… but her parents also send her money for those activities. K also has the master bedroom and her own bathroom, which the toilet has mold growing in. My other roomate likes to complain to me about how messy K is but when tell her that it is time to clean the bathroom she says she will do it this time because I have done it the last 500 times… she does it but not for atleast a week later and when she does it she does it late at night to piss off K who has to wake up early. Neither one vaccums, sweeps, vaccums, or mops. They dont think it needs to be done more than once a month. I do it all. They talk about not having enough time to clean but they both have enough time to watch football, movies and to have sex with their boyfriends and then talk to me about it afterwards. I have come to the point where moving back in with my mom would be better than living with these two. They probably arent as bad as they could be but its pretty bad.

    Reply

  92. October 23, 2007 at 7:11 pm, Guest said:

    i have a roommate who bitches constantly about cleaning the whole house, and makes a broadway production about picking up a mop. in the meantime, she makes huge messes constantly, and doesn’t realize she’s only cleaning up her own messes. i clean up after myself and refuse to clean the entire kitchen or empty a bathroom trashcan that smells like rotting animals, when i know the kleenex i put in it are not the cause. in the meantime, she is manipulative, and lies about her own dishes, spills, trash, telling the other two roommates that it’s my stuff. it’s just wierd, because she has the exact perspective as you guys, but doesn’t realize she’s only cleaning up after herself, and doesn’t even know how to clean properly. i totally understand the merits of having a clean house, i just refuse to clean up after other people, especially when they are blaming me for their own problems. what do i do about this?

    Reply

  93. October 27, 2007 at 2:17 am, Guest said:

    dam ——-, I live with 3 of them and they never EVER wipe off the counter or stove after cooking. It has been there since we moved in 2 months ago, and I have another 6 left with these slobs. Tonight was the breaking point, they were smoking cigars inside and ashing on the new carpet!!! I huge black hole was burned in it and they were completely drunk and oblivious. I don’t know what to do, I want out of this lease immediatly:(

    Reply

  94. October 29, 2007 at 4:39 am, Guest said:

    My roomate is disgusting. If i dont take out the trash, it will pile up indefinatly. Seriously, he’ll just put his garbage into empty coke cases (which he throws on the ground by the trash) when the trash is full and when those are full he’ll put his crap into bags and put them by the trash… it just keeps piling up and it sickens me. Dishes are the same, i cant count how many times i have cleaned the kitchen and done the dishes and almost thrown up (literally gagging) from some of the shit he leaves there to mold and rot. He leaves his food on plates and milk in cups and just leaves it there! Thats how we got roaches, and his solution: spray them with carborator cleaner (works better than raid) but still we shouldnt have the problem in the first place. He leaves his empty (half empty) coke cans on the floor and his half drank drinks by his chair so when i come home from work i almost always end up kicking something nasty over. He leaves old food in the fridge FOREVER… if i didnt throw it out it would remaine there rotting and stinking and growing in my fridge. I am so sick of his vileness. It is embarrassing when i have friends or family come over and the place smells and the kitchen is a wasteland… and he seems completely oblivious to all of this. I wonder if it ever occured to him that rotting waste and piles of rubbish is hazardous to people health.

    Reply

  95. October 29, 2007 at 4:54 am, Guest said:

    My god, its like we live the same life. My roomate does that exact stuff. I also come home after a grave shift at 7 in the morning to find his plates with half eaten food just sitting on the counter. The same pile of garbage still there, the same clothes everywhere. When i was in the military i hated room inspections but now i almost wish someone could come to inspect and chew him out for his vileness.

    Reply

  96. October 30, 2007 at 7:50 pm, Guest said:

    Got one for you. I am living with a girl that i’ve known for years. She is almost 27, her parents help her with rent and bills. I thought it was bad when she left her nasty hair filled razor on the sink, and when she left a pair of soiled underwear in the downstairs “guest” bathroom, but the last straw was when she left a used maxi pad face up, unwrapped on the middle of the bathroom floor.
    She leaves stuff all over the hallway floor and her room, oh man i don’t know how she gets around in there, but whatever it’s her room, so i can deal with that one.
    I would love to kick her out, but it would be too tight paying all the rent and bills, any suggestions? Aside from maybe rubbing her nose in it like the nasty dog she is.

    Reply

  97. November 05, 2007 at 5:26 pm, Guest said:

    I live with three guys in a rented house and I am just fed up with the conditions. I clean everything and I have to harass people just to attempt to clean up. One roomie in particular is quite the slob. For privacy purposes I will call him Trashy. Let me paint a horrible picture for you about this person.

    Trashy is honestly the most disgusting person I have EVER had the displeasure of living with. Can someone please tell me how as a grown man can manage to leave poop on the floor? Gah, as grown men I hardly see the opportunity for poop to stain the seat of the toilet, I mean come on, it is point blank in range. The sinks and counters have a LAYER of grime, spit, and hair on them constantly. Plus,looking in the mirror is like looking at a metallic surface stained with semen. * the spots are that big and opaque* Various hairs line the floor and bare toilet paper rolls scatter the area near the toilet. Oh, and if only I could somehow share with you all the smell from his room. I don’t know where such a smell could come from. Him personally, the various piles of trash and dirty clothes or his mattress are probably all contributing sources. His walls were covered in boogers for Christ’s sake! How do you even approach that? He is also a relatively big guy so you can imagine the smell emanating from his body when he doesn’t shower or he wears clothing he doesn’t wash, it is just gross. Due to him I have made an effort to not bring friends to my house and even have chosen to stay single till the lease is up. I just can’t take the embarrassment of having people over unless I clean the place from top to bottom. Worst part is he is the cousin of one room mates and he is NOTHING like this. How can there be such a contrast in two people who grew up together? Trashy is not a bad guy, just a horrendously disgusting one.

    Another room mate, which I will call Cloggy, is notorious for clogging toilets. I wish I was kidding, but simply because I am being punished for something I did in a previous life, I am not. This gentleman will clog ANY toilet, everyday and sometimes LEAVE it to sit for weeks. I had to clean up one mess that he left for two weeks and I honestly justified murder in my own mind. Other than this filthy problem, he is an excellent room mate and friend.

    I am not the most cleanly person, but I am by NO MEANS filthy. I make every effort to keep our house smelling good and rodent free. *one reason is I am extremely arachnophobic* Anyone have any advice they can give? If so email it to kylejp009@yahoo.com. I am desperate for solutions as I have tried every tip here and no progress whatsoever has been made. HELP!

    Reply

  98. November 09, 2007 at 4:55 am, Guest said:

    Kitchen Worktops – Oak, Beech, Walnut
    I recently was looking to finish my new kitchen with suitable kitchen worktops and found Barncrest to be an excellent provider of wooden worktops including oak worktops, beech worktops and walnut worktops. Highly recommend them.

    Reply

  99. November 13, 2007 at 3:39 pm, Guest said:

    My roommate has two cats. She told me when we moved in together that they were declawed and wouldn’t ruin my furniture. Well, 1.5 years later, and lots of pulled fabric, I put plastic covers on all furniture. Recently over the summer they peed on the couch twice (before the plastic idea came about) and even with it professionally cleaned, the stain won’t come out. That’s what prompted the plastic. Also, when we moved in together she told met that she has to empty the litter box in the morning and at night (after work) or else they will go outside of the box, like on the floor or wherever. So since she can’t seem to be organized with her life to be responsible enough to actually do what she claims she needed to do to keep things clean, the cats poop on the floor at least 2x a week. I have come home from work countless times to a stench that makes cooking my dinner impossible! To top things off, I politely mention it on a marker board. “before you leave the house could you please make sure to empty the litter boxes because the cats pooped on the floor for the 2nd time this week.” her response “I did empty it before I left. I ALWAYS do.” And always was underlined. So, I responded, “then why does it keep happening?” Of course I get no response since she knows it keeps happening because she doesn’t clean up after them as often as she needs to. So, we’re not speaking anymore and since I have a TV in my bedroom and hers is in the family room, we keep to those separate areas. Lease ends in Feb. only 3.5 months to go. THANK GOD. She told me she found a new roommate = i wanted to respond with “did you tell her how crappy of a roommate you are? Is she aware that you don’t clean up after your cats or that they will ruin all her furniture?” Oh I would also like to point out that the vacuum cleaner that we used for the first year was hers and well since she never emptied the container as often as you are supposed to, it kinda stopped suctioning. She told me that she would get it fixed when I asked her if I should go buy one (it had been about 2 weeks of no vacuuming living with two cats and us two girls – gross). Well weeks and then months went by without vacuuming and without getting it fixed. So I went out and bought a vacuum. It is a nice heavy duty thing. I filled up an entire trashbag full of cat hair in the family room alone after I vacuumed for about 3 hours. 3 HOURS in a 14×17 room. That is how much cat hair there was. Of course she never said thanks for buying the vacuum or for doing the nastiest job of all. So, i am sorry, but asking her to clean up after her animals is not wrong. And I am sure she hates me for it. But I have to just know that I did nothing wrong and she is the one that gave the tainted roommate description.

    Reply

  100. November 13, 2007 at 4:51 pm, Guest said:

    My roommates are rediculously messy. I don’t know what to do besides get pissed. Last night, my boyfriend and I came home and sat on the couch. He realized he had sat on a plate. There were dishes in the couch, as well as a cardboard pizza bottom and leftover pizza. We have a coffee table not even a foot away from the couch! One of my roommates leaves string cheese wrappers everywhere as well as icee wrappers. This morning when I went to find some breakfast, I found dishes from 5 days ago still in the dish drain and one of my roommates had made eggs that morning. The egg shells were still on the counter, because the garbage can 3 feet away was too far of a reach. Also she used my cheese and then left the bag out, because after she used it, obviously it has no use anymore. It is so disrespectful! I don’t understand where she gets the gall to do stuff like that. I could understand it if they were too busy to clean, but after cooking a 3 course meal one of my roommates goes to bed and my other roommate will go out to the bars. I currently am applying to medical school, volunteer, have a job, am getting a 4.0 and DO MY DISHES! how do i find the time?

    Reply

  101. November 15, 2007 at 7:56 am, Guest said:

    I can relate to this on all fronts. For privacy purposes I wont mention names. But I let my brothers fiance move in the house. I never realized how messy she can be. One day last week they were eating and she left a freaking knife with food on my dining room table. That just drives me nuts. I am a neat freak I cant stand a dirty house. I went into their bedroom last week. To play X-box 360 you just wouldnt believe how much of a mess that room was. I was so disgusted I stopped playing it. The thing is I have more things then they do. Yet I manage to keep the house clean. I cleaned the entire house from top to bottom two weeks ago. Would you people know that within a two day span. The house was a mess again. I feel like I live with kids. When they eat they NEVER wash or clean behind themselves. One time the dishes were sitting in the sink for an entire week. Dont get me started on the bathroom I find hair all over the place. My house is a cluttered nightmare. Then when I washed the dishes one week when I was on vacation. She had the NERVE to snap at me for doing it. Stating that it bothers her when I clean up. Because its like I’m cleaning up behind her. Its pretty annoying and its hard for me to live with a person thats messy. Any solutions? Its bothering me fierce

    Reply

  102. November 16, 2007 at 8:47 am, Guest said:

    My ——- roommate

    My current roommate is the worst of all my previous roommates. The biggest issue I have is sharing the toilet. She does not use any toilet paper unless it’s #2. Thus, as she pees and gets up, she leaves behind some drops of pee/blood (when she’s on her period) on the toilet seat. I have asked her a few times to wipe off the toilet eat after use, but she cannot seem to do it.

    She leaves her food uncovered – whether she keeps them outside or inside the fridge. Everything smells terrible (her diet = heavy smelling Chinese food). She leaves moldy milk outside (uncovered) and uses it for something. It smells and looks disgusting.

    She uses the kitchen sink as the bathroom sink. When she blows her noise at the kitchen sink, her nasal mucus gets on the dishes that are left in the dish rack.

    She hand washes and air dries her laundry. The whole apartment smells like dirty mop water.

    Can it be any worse?

    Reply

  103. November 18, 2007 at 2:52 pm, Guest said:

    Four months ago I moved in with a friend of mine with whom I went to school with. She got the bigger bedroom so she pays about 2/3 of the rent, especially since she didn’t tell me the cost of the apartment and went against my rule, which searching, of no rent over $500. We agreed to split grocery bills, but she pays at the checkout so I owe her a decent bit of money, but I think that my debt should be cut down in maid services! For three months of our time there, I cleaned daily in an attempt to keep the apartment immaculate.

    She can go days without a shower, she doesn’t shave, she often forgets to wear deodorant so her clothes end up smelling like BO as they pile up anywhere between the living room and her room, tossed across her bed, chair, desk, and everywhere else. Who gets to clean this up? I do. I get to find every sock she leaves around the couch to every pair of panties she has behind her door so I can take them with my clothes to my fiance’s house to wash them to save her the $4 she’d otherwise pay to wash them in our laundry unit.

    After this, I get to wade through piles of books and manga left tossed around the same route as her clothing. I get to put these away on their proper shelves that they were pulled from just in order to make her bed so that when I return with her clean clothes I can put them all away. I have tested to see how long I could leave them clean in the basket in the living room and she hasn’t touched them in two weeks. It’s my job to hang up and fold her clothes and put them away and organize her hangers which may remain laying wherever or pulled helter skelter about the rods they were left on.

    I fold her socks, 30% having holes in them, quite a few not having any matches, and put them away. Then I get to play “find the dirty dishes!”, my favorite game! As half eaten food is left laying across the apartment anywhere from the living room through the dining room and into the kitchen where they congregate in a giant collection in the sink, along with discarded ingredients for whatever she was making.

    Food wrappers litter the counters festively as other wrappers and papers, old mail, and school papers are left to litter the floor all over the apartment that I must pick up, discern between trash and “important”, and discard or throw them on her desk which is stacked with wavering piles of papers that she doesn’t keep track of or organize, somewhere within holding our electric bills. Is that hidden electric bill paid? Was it paid on time? You’ve got me. She’s in charge of the finances, the bills, the receipts, the debt… confused and forgotten in this unknown martial filing system.

    I wash the stack of dishes and put them away, I wipe down the counters, wipe down the fridge, sweep the kitchen floor and then mop it, twice or three times if I must. I take out the trash and I bleach the trash can; the smell of rotting meat blood that managed to dribble over the bag and into the can weeks ago when she couldn’t be bothered to pull the bag up to assure the discarded package was truly within it.

    The stench of rotted meat fills the air like some sort of acrid perfume as I light a yankee candle to cover up the remaining stench. I empty all of the trash cans and take them to the dumpster and refill the cans before traveling to the bathroom, that horror of a room. The sink covered in hair hair from her hairbrush that she leaves in the way on the sink, two brushes no less, no matter how many times I try to return one to her room.

    The rinse cup giving leave to a wonderful circle of watery dirt, the mouthwash leaving a pretty green ring of sticky alcohol and fluoride residue, melding into the other dirt and hair stuck to the sink. I get to wipe and scrub this off using clorox wipes, same as the toilet, which by some miracle of god or some other amazing being remains stainless in the bowl; our only saving grace. The shower, now up to the brim of the tub with brown and black gunk that I have been slipping on while showering now needs an endless dowse of Kaboom, the tile managing to stay a lot less filthy since I use daily shower cleaner that she insists I use too much of, though it says to spray all shower surfaces. This leads me to believe that she’s not using it properly, making those small efforts all in vain. My only annoyance at this point is that it has gone 4 weeks without being cleaned when this was the only responsibility that I openly endowed to her as a chore that she and she alone would be doing.

    I vacuum the towel mat and sweep the floor. Lots of my hair, I confess, gets swept up, but at least I’m not finding a brand new, yet discarded, razor cartridge that has long leg hairs sticking out of it. I mop the floor, twice if I must, and walk out into the living room. I dust what little shelving we have and I vacuum, moving the furniture because all of the dirt gets in the most amazing places.

    I go into her room and clean the litter, because she usually forgets which leads to her cat pooping on the floor right next to it. I vacuum the excess litter off of the floor, before she can take up camp on the couch as she had all week, unable to tolerate her own mess and the smell of dirty litter box. I’m usually too tired to clean my own room. When people visit, all blame of the mess is mentally laid on me but never spoken.

    I make her bed and place her stuffed animal on top and put her things in order before wiping the walls down, finding black dirty finger prints on doors, doorways, random places on the walls, and light switches. Amazingly, I don’t manage to often find these marks in my own room. I fill the cats food and water dishes, as she’s been too depressed to notice the cats are dehydrating and starving, and then I go to make dinner.

    I keep things clean, I serve dinner, and afterwards I clean all the dishes again and put them away again. After this I retire to my room to find that during the weekend she’d taken up camp at my desk, as I locate an empty chip bag on the floor and my things are scattered around my desk, a drink still sitting on my desk. I clean this up and recall finding a banana peel on the chair earlier, and wondering how long the dvds and tapes I found thrown all across the floor would stay in their place in the cupboard area below the tv and I lay myself down to sleep, 11pm and I must be up at 3am. When I hear this loud laughing, or sometimes yelling, coming from the living room. I prefer the former. The latter indicates that once I hear her door close, I must go back out and clean up the new mess she’d left, enraged that I’d cleaned, paranoid that this was a message that I’m calling her lazy.

    After I clean this up, I manage to get some sleep for about an hour, sometimes two, before she comes out of her room to see I cleaned up what she’d done and does it again, only less so, in her anger. I leave for work and I return… more food wrappers on the counter, her breakfast dishes sitting on the table, while she lays across the couch with a bent up book laying nearby. The floor sticky with something that might be juice, and a glass sitting on the counter next to the completely empty dishwasher.

    Mouthwash garnishes the counter top again, while the mirror is splashed with toothpaste. Clothes laying on her floor again, next to the empty basket and new clothing stickers stuck onto the full length mirror closet door I’d just cleaned. And… do I smell rotting food again? Ah, but this is nothing to leaving her alone on the weekends to her own devises, as I walk in with my fiance who is completely disgusted with the mess that has exploded within the apartment while we were at his house that was not present when we’d stepped out of there carrying hers and my own clothes to wash. She doesn’t make it to school all week, or the week after. No one knows why.

    She has a trust fund which pays for her bills, her rent, her needs and wants. She keeps a very part-time job as practically a hobby. Whether or not she makes it to work depends on if she wakes up on time or not. I walk to work about two miles, less if someone takes pity on me and drives me, so that I can earn rent and pay my bills. And she enjoys screaming at me, which wouldn’t be so terribly bad if it wasn’t for the fact that she most enjoys screaming at the top of her lungs at me over something idiotic if it wasn’t 2am that she decided to do this. Ah, having a room mate is so fun!

    Reply

  104. November 18, 2007 at 11:13 pm, Guest said:

    My boyfriend and i have a roommate. He has his own room as do we. He is very disgusting. He doesn’t shower or help us do one bit of cleaning. The worst part is that he has decided to urinate in several cans/bottles in his room. They sit there for weeks and whatever in those containers before mixes with urine and solidifies. It is just disturbing. He also eats mcdonalds everyday. He leaves old food in there and all of the bags/boxes.if i hadn’t of bought air freshener our apartment would stink. he’s room is awful.does anyone know what we can do?

    Reply

  105. November 19, 2007 at 7:14 am, Guest said:

    Its me again and my problem hasnt changed. As a matter of fact it has gotten worse. One thing I can say my brother has gotten better in cleaning up and washing the dishes. This past weekend his fiance on the other hand. Is just plain dirty and filthy. Okay I cleaned the entire house this weekend. From top to bottom. I done the floors I cleaned the fridge. I cleaned the bathroom. I cleaned my room I clean the living room. I cleaned the dining room. I couldnt believe within a matter of a few days. She has the nerve to leave her f******** brush out in the middle of the sink. Hair all over the damn sink. Then on top of that when I clean the brush put it back. She leaves it out again. Its like I am cleaning up behind a damn toddler. Oh and then last night I go in to check the bathroom. She has nasal drops for her eyes. Doesnt THROW AWAY THE EMPTY BOX!!!! I am pretty fed up to this point. What is the point of keeping a damn empty box laying around the bathroom for?!!!! For decoration I am to the point where I just cant take it anymore. I have simply had enough and come to the realization. I just cant live with her. Dont get me started on what I found in the fridge I found old lettuce from two months ago. Just sitting there waitng to be thrown out. It was brown for godsake I found a cup of pineapple stuck to my DAMN BOWL. Old corn in the fridge brown and freezer burned. I wish she would leave and totally regret letting her move in. Glad I found this site to vent.

    Reply

  106. November 21, 2007 at 3:22 pm, Guest said:

    I’m a girl who lives with 4 other guys in a 5 bedroom house. I have a dilemma here and I could really use some outside input.

    Although they’re not as bad as some of the people described in previous posts, in my eyes, these guys are pretty lazy. They tend to leave their dishes unwashed, they almost never vacuum, they never mop the floor (and it could sure use a mop), once in a blue moon they’ll take out the trash, they never replace the paper towels, they never get the mail, they have a dog that poops in the house sometimes and a cat that throws up hairballs and I always have to say something before they’ll clean it up, and they never really pick up after themselves. One guy orders a bunch of stuff from the internet ALL THE TIME. And he always opens up his packages and leaves all the packaging all over the house with no intentions of cleaning it up EVER. So of course I get to clean it all up. I have guests that come over every now and then, so I like for the house to look tidy.

    Here are a COUPLE things they actually do. Although they don’t take out the trash from inside the house to the outside trash bin, they do roll the heavy trash bin out to the curb weekly for trash pick-up. One guy always replaces the trashbags when we’re out. I think it’s because he needs it to change the cat litter. And that’s really it.

    And most of all, they haven’t said anything about my boyfriend coming over everyday, sleeping here almost every night, and even showering here almost every morning. I’m only paying rent and utilities for myself. When I moved in 2 yrs ago, I was single. But 3 months after I moved in, I started seeing my bf and he’s been coming over everyday for about 1.6 yrs now.

    My dilemma is that I’d like to approach the guys with a Chore Schedule so that we can all take turns doing the chores in rotation, just to make it fair. I did this at my last house and it was quite successful. At times I tell myself that all the extra cleaning I’m doing justifies my bf coming over all the time, so I shouldn’t ask them to contribute more with the chores. Am I right or wrong in thinking this? Should I still approach them with the Chore Schedule idea?

    Reply

  107. November 27, 2007 at 1:32 am, Guest said:

    I have one roommate who singlehandedly manages to clog up all the bathroom pipes with his hair and mucous. He’s also been sick lately and he literally coughs and hurls out his throat snot into the sink and doesn’t bother to clean it up.

    In other words, I have to floss and brush my teeth with a race against time as the snot-filled water (which fails to go through the pipes at even 1mL/sec) slowly rises to the top. If a splash hits me or my toothbrush, it’s as if my roommate has literally horked into my face with his mucousy grossness.

    Oh, did I mention that no one in the house keeps their end of the bargain in terms of cleaning the bathroom? In 3 months, the bathroom has been cleaned twice, with the toilet never being included (i.e. the toilet 0). This is with 4 people using the bathroom…

    And I am not exaggerating when I say that the above mentioned facts are about 10% of my problems with my stupid-as-shit roommates. Moments like this, I realize just how level-headed I am with things like “common” courtesy, consideration, and just all around morality and intelligence. But that also means I suffer that much more around lesser people…

    Oh, did I mention I’m in 4th year? Honestly, now is the worst time for me to have to put up with this bullshit, but I’m gonna have to…

    Reply

  108. November 29, 2007 at 7:38 am, Guest said:

    It’s my first year at univ and I’m living in res. We have a wall that divides our room so that’s pretty sweet but one thing that pisses me off is that he leaves his window open all day and all night. Did I mention it’s winter and fucking cold?

    See, he’s out of his room like 24/7 practically, he doesn’t even sleep here. So he doesn’t feel the cold draft of icy winter air that flows in when he opens the window all the way.

    What pisses me off is that I’ve asked him before to stop and this morning I woke up shivering to open the door and find his window was open, not just a slit, but ALL the way.

    God I wanna kick his ass.

    Reply

  109. November 29, 2007 at 4:32 pm, Guest said:

    Well, I have a roommate who I was once on good terms with (2 months within the shcoolyear) but as her true habits have shown, I have tried avoiding her ever since. I have to admit. It started over a TV cable wire. I had left to go back home on one particular weekend. And when I come back, I happen to see that my TV cable wire has been moved to her TV (we have two separate TV’s but she claims hers has more channels, whatever). She saw my concern and took it upon herself to say that she had moved the cable wire to her TV but never asked me if I was okay with it. My concern: if you want to watch your TV so badly, then buy your own cable wire…and don’t use mine without asking…geez!
    And then, that put my in a bad mood for the rest of the week and I used the “cone of silence” initiative. didn’t talk to her, didn’t bother to meet eyes with her. She finally gave up one time and asked me what was wrong. I explained and she came up with the lamest excuse, saying how, “Well, I don’t know why you’re so upset, but I just wanted to watch some TV. You have everything else: fridge, microwave, toaster…” Well, miss argumentative, what does THAT have to do with THIS? I was just upset because she seems to take my things without asking me first, given that the situation prior involved my bag of kettle chips I had put beside my fridge, and then I find them gone. But silly me, going back to his current TV situation, –I– was the one who apologized to her, and not vice versa as it should have been.
    Also, about the mess: she’s on the messy side as well. We share a sink and there are so many times when some of her stuff happens to “slide” on my side of the sink. She thinks she OWNS the thing, but we only happen to share it. She has so many things under her bed, it’s impossible to play hide-n-seek under there. We all had to teach her how to do laundry as her first attempt made her clothes a blue-ish hue.
    She speaks in a different language in front of me with her friends, so she could be insulting me in front of my face for all I know. She also likes to party and would invite some of her friends over for a sleepover or something, always talking non-stop during the night. And that laugh of hers…
    But the weirdest and most annoying thing, though: her phone would go off in the wee hours of the morning in its highest volume possible, whereas in the daytime, it’s set a minimal volume. I get wakened up by this sudden startling of annoying music and can only get back to sleep for another hour or so.

    Reply

  110. December 01, 2007 at 11:29 am, Guest said:

    My roomate is a 18 yearold —– jock guy and has many girlfriends. But one he has stay over here all the time. Shes a very attractive —— girl, older than him shes 22,but shes really dirty, she wont shower for days and just uses perfume instead.She gets that greasy look, like you can see a glossy shine on her nose.

    Reply

  111. December 03, 2007 at 2:48 am, Guest said:

    I’m living in a quad with a common kitchen area, and the other two roommates are pretty clean. However, one girl does an exceptional job of being messy – almost like she tries. I’d come back from practice, hungry and ready to eat dinner, and there wouldn’t be any clean utensils to use. The dishes would be piled up high enough so that you couldn’t even turn the faucet on without letting water spill off to the sides of the sink. At the beginning of the year, once all the utensils were dirty, she simply opened a new pack (?!) and used them instead of cleaning the dirty ones. I don’t even consider myself a neat freak or anything, but I try to clean my dishes immediately after I use them (or at least in the same day).

    A week ago, before leaving for Thanksgiving, I cleaned up the common area, only to come back five days later to find cheesecake ground into the carpet and a couple of slices in the sink, along with the mound of dishes. There was icing all over the counter, along with empty bottles of beer, and candles strewn all over.

    I also think she tries to see how high she can pile the trash before someone takes it out. When we have her take out the trash (after asking several times), she acts like we owe her big time afterwards. And she acts proud when she takes the garbage out once a month, like she’s exempt from everything else from that point on. Probably the worst thing of all, that attitude of hers.

    It’s gross. You don’t leave dishes in the sink for two weeks. I’m going to have a good talk with her, but I really hope someone REALLY teaches her a lesson one of these days… she has basically no friends because she also has zero social tact. Annoying as hell. Laziest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.

    Reply

  112. December 10, 2007 at 11:58 am, Guest said:

    I just recently moved out of my parents house, I’m 17.. and I found a roommate, whose 20. First three months living without someone helping out around the apartment is awful. I’m always so cranky about how horrible things look, the dishes. In the beginning it seemed as if I did all the cleaning, so I stopped to see as time went by if she’d take her part.. She might have suprised me with a clean livingroom once, but apart from that theres been nothing.
    We’ve gottan very close over these months, and though I love her as a friend and as a human being.. She doesn’t make a very good roommate.
    Which is hard for me to bring attention too since we’ve gottan to be such good friends.

    Reply

  113. December 13, 2007 at 7:18 am, Guest said:

    Ick, my story isn’t as bad as some of the others but still a bit horrid in my terms. My husband and I are helping one of his female friends by letting her live in the spare room of our apartment. It was supposed to be his office but she needed a place to live so she can get resettled and find a new job. Anyways, she’s been helping us with the groceries and all which we both really appreciate since our finances are tight as it is. She doesn’t pay rent, bills or anything, save her own cell phone and college bills.
    The only complaints that I have are her cleaning habits. Her room smells so bad that every time that I have to walk by it, mind you this is a small apartment, it smells like moldy, dirty, BO saturated clothes! It’s awful!! Worst of all, you can smell it throughout the house slightly if her door is open. Good grief, our two cats’ litter box smells better than her room! She’s into gaming and rp so she practically lives in her room, including eating. There’s always a bowl from her last meal or so by her computer. When she’s out to her job, I always close that door just so that I don’t have to smell it. My husband even notices the stench and talked to her about it but I have yet to see any attempts on her part to clean up. Her rooms a mess and a hazard for our kittens. At least she has okay bathing habits but she always leave a clump of hair on the shower walls. EW! Throw that away, please?! Her hair’s already clogged up the shower once.
    I’m the one who keeps the apartment clean, do the bills, laundry, cleans the litter box and etc. My husband works, she works and I take an online college course. We’ve agreed that I will not clean her room or do her laundry and she’s had plenty of time to do her own clothes. So disgusting! I’m even afraid that when she leaves that her odor will not come out of that room.
    Should I put down some rules about the food and the smell even though I don’t bring in the dough?

    Reply

  114. December 13, 2007 at 1:56 pm, Guest said:

    Oh dear, I feel for you.

    But, I must ask, why are you doing her laundry and picking up after her? it’s one thing if doing it is going to make ou feel better. I on the other hand would LOVE it if my room mate would let me pick up after her, but she won’t. But, it doesn’t sound like it is making you feel better. So…don’t pick up after her anymore. Just stop. Let her spend her trust fund sending off her laundry and such. And in the mean time…I’d say move out – you are clearly suffering as a result of the mixed expectations you guys have. Also – you shouldn’t be going into her room at all even if it is to clean – and she shouldn’t be going into yours either. Those are your private areas…that’s a thought…

    Hope that helps and good luck!!

    Reply

  115. December 14, 2007 at 8:55 am, Guest said:

    tell him to sort out of get out!

    that really isnt acceptable, it may be his room but its your house and concidering you and your boyfriend pay most the rent between you,
    i think you are well in your rights to tell him to clean up his act, tidy up his room, and use the toilet once and a while!

    Reply

  116. December 14, 2007 at 4:59 pm, Guest said:

    I know what all of you mean. I am ONE girl living in a house with three guys. (one of which is my boyfriend) We have all lived together for about a year and I have to say I am seriously thinking of turning. No, but seriously it is really hard. I work a very serious job and all of them have pretty laid back jobs. I am constantly coming home after a long day and find not only my room mates but their friends as well. So, I have to deal with not only three dig bats, but 4-8 almost on an every evening basis. Of course, if I say anything I turn into the ogre from you know where. It is never ending.

    Reply

  117. December 17, 2007 at 1:58 pm, Guest said:

    Same situation here with the roommate pissing in beer bottles! Super sick. I also found cigarettes on my dishes that he smokes in my house! My husband and I do all the house work and clean, the least he could do is not smoke and piss in his room! So… today we are packing his filthy room up and putting his shit outside. We are changing the locks and telling him good-bye! You should do the same…some humans are worse than hogs!

    Reply

  118. December 17, 2007 at 4:28 pm, Guest said:

    My gay roommate, and not is in “thats so gay” but as in “she loves pussy” gay drives me bat shit! She never cleans, leaves her dishes in the sink, never lifts a single finger for anything! She is constantly talking smack about me to other friends of ours (we’re the same major). When she drinks, she gets violent. She’s always looking for a pitty party because she is gay (I don’t see a problem with whom she loves, but not all of us want to hear her whine and cry about being gay). I have a countdown going until I move out…. 143 days can’t come soon enough!!!!!!

    Reply

  119. December 21, 2007 at 2:02 pm, Guest said:

    My roommate is the biggest slob I have ever met. She leaves cans of soda wherever she was when she drank them, and leaves beer bottles with half-drunken beer in them on the counter, so the beer ferments and smells awful. She tosses her socks all over the place and leaves her clothes on the floor, you can’t even see the floor in her room. All she does is come home and play World of Warcraft until 4 AM. Worst of all, she has a cat, and I end up cleaning it up, playing with it, and feeding it, because she’s too engrossed with World of Warcraft to pay any attention to the poor animal.

    It took her months to finally clean the toilet. The toilet looked worse than a prison toilet! As for the bathtub & sink, if I don’t clean it, then they don’t get cleaned. The bathtub is actually a health hazard since she never cleaned the tub since before I moved in, so there’s all sorts of mold growing on the tile and the surfaces are sticky. Gross! She shaves her armpits in the sink and doesn’t clean up her leftover stubble. Ugh! Hopefully I’ll be moving out next month. I mean, she’s a good friend, but a sloppy roommate!

    Reply

  120. December 21, 2007 at 10:12 pm, Guest said:

    i feel for everyone on here i live with most disgusting girls ever….. they have ruined all of my pot the kitchen sink stays full of dishes just because they are to lazy to put them in the dishwasher and take out the clean one …so i took all my pots away then they took the microwave away so me and my boyfriend feel like we live in a hotel room b/c we can tstand the mess they have created so we stay in our room all the time … we have talked to them etc. … however one pitched a fit like a 3 year old and tried to get physical with me… the worst part is i still have six more month until i can get out of here…. good luck to all… just can’t believe people can be so nasty!!!!!

    Reply

  121. January 13, 2008 at 9:42 pm, Guest said:

    i LEARNED SOMEHTING THE MINUTE YOU LET OTHER PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIVING SPACE, THEY EXPECT YOU WILL PICK UP AFTER THEM..JUST SAY nooo

    Reply

  122. January 13, 2008 at 10:05 pm, Guest said:

    Hi

    Well why don`t you just get your own appt, and live on your own so you won`t have to put up with her. Obvisously if you got a roomate you must of been aware that that is part of sharing.. does she or anybody has to put up with any of your annoying habit?? I am sure you are not a perfect kid or person are you???? So fix it quick get your own place or go back to live with mom until you can figure out who you can live with.. good luck.

    Reply

  123. January 14, 2008 at 7:45 pm, Guest said:

    Yes, my roommate is awful as well. I’m actually really amused to read this advice column because it’s so hideously like my roommate.

    She’s disgustingly messy, mold grows on her dishes, there are impossibly huge piles of clothes all over her side, she showers maybe twice in a month. She also uses my can opener and puts it back without washing it. (She also steals my toilet paper, toothpaste and paper supplies.) And in the beginning before I knew of her terrible habits, she assured me that she wasn’t a messy person.

    bullshit. I hate college dorms…and I’m stuck for another semester with this terror.

    I’m also extremely bothered by the fact that I’m really tired…and busy writing a paper..and she’s right next to me making out with her retarded boyfriend while he’s strumming endlessly on her ukulele. (God help me please.) I’m praying so hard that he’ll just go the **** away. I can’t stand my filthy roommate as it is. Her boyfriend is making this unbearable.

    Reply

  124. January 21, 2008 at 7:38 pm, Guest said:

    i am also a girl living in a house with guys (just 2 though). i dont think i’ve ever met a pair of lazier human beings in my entire life, to be completely serious. i live in a 2 story house, the guys’ bedrooms are downstairs, as well as an additional living room. my friend and i live in the 2 rooms upstairs, where the main living room and kitchen are located. although they basically have their own living space downstairs, the feel the need to litter the upstairs with their garbage, dirty laundry, dishes, etc. neither of them has put a single dish in the dishwasher, and god forbid hand wash any pots or pans in the 5 months we’ve lived here. i’ve gotten so sick of it that i’ve let their dishes pile up for weeks, to the point of having no clean dishes in the house and eating off of paper plates, but eventually i am forced to cave and do the dishes. my other roommate and i have brought the dishes issue up with both of them, and still nothing has changed. their groceries (sometimes even fridge/freezer groceries) sit on the dining room table and kitchen counters until they are eaten or rotten….and when they go bad they aren’t actually thrown away until at least a week afterwards, usually. they rarely take out the garbage, and on those rare occasions they simply throw it out the back door, not bothering to walk the extra 15 feet to the garbage can in the alley. our electricity bill for the past month was a staggering $320, most likely due to their inability to EVER turn anything off. i constantly come home to every single light in the house on, both tvs on, and the heater cranked up to 75 or 80…all while both lazyasses are not home. i’ve ventured downstairs to find half eaten mcdonalds cheesburgers sitting on the back of the toilet, cartons of half drank, days old milk on the coffee table, pizza boxes piled high, and a floor littered with beer cans, uneaten meals, and yes, even dog shit. i’ve brought their disguisting habits up with them numerous times, and each time i’m the one thats the bitch for saying something. i know what you mean, its never ending and im about to lose my sanity because of it.

    Reply

  125. February 04, 2008 at 6:03 am, Guest said:

    So I’ve read a lot of these so far, and my situation is no where near as bad as some of yours. My sympathy goes out to everyone who has to deal with any of this crap!

    So here comes the frustration.

    I moved in 3 months ago with my female roommate (I’m a guy). I was always under the impression that females were much more tidy than men. WRONG- especially after reading some of these horror stories!

    Everything was going fine, until recently when I’ve begun noticing all the little things that just seem to add up.

    She doesn’t put things away. Her dishes stay in the sink for at least a week with only water in them. Her pots and pans move from the stove to the sink and stay there. There are half full glasses of some brownish liquid that I can only guess is some soda that she never poured out. Her shoes are under the coffee table, her jackets on the couch, her makeup and hair supplies in the “guest” bathroom downstairs.

    She also has a dog. Now, I have no problem with a roommate with pets. However, if that pet owner doesn’t do what they’ve got to do with said pet, it pisses me off. I came in under the stipulation that I had to be cool with her having a dog. No problem. Well, she only takes the 10 month old dog out to go “eliminate” for 5-10 minutes like twice or 3 times a day. Other than the occasional trip to the dog park, this is the only exercise the dog gets. So there is a hyper-active, bored, big puppy that sits in a cage all day with no attention until she gets home. She also doesn’t discipline the dog- but thats another story.

    Anywho, as a result of this boredom/hyperactivity combination, the dog has a destructive chewing habit. As a luxury in the dog’s cage, she has placed a blanket. Well the dog has ripped the blanket to shreds, spreading the cotton stuffing all over her cage and the living room, and occasionally drags the ragged thing out to play with. THEN, my roommate proceeds to LEAVE THE CRAP ON THE FLOOR! And it isn’t just that blanket. The dog got bored in my roommate’s room (where the dog sleeps) and ripped up the sheets on her bed. Well, those sheets are now in the cage with the dog.

    All the while, my roommate is under the assumption, “well, she was gonna do it anyway, why try and stop her…” AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Apart from knowing the error in this thought process, it kills me that she thinks that way to begin with!!

    SO, since I’ve been here, I’ve vacuumed the living space several times, emptying several loads of dog fur, dust, and blanket shreds. I’ve dusted. I’ve done every single one of my dishes in a timely manner (either right as I get done using them, or as soon as I can get back to it- most always within the day), I’ve bought dish detergent, air fresheners (to get the dirty dog smell out), carpet fresheners, I buy ALL the paper towels, I’ve even thrown out some rotten veggies in the refrigerator that I doubt she even knew she had in there!

    Most recently too- and I think this is what set me off- is that I use a George Foreman Grill on an extremely regular basis. And you HAVE to have the grease traps at the bottom to use it- I’m virtually positive you’ve seen it. But as I was going to use it tonight, the trap that was sitting under it was gone. Now, I usually put some paper towels in the trap to soak up the grease, and leave it for a while- all in all it makes for easier clean up. I started to look for it, and couldn’t find it anywhere- in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, utilities room, under furniture, on top of cabinets, EVEN IN THE TRASH- INSIDE AND OUT! Where in the hell could it have gone? Because its not in MY room?

    And as a courtesy, if something happens and its my fault- I ALWAYS leave a note saying what happened, only if I know that I won’t be able to say something about it to her immediately. So, where’s my missing grease trap?

    My parents were worried that I would be a terrible roommate when I was out on my own, simply because I used to have a lackadaisical attitude about cleaning and leaving things out. Well, I never imagined I would be the clean one!

    All that said, she does do a few things around, and the place is a really sweet deal for me. She does wheel the trash out when it needs to be (and brings it back in a few times), the house was fully furnished when I got here, plus utilities are included, and every now and then she’ll do some dishes.

    -BUT-

    Here is my main problem: Since my name isn’t on the lease (I’m paying monthly to her), I feel that I can’t say anything about her habits or her dog, A: because I take care of my stuff and keep it out of her way, and B: because she could just get mad and say “Bye, you’re out!”

    HELP A GUY OUT!!! Is this unreasonable to deal with?

    If you’ve stuck with it this far- you have the virtue of patience. Thanks for reading!

    -B

    Reply

  126. February 21, 2008 at 1:43 pm, Guest said:

    What kind of moronic post is this? Don’t you think that if these people could afford to live without a roommate that they would have done that already? Not everyone can simply “go home to mom and dad” either. You obviously still live at home and have no clue! I happen to have been reading this article because I was trying to find some solutions to dealing with my own filthy roommates. I have only lived here 5 weeks and already I can’t take it anymore. They put on quite a clean and deceptive face when interviewing for a new roommate. The moving process itself is expensive (movers or helpers, truck, additional deposits, my own time, etc.) so the thought of moving again is added to the stress of the current living situation. Not everyone who has opted to have live with roommates does it because they think it might be fun or is even 18-22, most of us do it because that is what fits our current financial situation and for a variety of absolutely credible reasons. Think before you post and good luck to you.

    Reply

  127. February 22, 2008 at 5:12 am, Guest said:

    I lived with one of my closest friends for three years only to realize that his style of slobbishness is unbearable to me. It’s one thing to leave a couple dishes in the sink but it’s another to leave dishes unrinsed with a thick coating of slimy navy bean soup on them, or an old bowl of cereal with sour milk and two cigarette butts and ashes. He also had a small dog that was supposed to be litter trained. By litter trained I guess he meant trained to spread kitty litter all over the kitchen floor and to pee on the shallow piles of it found anywhere in the house. He is seriously disgusting when it comes to hygeine also. For atleast 6 months, he didn’t even have a toothbrush in our bathroom. This prompted me to take mine to bed with me each night, fearful he’d decide to finally brush and use mine. I tried talking to him. This only got me alot of defensive excuses and promises to try harder. I came home one day and he announced he had cleaned. By cleaning, I guess he meant straightening up because although there were no dishes in the sink or dirty laundry in the bathroom, the floors still felt sticky and the bathroom mirror still had specks all over it. And to boot, I found several dirty dishes in his bedroom. At a certain point, I had to go buy more silverware and drinking glasses because he had taken to hiding dirty ones or just throwing them in the garbage, apparently allergic to washing them. Eventually, I gave up and because he was my friend, I tried to accept his piggish nature. I began leaving my own dirty clothes in the bathroom and short of being able to actually leave dirty dishes set out, I started eating only takeout and filling the garbage can with my containers. I stopped vaccuming and pestering him about the dog. I started keeping my bedroom door shut so that the mess would not overflow into my private clean space. At first it was fine. Everytime I would start to get angry about something he did (broke in through the kitchen window and left a mess of glass on the floor…etc.) I would quell the feelings and remind myself to let it go. But, eventually I got depressed from spending so much time in my bedroom with the door shut. I felt like I was paying half the rent for a tiny, clean bedroom, not a whole house. And having give in and contributed to the mess, I felt I had lost all authority on the matter. I announced, after three years that I would be moving out in two months. He was wounded, a bit, but got over it. These days, I live alone in a clean apartment while he also lives alone, but in hideous squalor. You can’t change people, especially those with exteme tendencies. You either have to grin and bear it, do the best you can, or just live alone from the getgo.

    Reply

  128. March 10, 2008 at 1:15 am, Guest said:

    yeah, from August to March I’ve been with three messy girls, completely disrespectful, will not compromise, and always make huge messages in the kitched, bathroom, and living room … and never clean it. I work hard to keep things clean, but they are rude and disrespectful and have also said I’m OCD, and say things about me to their friends, and that’s the worst part of all. If they were nice girls who tried a little bit, I could deal with cleaning a lot. But they are so rude and unfair! So not only do I have no choice but to clean up after them if I want a nice place to live, but I also have to deal with the fact that they are mean, selfish young girls who aren’t worth my time … they really just serve to make things difficult. I can’t see the positive with them. I work hard around here, with no apparent benefit … pay equal rent but feel completely shafted. I’m guessing that’s how a lot of you feel … maybe … good luck everybody. Sorry I don’t have more advice. I sometimes think I should just live in my car. But that wouldn’t work.

    Reply

  129. March 24, 2008 at 9:05 pm, Guest said:

    I just asked the same of my roommate, to be honest, because I feel like I do the majority of the work (dust, sweep, mop, keep the place picked up, etc.). I wrote a note and then discussed it with her. She flew off the handle because I mentioned that I might start leaving a to do list for to complete since I work two jobs and am a full time student. My suggestion is to sit down and mention it to them again. Tell them how you feel and how it is affecting them (I said that it’s starting to mess with my schoolwork, that I’m tired enough when I get home after work), say that you know they are busy as well but that you do need help…perhaps they’ll be more receptive than mine (who tore up the note, said I was being crazy about “dust on the floor,” and stormed into her room).

    Reply

  130. April 15, 2008 at 8:43 am, Guest said:

    I am so happy to find all of your comments, because they make me feel like Im not alone!

    Today I wanted to just rip my hair out because of my roomate! I live with 3 other people, and I only have a problem with 1. I cleaned up last friday and had it out with her because she never does anything unless its “scheduled” or a “planned cleaning day”. Days in between those cleaning days are littered with dirty dishes around the apartment, dirty clothes in the bathroom, food on the stove, pans on the kitchen table, a hairdryer in the middle of the living room floor? KILL ME!

    Ive tried to talk to her about it a million times, but she just tells me that I’m crazy and that its not normal to be as clean as I am, because to her the place looks spotless. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore and I just want to move out because my words are obviously not getting through her thick skull.

    I usually just pick up after her, because she kind of convinced me that im the one with the problem of having to have things completely spotless. Hey, I don’t mind if you leave your cup in the living room… but after 3 days of it sitting there, i just have to pick it up! Maybe I’m OCD, but ive lived with a few other people before and Ive never had problems like this.

    Reply

  131. May 01, 2008 at 10:44 pm, Guest said:

    College Suitemates

    My story isn’t as bad as some of yours, but it sure makes my life a living hell.
    Okay so I go to a pretty small school and we have pretty cool residence halls (dorms) Where we live there is suite style living. Each suite has a kitchenette with a fridge, microwave, small counter, sink and some drawers. 3 people share a bathroom with a toilet, sink and stand up shower. There is also a common living room area. 3 people live in each suite and they get their own bedroom with a bed, desk and dresser. The suite is designed so that one room (A)’s door faces the main door, and the other tow (B) and (C) are past the kichen and living area and are across from the bathroom. I am in room C. I get along really well with the girl who is in B, Kelli. we have gotten to be pretty good friends in teh 5 months that i have lived there. But the girl in A is a whole ‘nother story. Lets start out with the fact that she is a smoker. I asked the school to not put me with a smoker, but i guess someone has to, so we got stuck with her. she doesn’t shower very often either. So pretty much our whole place smells like body odor (BO) and smoke constantly. It wasn’t so bad last term because it was just her. But recently her other friend, also a smoker, comes over pretty much everyday. And her friend, who doesn’t live her, but does live, oh 2 min walk away, decides shes needs to use our dishes, TV, etc. Its not only that, her friend also smells like BO, but its way worse. And pretty much i don’t know if she owns the same looking clothes but Ive seen her 3 days in a row, all the same clothes. And also, now this is pretty graphic: she goes number 2 in our place. Even i don’t like going number two there and I try to take a shower right after so the smell goes away by the time i get out. I think it is very rude, especially if you live basically in teh same building, to go poop in other’s rooms and to use their dishes, tv etc. I am a nice person but I want to say “GO TO YOUR OWN ROOM” but i haven’t (yet). aside from being totally gross, the roomate, not the friend is also very paranoid. she looks the door every chance she gets and will even look her bedrom door when she is watching tv, so stupid. and another thing about her friend is that ( i love to sleep in and my classes don’t start till 11am) she comes over at 10 in the freaking morning. she doesn’t just knock and leave, she knocks so hard that its woken me up a few times. My room mate and her friend should just go get a seperate place together and have a grand ol time in each others smelly and disgusting ways.
    like i said, this is by far not the worst story, but i needed to vent, so thanks everyone for listening to me!
    -Courtney
    PS: only 43 more awful days till i get to leave and have a clean place!

    Reply

  132. July 01, 2008 at 6:09 am, Guest said:

    My story, i can’t even begin to explain, but i sure as hell will try! Well me and my boyfriend hit it off the second we met, yet his roommie brother was a harder person to please than G.W.Bush Himself! I really don’t know why he never warmed up to me being around until i moved in. I had my own apt and life was great especially with my and M. One day M was talking about what it would be like to live together, and i couldn’t have been more thrilled with how intimate we were getting. After talking about our bill problems one day we decided that with me moving in with him would save a lot more money for pleasure for us two rather than obligated bills. So what did i do? Anyone? Yea, i moved in with M and his rather unpleasant brother. Space isn’t limited though, it’s like a dream apt, with two front doors, the whole second floor with three bedrooms, and an attic for pool-playing. Life seemed like it couldn’t get any better, but then again it never really is what it seems. After awhile i realized what a problem-maker his brother really is, like insisting on having his drinking buddies here every night until 3am or later. Ok, i’m no Taco Bell here open for your enjoyment. hehe Well lets just break it down to our daily routine for better understanding.

    8am- M wakes up and watches his daily shows
    10am-I get up and time for cleaning. (Start with the upstairs with old beer cans, and then downstairs to clean more beer cans in the bathroom, living room, and of course the kitchen. Afterwards i resort to the dishes which look like they haven’t been touched since the stone age, but don’t let appearances fool you. I’m sure that piles only been there for two days.)
    12pm-After dishes are done, then i start on laundry (which i get bitched at for b/c we use the same plug for the washer as we do the microwave, so by the time T rolls outta bed at 2ish-3pm, he can’t make food b/c of our laundry. Typically. Around this time M helps by cleaning up the bathroom, living room, etc, then go’s back to his shows.
    8pm-Laundry’s done and time for relaxation, yet hard to do with the party going on outside my bedroom door, sometimes i have to crank my t.v. on a high volume just to drown them out every night.
    11pm-Try to sleep and can’t b/c of loud noise.
    3am-i’m pissed and tried and still haven’t sleep, yet the jokers seem pretty content falling asleep on the floor or wherever.
    3:05am-I go to the bathroom before i drift off for the night and slip on piss on the floor, or sit on a wet seat. Not fun at all!

    As of always this same routine happens every day after day. Do i get respect for it? NO, but i sure as hell get more work and headache from it. One time T was drinking heavily and didn’t like they way i said someone to him, and needless to say he threw me up aganist the wall, almost had a knife to my throat when M came in and tackled him for it. Barely a slap on the hand for any drunk, so he got up and started a rampage on the apt, breaking everything in sight. We had to leave by this time, but when we got back he had a knife in his hand asking for me repeatedly. Creep much? If that ain’t bad, by the time i got enough courage to step foot in our apt i found broken cds of mine laying on the floor, missing items never seen again, as well as irreplaceable baby pictures from my grandparent’s torn up on the floor. Worse than that? The fact that that little mutant even had the balls to take my dead father’s pictures and tear them to shreds , and all he does now is laugh about it, like its freaking funny or some shit?!? I mean wtf? Not the only time my stuff got broken, or he freaked out cause he was too drunk, more like an every other week thing. Living here is draining me mentally, physically, and money-wise.

    Now this lazy fruitcake is living with me and M getting in the way of our relationship, as well as causing problems between us two b/c his g/f and brother hate each other, understandable but wouldn’t you hate him too? This dude is 20 yrs old, doesn’t bath, work, or lift a finger unless its to cook up someone i bought for me. Yea so me and M are paying the bills and this kid’s just sucking it all up. I really don’t know what to do, b/c my man wants to help him get on his feet, when he has no desire whatsoever to get a job, license, or ged….he’d rather be another waste to society. I’ve already thought about him getting evicted or kicked out but none of that will work b/c he’s a crazy mofo and will destroy my relationship, car, belongings, which i can’t afford or want to lose. I’m at my wit’s end and thought of every possible solution but none helps what i’m dealing with here. The only think else i can say is HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any real advice would be greatly appreciated and willing to hear threw email, get ahold of me at sarahsweetums21@hotmail.com with RE:Roommie Trouble

    Reply

  133. July 15, 2008 at 11:30 pm, Guest said:

    I have been living in a houseshare with two (2) other girls. I have been here for almost a year and out of the eight (8) years that I have been living on my own, this is the first time I have ever had roommates. I am a super duper neat-freak/fanatic and these girls seriously go beyond the definition of “DIRTY.” Never in my life have I known girls to be as filthy and disgusting as these two (2) are. I am constantly cleaning blood and piss off of the bathroom toilet seat from these two (2) girls. They take showers and leave the globs of hair in the drain to clog up the tub. They leave dishes in the sink, food in the kitchen sink drain catcher…what does it take to knock the food out of the catcher in the garbage?! I found a friggin’ cockroach on the stove yesterday. I allow the girls to use “MY” Microwave and yesterday when I went to heat something up, there were two (2) styrofoam containers of rice and beans which accumulated mold from sitting in my microwave for days…this is a thirty-nine (39) year old woman that did this mind you!!!!! I can’t take it anymore, I do everything in this damn house! I am constantly changing the garbage liners and paying for the liners myself. I take the garbage pail down to the end of the driveway for pick-up and bring it back in at the end of the day. I am constantly scrubbing this house from top to bottom. I have really been putting my foot down lately and telling these girls that this filth don’t jive with me, but these just don’t care. The thirty-nine (39) year old woman walks around the house in her nasty shit-stained granny panties, with her private parts hanging out. I have told her numerous times that it is offensive and embarrassing to me, but she refuses to cover-up before coming out in to the communal/shared areas from her bedroom. Whenever I complain about being tidy/clean, I get blamed for having mental problems, being too uptight and serious and that I’m OCD…damn straight I’m OCD about Cleanliness!!! I was raised to be clean, not be a godforesaken filthy, disgusting, revolting pig!!!! I was finally left with no other option but to go to the landlord because no matter how many different approaches I’ve taken, it just will not change. The landlord said he would talk with the girls…hopefully this will put some fire under there butts!!! I do everything in this house…I refuse to live in filth!!! I am truly shocked and appalled that WOMEN live like this. Oh and did I tell you that the thirty-nine (39) year old girl is a doctor…could you imagine having her treat you in the hospital…I would scream bloody murder and that woman would not touch me with a 90,000,000 Foot pole!!!! I hate having roommates!!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!

    Reply

  134. September 01, 2008 at 8:09 pm, Guest said:

    I have to vent about my lazy roommate. And lazy is being nice. I’m about ready to go downstairs right now and scream at her for not doing anything. We’ve been living together for 8 months now and she has barely done anything in that time. I know she has never mopped or vacuumed and has never cleaned the upstairs bathroom that she showers in. We live in a good size house and I don’t ask her to do much. I except her to keep the downstairs bathroom clean because her bedroom is down there and she mainly uses. Yeah right it hasn’t been done in weeks and the last time it was cleaned I did it. And it’s a small bathroom. Just a sink and toilet. How hard can that be. The only time I’ve ever seen her clean is if I set a night aside and make her help. But that’s a pain in the ass because I have to get a babysitter for my son and it’s not worth it when there is no reason the cleaning can’t get done a little a night for the week. Thank god she actually puts her dishes in the dishwasher cause if she didn’t I would flip. I’m at my whits end with this girl who is a good friend and I also work with every day. I don’t know what to do. She needs to help but I’m afraid if I flip too much she’ll just move out and I can’t afford the rent on my own. I work full-time, go to school and have a 14 month old (who is neater than her). My mom says I’ve been nice enough and need to tell her she needs to pay $50 more a month for the lack of cleaning and lack of buying things we both use (laundry soap, toilet paper, etc). Anyone have any ideas? Does charging for being her “maid” seem fair?

    Reply

  135. September 11, 2008 at 2:54 am, Guest said:

    This is a great place to vent. My roommate is a dirty slob too. We’ve shared an apartment for a year and a half, and still have 6 months left on the lease…then I’m getting the hell out of here.
    He doesn’t clean, the only time he’s ever cleaned was when he had guests come visit him. Both times he had guests they stayed for over a week, in the living room. We share a bathroom. He has stained the sink, the toilet lid, the walls. He won’t take the trash out or contribute to cleaning supplies or even put his dishes in the sink. The countertop next to it is too far away. When he tries to cook he throws a slab of steak on a hot pan without oil and smoke fills the kitchen. When he brings his dinner in (most nights) he leaves the paper bag/plate on the kitchen table or on the counter. His idea of cleaning, whch happens when he needs counter/table space, is taking the bag and setting it next to the trash can, EVEN IF THE TRASH CAN IS EMPTY. He can’t bring himself to open the lid. After having cleaned the place this whole time, I decided to stop, so now I only clean when he travels on business (once in a while) and enjoy having a clean apartment then. When he’s here I avoid cleaning his mess as much as possible. He brings random dudes over, his bedroom is next to the living room, so sometimes he’s hooking up when we’re in the living room…and someone will walk out of the bedroom wearing just their underwear (if that much). And the dudes are always ogres. I’ve woken up late at night to find a stranger walking out of the bathroom (next to my room). I’ve gotten so mad that I’ve wished he were dead, or kicked out of the country (he’s not from the US and is here on a visa). Or arrested. I’ve imagined scenarios where I’m calling his mother to tell him he’s dead. I’ve even thought about calling his work and making up shit to try to make him lose his job. I’ve never been a violent person but this guy’s laziness, lack of consideration and his stupidity really make me want to fuck up his life. I’ve had tension headaches, muscle aches, and chronic anxiety. I hope he wakes up dead.

    Reply

  136. September 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm, Guest said:

    I think if she’s seriously not helping around the house, to sit her down and ask for $50 would be fully reasonable. But for that price, you would have to promise to clean all her dishes and the house fully alone. It could be worth it and she could be happy to not have to bother with any of that stuff.

    I love my roommate but she only cleans when she has guests coming over and hires a family member to come clean her room – she’s really that lazy.

    I just have accepted that I need to do all the cleaning and consider the fact I don’t have to pay the full rent my reward.

    If I nagged and bitched at her more than I already do I could end up forking out the full rent as I don’t want to live with strangers.

    Reply

  137. October 06, 2008 at 3:27 pm, Guest said:

    I can totally understand and feel for the people in the stories above.

    I live with a girl that is 23 years old and she acts like a 12 year old. Her room is half of our large living room and there is a portable wall to make it a little more private. But when you first walk into our apartment all you see is all of her shit thrown everywhere and her cleaning her room is pushing everything under a blanket on the floor.If that isnt bad enough I cant tell you the last time she picked up after herself the coffe table in the living room is covered in dirty dishes and just piles of crap. She even keeps a pillow and blanket on the couch. I get so tired of her not helping out with any of the chores. If the garbage is full she just takes off the lid and starts staking it even higher. If the sink is full of dirty dishes she will start a pile on the counter. The only clean place in the whole apartment is my room. I am going nuts!!! I mean I am not asking for alot here jsut a little help. And the other day I noticed that she is eating all of the food that I buy. And it wouldnt be so bad if she helped with the bill… but nope. How can I get her to do her part without being mean about it? I just am going crazy with her just sitting around doing nothing and watching me do all of the work. And I am working,going to school, and am involved in alot of activites as well. And her only commitment is work.

    Reply

  138. October 11, 2008 at 10:50 am, Guest said:

    i have the worst roommate ever! she is so disgusting and disrespectful! She eats my food so I had to put a line down the middle of the fridge which she promptly complained about and called me a baby. She steals my EXPENSIVE hair products. She lets her dog who hasnt had a bath in over a year lay all over my couch even though i asked her politely not to on several occasions. And she leaves all of her laundry hanging all over every conceivable surface in the common area for it to “dry” (even though we have a dryer). The only time she cleans ANYTHING is if her parents come over and last time i went in her bathroom there was an inch thick coating of black dog hair on EVERYTHING which made me strongly reconsider going down the street to the 7-11 for a cleaner bathroom (mine was occupied by my brother). She lets her dog eat out of my nice bowls and she stacked my shoes and purse in front of my door while she was “cleaning” yet that was the only thing that got “cleaned”. She also lets her dog pee on the floor and doesnt clean it up. And yesterday she turned the modem & router off that i pay for/own and refused to turn it back on because she was “sleeping” even though i confronted her 30 seconds after she turned it off. I’ve had many roommates both male and female and messy and clean that i’ve never had any issue with but this is absolutely ridiculous! I’ve been very polite and adult about the entire last 4 months but last night was the straw that broke the camels back and i turned the heavy metal channel on tv at full volume until she turned the modem back on 45 minutes later. We are 24 years old, why do we need to live like this? I’m disappointed that i had to stoop to her level to get things accomplished.

    Reply

  139. November 01, 2008 at 2:06 am, Guest said:

    My roommate, ugh. I bought a nice 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment and decided to take this friend of mine to sort of split the monthly costs.

    Like all these entries have in common, my roommate is a slob. Yes he leaves the dishes in the sink. They pile up so that the dishes are starting to hit the faucet. He leaves his crumbs all over the kitchen and doesn’t contribute a damn thing to cleaning the place. I seriously am thinking of kicking him out if the strategies provided in the article do not pan out.

    When I remind him to clean up, he laughs at me and doesn’t take me too seriously. He thinks cleaning the apartment is just a big joke. I think I might ask him to find a new place before the end of this semester if he can’t get his shit together.

    Reply

  140. January 09, 2009 at 8:34 pm, Guest said:

    OHMYGOODNESS
    I can sooooo relate to everyone here! I thought it was just me! My husband and I live with 2 roommates in a 4br/2ba house. We have a dog and the roommates decided one day that they would get one too (Without asking, they just brougt one home one day). This dog was tied outside in the back yard, right next to our bedroom window and it would whine and whine all night long, until one day…. Let’s just say a family member knew someone who would actually feed it and take care of it (Thank God)-Pet neglect is horrible, it disgusts me.
    Aside from the dog problem, These people are F-I-L-T-H-Y. An outside gas station bathroom is cleaner than theirs. The smell in the bathroom makes me literally nautious, I have no idea how the even stomach going in there, much less using the facility. They also have two children, these children stay w/ them two or three days per week (Long story). The kids are disrespectful and the older girl (age 6 or 7) bathes with the young boy (age 3) unsupervised.. in our bathroom b/c they don’t have a tub. The kids use our toilitries, etc so we buy new ones because its disgusting (Imagine someone using your bath poof and what they wash-then you using it UGHHHHH)As if that were not enough, they MAY do dishes 1x per week after the sink has filled completely and we’ve nagged about it. Oh, the clothes, we share the washer and dryer and for some reason EVERY time i go to do laundry, their clothes are in the washer or dryer… WTF? She doesn’t work? How can she be wearing that many clothes? Oh, and there’s a basket of dirty moldy clothes next to the washer that’s been there for ever. Also, they apparently smoke pot… They deny it, but somehow the entire house smells like pot every night and everytime we return home after they’ve been here! So, there’s a new dog now that just appeared, apparently she got it for her daughter who is never here, this dog uses the bathroom EVERYWHERE in this house! They NEVER take it out… I assume b/c she sleeps so much? Or is busy with other things during the day-like not doing clothes, dishes, or taking care of her kids that aren’t here??? I am so disgusted with the filth of dog urine and poop, the stinch of the filthy bathroom, the cups and moldy dishes, the pile of old dirty clothes in the hamper, the clothes still in the dryer and washer, the stinch of DRUGS and the lies, I’m so fed UP with these filthy people. They are the most disgusting people alive i think!!! I no longer eat here, she does the dishes maybe one time per week if were lucky and she’s disgusting so i can imagine how much time she spends cleaning a dish! UGHHHH THE FILTH IS TOOMUCH!!!

    Reply

  141. January 20, 2009 at 4:38 pm, Guest said:

    I feel like this would be a really good place for people like me to find roommates, ha. Get everyone who is fed up with there roommates and put them all together in one giant clean OCD freak house. My roommate claims I have OCD as I can see a lot of people’s roommates have claimed the same of them.

    I was best friends with my roommate all through high school and finally thought it would be fun to live with her for my last year of college. I went from the cleanest home (due to my mother) to the disgusting pit from hell.

    Honestly, I think I am better for it. It started with quite a few drunken arguments of me yelling at her about the gross mess and how she just sits around everyday while I’m at work and her yelling back at me about how I’m just like my mom. It still amazes me that she will come home and say, “it smells in here” and not realize that it is because of the food and trash she throws in our sink.

    I recently cleaned the entire house from top to bottom and came home to her playing beer pong in the living room over the carpet because it was too cold outside.

    The weird thing is, she will keep her room clean, but not the kitchen or other common areas, which are much more important to me because I use them so often; I just sleep in my room man.

    After the initial drunken outbursts, I eventually just started cleaning up after her. Then I stopped caring for a little while and left the mess. She finally started cleaning up a little. Its still pretty bad, but when something is gross, I tell her and say we are going to clean it today or tomorrow.

    I think she never learned respect for others under the same roof. Since I have so much history with her, I don’t mind just telling her to do something.

    Actually I tried this one for a while and she got all butt hurt that I was telling her what to do, so I told her, “when you sign a lease agreement with other people, you are both responsible for what happens to that place financially, and in all aspects. You have a responsibility to the other people on your lease to allow them equal use to common areas, which means they need to be usable. Hence, the mess needs to be at least organized. I don’t enjoy TELLING you what to do, and I’d rather not play the role of Mommy, so maybe you should join the real world and take responsibility for yourself.”

    It’s not your job to make your roommate a better person, but it won’t hurt to sit down and provide a convincing argument that they need to keep common areas clean.

    On the bright side, as I mentioned before, I am better for this experience. I have learned to deal with mess and I have a feeling that will help me practice for when I have kids of my own (whom I will pound cleaning skills into for there entire lives).

    Reply

  142. January 20, 2009 at 4:46 pm, Guest said:

    that’s what I said!!! I’m telling you , one big communal OCD house. yay!

    Reply

  143. January 27, 2009 at 12:40 pm, Greg said:

    I am a messy person. My roommate knew this when I moved in. Both had seen my apartment from before, one having spent many nights at my place, the other having seen it and both found it disgusting and told me so prior to us moving in together. I said I would work to improve on my cleanliness because I wanted roommates since it would save money, but that I am a messy person and that is how I am. One of the two even said that was fine that she likes cleaning. Within the first week together she was freaking out over it got a sub leaser, and now both of my roommates the one who knew me before and the sub leaser whine and complain about our different lifestyle choice.

    They are both behind on bills and the one even told me that he is purposely not paying bills because I don’t keep the place clean enough. It is absurd to think because you’re the more clean one that you get to dominate and push your ways on another person. Maybe your ways bother that person. They are equal partners and have as much a right to have things their way.

    My roommate the “clean” one has an annoying habit of using the table in front of couch as a place to keep his papers and soda bottles and cluter for a few days till he has friends coming over an cleans and is mad I dont see a need for it, and he uses the couch as a place to sleep and keep his blankets and pillows, yet I don’t argue about that because its his place as well.

    If people want roommates who are clean freaks (honestly having to do dishes right after finishing using them, I never heard of such a thing. It is common to let them sit and do a bunch together come the weekend or a few days later. Even my clean roommate does that, not the one who moved out but the other one) then the clean freaks need to look at the peoples place they live in before they move in with you. Don’t just expect someone who has a messy apartment to be perfectly clean because you’re a spoiled brat who is used ot getting your way at home!

    Don’t Assume everything must be your way and that your way is the right way!

    Later today I am looking at a one bedroom apartment. I will never take in a roomate again. I did it to save money but between their whining about things they already knew about me and the fact that I am the only one to pay rent or bill in a while, the savings was little. We were best friends now one I dont talk to as that one screwed me out of a lot of money and the other I barely can stand to be around because he is screwing me out of money as we speak. Live alone, it is worth the money! I lived alone for 3 years prior to moving in with roomate, biggest mistake!

    Reply

  144. February 18, 2009 at 4:06 am, Medusa said:

    My roomate has been unemployed for two months, and her father is paying all her bills right now, and she not only makes a ton of messes, but refuses to clean up after herself. She will clean up a mess she made if I point it out, and say ‘Hey, can you take care of this?’ but its like…I have to nag her for every single time she leaves something, or she won’t do it. The other thing is sometimes I’ll ask her to help out, and she does a half ass job, and leaves a mess from cleaning up; like I asked her to sweep/mop the floor because I was working all weekend and there were people coming over (plus I’d already cleaned up all her kitchen messes this week), and there is still a bucket full of old soapy water with the mop in it sitting in the kitchen, for about 3 days now…and I was trying to leave it there because I wanted her to clean up after herself. I do like things really clean, but I am a busy person, and I don’t like to spend a ton of time cleaning up. I totally don’t mind if there are some things left out for a few days (as long as it isn’t food/wet rags/other items that can attract bugs & mold)…I myself leave my stuff out from time to time too, its understandable, but I really have to get on her ass and act like her mom to get her to help me out…which I find really unfair, not just because she isn’t doing her share, but because she has no work or school obligations, daddy is paying for her share of everything, and she has been unemployed for about 4 months now, and doesn’t do anything! I have both work and school, and I have to clean the house, which I barely have time for as it is…how is this fair >:p ?

    Reply

  145. July 14, 2009 at 12:14 pm, guest said:

    wow,
    my spirits have lifted monumentally after reading the above stories. I feel however it’s my duty to purge my own and perhaps loosen the load, ya know?

    I decided against a nagging intuitive judgment to move in with two co-workers & friends. I get along smashingly with the one girl. We are good at the communication thing, which is key. It’s so hard living with people especially when you’re all at different stages in life. Some people are better at communicating than others, and some people’s ideas of clean…I am learning…are quite different in their “stages of evolution” than others.

    My one roomate gobs in the sink and let’s it harden. Her pubes collect in the tub drain collection chewbacca thing. Yes, when her shower had stopped I gently tapped on the door and asked her, while she was still in there to look “way way down and..yeah, see that thing? holding all your trying to escape pubice refuse??? think you could clean that sweetums? thanks a bunch….”

    I’ve tried the delicate notes….tried the chore sheet….and we have tried a communal discussion, but to no avail. This roomate is a sloth. She does the crying thing a lot when confronted, and now is threatening me with abusive behavior. What’s a roomie to do here? Save the emails? As evidence??? Geeze. If they find my body ……. one never knows.

    Reply

  146. September 12, 2009 at 1:35 pm, Anonymous said:

    I live with two sisters, one is 25 the other is 22. They still call their mom “mommy” and it is obvious they have been spoiled rotten their whole lives. I take out the trash and recycling, clean the common areas and the bathroom and if I ask them to take a turn they get really defensive.

    They leave their dishes for days, sometimes weeks at a time. I love to cook but our kitchen is tiny so before I can cook I have to clean up all their dishes in order to use the counter. I do this every night after work but every day when i come home, it is messy again. I also do my best to keep the table and sofa clean in the kitchen because we don’t have a living room. It is a two bedroom apartment and the living room is my bedroom.

    One time the older girl cooked a chicken for Sunday roast and left the carcass on a wooden chopping board, plus all the dishes and cooking things, on the counter for a week. I got fed up and cleaned it up. When I lifted the chopping board to dump the chicken carcass, the board was glued to the counter.

    The older one was also really messy, all her crap spilled out of her bedroom into the hallway. She left all her coats and shoes in the hall behind the front door, so you can barely open the door to get in or out. She also trimmed her pubes in the tub and left the trimmings, and leaves used leg-waxing strips all over the bathroom floor. Luckily she moved out this week so hopefully the new girl is better.

    The younger sister mostly keeps her mess in her bedroom, which is fine with me, but she never takes out the trash and leaves her dishes for ages. We have lived together before for a year, and are friends from university so I don’t want to mess up our friendship but she is so thoughtless. For instance, my mother came to visit and she is really clean, and felt bad for me, so she did everyone’s dishes every night and cleaned up the kitchen. The girls didn’t even notice, and never said thank you to her. Then my mother put some food on to cook and left a clean plate and fork on the side, and went to read in my bedroom. When she came back into the kitchen to serve her food, the younger sister had taken the plate and fork to eat off. I guess she thought the same Dish Fairy who did all the dirty dishes had left it out for her as a gift. WTF.

    Anyway I am too broke to get my own place for another six months so I’m just trying to be zen about it until then. I can’t leave the mess, it makes me too unhappy and stressed out so I just have to keep cleaning up. All I can say is at least I’ll be in my own place soon and then the new girl can deal with their disgusting lazy thoughtless selfish living style.

    Reply

  147. January 10, 2010 at 6:46 pm, Guest said:

    I am so glad that I found this site, and I can definitely relate to many people’s issues with roommates on here! A few months ago, I moved into an apartment with a friend from high school, and it has been the worst living experience ever! For the first few months of us living together, she wasn’t working yet and was studying for an important exam, and told me that she wouldn’t be cleaning for a while because she was busy studying for this exam. Seriously? Then one weekend I went away for work, and purposely left the dishes in the sink for her to do just to give her an idea of what I had been doing for all of these months, and to my surprise, the dishes were actually cleaned and she got the hint so we decided to put the dishes in the dishwasher as soon as we used them, which has worked so far. However, she continues to scatter her stuff all over the apartment, which includes boxes from packages she gets, plastic bags, and in the living room, which we share, she leaves bowls of cereal out, a bag of cereal on the couch, empty wrappers, and not to mention empty waterbottles and coke cans as well as a bottle of open syrup! Gross! She is also very demanding and is used to getting her way, as a result of her mother basically doing everything for her and cleaning up after the only daughter she has. It is very frustrating to think that someone you are good friends with has so little respect for the space you share!Thank goodness I am moving in with my fiance soon and someone else can deal with her gross living habits!

    Reply

  148. February 01, 2010 at 8:12 pm, Anonymous said:

    I live in a rented house with 2 mates from University, within a week or two of not cleaning up after either of them the house is a disgrace. Mouldy food on the sides, lost dishes/cutlery, Rubbish cluttering the floor, dirty clothes everywhere, cigarette buds, you name it we’ve most likely got it on our floors. And It’s got to the point where it’s physically impossible to make anything in the kitchen without atempting to move or clean your way to the sink, recently one of my housemates has been using the kitchen as a studio to build his sets, leaving bowls with paint/pva glue, latex etc open and fixing to the floor/kitchen table surface.. The Place stinks, greese is developing on surfaces, bin bags clutter the hallways open toxicating the atmosphere. My Girlfriend hates coming around to see me sometimes because the place gives her headaches, and im ashamed to bring my parents round to visit. We even have rats in our garden, it looks like a skip.

    Recently my landlord has got involved, because after 2 years im sick of cleaning up after them and my landlord knows, ive tried everything imaginable before now, even sucessfully managed to get the house clean on several occasions by simply biting the bullet and cleaning up myself no matter who’s mess it is, but after a week or two finding it just returns to the way was.. My landlords had to come round and take pictures of the mess, becoming actively involved in my housemates messiness threatening to incur them with charges for having the place cleaned and re-decorated for the damages.. Even threatening to contact the university with the evidence she has.

    Though the place is now clean, Ive most likely fallen out with my mates over this, though I wasn’t involved in my landlords actions my housemates are still very sour with me for just being normally clean. As if I am somehow partly to blame for agreeing with my landlord, that the mess is just not acceptable. I’ve been sweet as pie about the situation from day one, but after a year or two I don’t think anyone would be so nice about it. There’s only so much someone can tolerate.

    I would agree not to move in with any of your friends, unless you know what they’re like to live with, they could be the nicest people in the world but if they effect your quality of life they aren’t worth it.

    Reply

  149. April 28, 2010 at 5:18 am, braverman said:

    I now reached the “zero tolerance” phase which means throwing away whatever the object of the dirtyness/messyness is without even asking or warning any more. Some people should leave in zoo’s but not along with the other, certainly cleaner, animals.

    Reply

  150. July 01, 2010 at 8:58 pm, laughing outloud said:

    can we all meet up and move in with each other?

    Reply

  151. August 21, 2010 at 12:11 pm, Chris said:

    It wont help you to deal with a messy roommate, but if you have problems to imagine what a dirty roommate is : go check it on mydirtyroommate.com . I decided to start this blog after having taken a pic of my shower…I said to myself, I have to share this, so I created this website.

    Reply

  152. September 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm, Guest said:

    I recently moved into a two bedroom on campus apartment at my university. I have never lived alone but I also come from a home where my family doesn’t like to clean and I was always doing the cleaning so I was relieved to be moving out.

    The first day I moved into my bedroom that I share with another girl (the messy one) I realized that there were going to be problems. The bathroom had NEVER been cleaned. Her side of the bedroom had a dirty carpet which had spilled over to my side of the room. There was dust EVERYWHERE and little ants and other insects too.

    The other girl who has her own bedroom doesn’t have to deal with the slob other than when we use the kitchen or living room.

    We have been living here for a week and the slob still has not thrown away milk that expired two months ago… All she did was buy new milk.

    Nobody EVER throws out the trash (including the not so messy roommate). And the refrigerator is so dirty that there’s not only food particles in there there’s also HAIR. Yes, HAIR. There’s hair EVERYWHERE.

    When I moved in she had been living here for a year and the girl that was living here before us who had her own room left her because, well I assume, she was sick of living with a dirty girl.

    I just don’t understand why she doesn’t clean up after herself? I understand if she didn’t want to clean up while living here by herself but this apartment belongs to the university and I paid a $200 security deposit.

    What I don’t understand is why she wouldn’t clean the apartment that she so obviously used for a year after knowing that she was getting new roommates.

    Fine, I get that she likes to be messy alone but now I’m living here and I don’t want to tolerate this shit.

    What I’ve decided to do is to clean half of everything. I cleaned half the sink, half the toilet, the shower the mirror and I only cleaned the space in the refrigerator that I’m going to use.

    I guess the only thing I can do is to submit a complaint the our RA just so that stuff is on record because some of this stuff is permanent. I mean, if you don’t clean something for a year that soil becomes permanent. If you don’t clean a stain the day it set then that stain becomes permanent and I shouldn’t lose my security deposit just because this slob doesn’t like to clean up after herself.

    Today when she comes home I’m going to very nicely talk to her about my home life and how messy my family was and how I was looking forward to living with people who are at a university and responsible for themselves. And if guilt tripping doesn’t work I am going to threaten her with submitting a complaint with her. I will get her kicked out of this apartment if she doesn’t shape up.

    Reply

  153. September 28, 2010 at 1:50 am, Guest said:

    I moved into a two bedroom apartment that I could afford comfortably on my own and I used the second bedroom as an office.

    Unfortunatly, I was laid off(yay economy) but found another job that pays much less. I asked my landlord if I could move into a one bedroom but they said I had to finish the lease in my current unit, etc etc. So I consolidated my office and bedroom into one and put the other room up for rent so I could weather the storm and not break my lease. Somehow, renting out the room turned into a free for all of abuse to the rest of the apartment by my roommate and his live-in girlfriend. They both only work part time now and they spend their free time getting drunk and/or high every day. Then they cry the blues that they never have any money. They have burned my couch, and lied about it. Everything in the kitchen is covered in grease. The girlfriend is in food service and never washes her clothes- just puts them in the dryer, so now it smells funky. Some of my tools have disappeared… and probably more stuff that I haven’t found out about yet. And this is only a sample.

    So, I told them that they now have to pay half of the rent(not what I had been charging them for just a room) or leave. Also, anything that I could salvage I put in my room and installed a lock on the door. I never eat at home becuase I am not going to pay for food and other supplies that they will just eat or use it, and I do my laundry elsewhere. When I am home, I just hide in my room. I have worked since I was fourteen and I have a college degree, and this is a bullshit way to live after working so hard.

    I can not wait to get out of this lease and into a modest one bedroom that I can afford on my own.

    Reply

  154. November 03, 2010 at 11:35 pm, Henry Mayors said:

    Great post! I have been a frequent visitor of this website for awhile and love it. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  155. January 22, 2011 at 9:32 am, Anonymous said:

    I am also dealing with two dirty roommates but the case is not so worse like you people. Anyways, I don’t know what to do to take me out of the situation

    Reply

  156. March 28, 2011 at 9:40 am, Anonymous said:

    I just wanted to put my roommate problem out there to see if I am over reacting about this. I am living with a grad student a little younger than me(I am a grad student myself). She invited her brother and two of his friends over to spend two nights. She asked me if this was okay and I said it was fine. Of course, I thought in my agreeing that the guests would be tidy and considerate. Instead, they filled up our apartment with beer and trash and when they left they left their mess. This was beyond me. I was considerate enough to let them stay so that they would not have to pay for a hotel. The least you could do is take your left over beer and garbage with you. What was worse was my roommate just left it there for days to accumulate in our living room in garbage bags. So, I had to throw it all away-how convenient for her, right. I didn’t appreciate the fact that she gave her brother an apartment key while she was in class all day. Our apartment is not their place. To add insult to injury, I stayed in my room basically the whole time they were there because their mess took up the whole space of the apartment. I guess when I said yes to them coming over I set myself up for this.

    On top of this, my roommate always leaves her dishes everywhere on our breakfast bar. It looks tacky. She also takes up most, if not all, of the room in the fridge. I am tired of struggling to find a place for my food. I have to use the top of my fridge as a place for my cereal because she also takes up our pantry. I don’t know what to do about his because it is making me feel unwelcome in my own apartment. Like she wants all the space for her things. Should I talk to her about these concerns? I don’t think she got my nonverbal hints that I am unhappy with this situation.

    Reply

  157. August 07, 2011 at 7:41 am, Guest said:

    Hey guys! I need some help here! I’ve been living with my roommates for about a year now. And I’ve followed all of these tips to get them to help me clean. Most of the time I’ve been letting things go and just cleaning up myself. I’m cleaning a three bedroom apartment on my own – when I’m not even messy and rarely home. I want to move out into a studio or one bedroom. How do I make it work in my current situation ? I still have a few months left on my lease and I also need to save up for a security deposit. I think I’ve reached the end of my rope here – I’m tired of cleaning up after everyone.

    Reply

  158. October 03, 2011 at 12:24 am, Amy said:

    People don’t change very easily. Habits like this are established early on in life. If you need someone to blame, blame your roommate’s parents/guardians. They either passed on bad habits or simply failed at teaching their son/daughter to be more courteous and contentious.

    The solution is not to change behavior; it’s too late for that. The solution is money. Yes, money. For those of you in college, this is a bit harder because the rent is already paid. But for everyone else, listen up: prior to moving in with a known messy roommate, make an agreement. Say look, I’m clean and I like a neat place. If you pull your weight, our rent is equal; however, if you can’t or don’t want to keep a clean apartment, simply pay more per month. Pay an extra $100/mo and they can leave all the shit they want around. The price and terms are yours to set, but the general idea is there. Living like a slob is a luxury; remind them of that. They can have it – at a price. Maids get paid. Slaves don’t. Ask yourself – would you put up with their mess if they were paying $50/mo more than you? $100? What’s your price? Cleaning up takes time. Your time is money! Don’t get ripped off! Bring money into the equation!

    Reply

  159. November 03, 2011 at 11:07 am, laundry said:

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  160. November 15, 2011 at 8:31 pm, Anonymous said:

    I feel so much better after reading all of these comments. I almost left a long note in the kitchen this morning saying how I am sick of cleaning up after everyone. See, I come from a very clean household, my mother has taught me very well how to clean and maintain a neat household. The problem is, my roommates don’t know how to clean very well, or do anything else for that matter. Two of my roommates are twenty-one, one is an only child, the other has never had a job in her life and can barely make spaghetti. It baffles me how these two girls, women I should say, are about to graduate college and literally have no common sense about things, it drives me crazy! Don’t get me wrong, they are sweet girls, but lets be honest, they are straight up DUMB. They leave full pots and pans of leftovers and just stick them in the fridge….uhhh we have Tupperware for a reason. I honestly dread hearing the sound of them cooking because I know it will just be a mess for me to clean later. One of the girls likes to make eggs in the morning, and she leaves the pan just sitting on the stove EVERY SINGLE TIME. It sat there for a week before it became so disgusting I had to wash it before the pan became permanently caked in grease and God knows what else, its disgusting. And she never wipes off the stove top when she’s done. I have literally had to clean it every single time. That’s where we make our food, I don’t understand how she could leave it dirty like that. They also love to bake, okay what girl doesn’t like to bake, but they bake seriously EVERYDAY. Its a little excessive. And they have this weird thing where they don’t believe in using our dishwasher because they feel “it doesn’t clean the dishes very well”. First of all, that’s what a dishwasher is there for….TO CLEAN DISHES, second, maybe if they knew how to properly load a dishwasher the dishes would get clean! So now they leave all of their dishes in the drying rack on our counter until it becomes so cluttered that I can’t stand it and put them away. And don’t even get me started on our refrigerator…..it’s a disaster. The middle drawer in our fridge is currently broken so their food has taken over the entire fridge. My one roommate has eight different bags of cheese…..EIGHT. What on earth could you ever possibly need eight bags of cheese for at one time?!? And they’ll leave leftovers in the fridge for weeks until I just throw them out because I know they will never eat them. Our freezer is just as bad, if not worse. My other roommate and I have already addressed the fridge problem with them and it has gotten somewhat better, but I’m just so fed up feeling like im living with small children rather than seniors in college. I don’t do well with people that have no common sense, but I’m doing the best I can. They are nice girls so I have no reason to hate them, its just incredibly frustrating. I realize they have had different upbringings than I have, but its tough. Thankfully reading all of these different stories helped a lot!

    Reply

  161. November 20, 2011 at 3:43 pm, Anonymous said:

    Anonymous right above me made me feel so much better! You got it exactly right! Every issue you addressed is what I’m dealing with. My two best friends and I are rooming with three other girls and a shared kitchen. Two friends and I…. like a decently cleaned house at least people! Two of the others don’t find it necessary to clean your own dish, take their moldy food out of the fridge, or even make an effort for that matter! We’ve tried confronting them about the issue multiple times. One of them bitches at us, the other makes an effort to compromise. But in the end, nothing changed. I’d like to feel like I could have someone over to our apartment once in awhile.. but NEVER EVER would I bring someone in this mess! We had an problem this week with moldy food in our fridge. I asked whose it was (even though I knew), the girl said it was hers.. but wait… she says “You can clean it.” I’m sorry, what? When did I become your mom? I’m not here to clean you’re moldy mushroom soup? I set it on the counter to make a point I won’t clean it. They walked by it and left. My two friends and I had had enough, and set it outside their bedroom door. Yes, I will be the first one to admit it was so immature! But, nothing else was working! We’ve done notes, we’ve tried asking them nicely, we’ve had one other fight about it… but nothing was resolved. In the morning, they put it back on the counter, and piled more dishes in the sink. We apologized for leaving it outside their door, we just felt we had no other option. In the end we learned they cannot handle living on their own! “I’ve never had to do a chore in my life. I’ve always had maids,” was one of their answers. It was difficult not to laugh at that one. Looking for any new ideas of how to resolve this mess! And here I am looking at… “how to deal with messy roommate” blogs!
    Anyways, the stories above helped. Thanks for the help!

    Reply

  162. November 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm, mary said:

    i’m happy I’m not the ONLY one dealing with this issue…you see i don’t really have a roommate, i have a permanent step sister who has moved in with me for 5 yrs now and she used to be VERY clean in her own room but when it comes to mine…she’s got no problem with ruining everything and living in filth, from bringing food into bed all the way to spilling make up on the bed, it’s just NOT working. The room is very small and I try not to complain but she’s taken 100% control over the room and leaves BIG items in the middle of the communal areas and asks me not to move it…if I move it she comes home and screams to the top of her lungs for 10 hours and gets the whole family involved and it ends up with me not having enough tolerance over a poor girl just trying to make it through life.

    It’s not just the mess in the room, she rarely EVER cleans her hair off the bathroom floor after she blow dries her hair, doesn’t wipe off her BLOOD off the toilet seat when she’s on her period…doesn’t clean the pounds of smeared make up on all the mirrors she leaves, doesn’t even touch a single house chore for months…and all she ever says is I do these things at work all the time so I’m tired!!! (she’s a nanny) well what in the world have I done to have a life like this???

    I go boarder line to SUICIDE when i see NO WAY out of this!!! nobody understands what I go through…she not only has a whole apartment with her room untouched, she has half of my tiny room and she keeps hoarding too!!! the closet pole BROKE because of how much clothes she put in there…i can never hang anything in the closet without it being absolutely wrinkled from all the pressure anymore…I half to even share half of my bed!!! she brings anything she wants from the other place and then KILLS me over me ever saying it’s too much stuff or let’s give some stuff away or that’s too big for our room…

    I don’t even know how i got here anymore…after my mom’s marriage, she didn’t have her driver’s license and her dad had to get up at 6am to go take her to work…so my mom GRRRRRRR my mom invited her to come spend the night a few times…and a few times i felt bad for her sleeping on the couch while i was in my comfy and clean room SOOOO i told her, “hey you can come spend the night in here with me!” and BEHOLD…her taking over after 5 yrs…all of her stuff are in that room now and she NEVER goes to the apartment anymore…she’s absolutely forgotten that she needs her license…we’re ALL at her service and she just NAGS NAGS NAGS…24/7 my head hurts, my stomach hurts…my this hurts my that hurts…ruins most of our dinner nights…she’s ruined more special occasions in my life than my 2 yr old cousin did over wanting to blow out my birthday candles!!! and get this…she is TWENTY SEVEN YEARS OLD! yes….this is NOT a child…it’s A GROWN WOMAN whom doesn’t know how to take care of her shit whatsoever….no driving…schooling not finished yet…unstable income…bad temper…horrific taste in boy friends…psychotic attitude majority of the time and claims she has a logical mind and her mind works really well!!!! oh did i mention she’s under weight and likes it that way and forgets to eat so she faints and gets panic attacks? then she will still have enough energy to argue with you in the middle of it all which is why we thought she was faking it for the longest time.

    I mean I’m sure i have horrific traits too. I don’t like to talk too much or listen too much and she’s a TALKER for 17 hours straight over a toothpaste brand!!! I don’t like to bring food in my room and munches on chips at 3 am next to the bed!!! i hate hate HATE declaring how i feel out loud to the world every seconds and she has to do that to feel better!!! I don’t like to bring up deep shit over dinner or good occasions and apparently everyone’s hard work has nothing to do with her so she’ll ruin yours thank you very much…she just ruined our thanksgiving dinner TONIGHT!!! I told her to wipe off her blood from the toilet seat and she threw a 20 minute long conversation at me and i couldn’t bare with it anymore and ended up saying wow stop talking and she threw a further tantrum and got the whole house involved and frankly we will have NO dinner tonight…the rest of the night will be spent in her therapy. and how she’s soooo unfortunate and sad to have a horrible sister like me…who has so many flaws and is not a great person and can’t lend a hearing ear…and just can’t understand.

    My GOD!!! I get on my period too and i don’t threw ANYTHING at anyone!!! it’s a **** myth that woman HAVE To get cranky cause of it…all i know that life is NOT like this everywhere…and i’m tired of living with her in a tiny hole!!! i’m tired of it all…i don’t care if she reads this one day!…i want her OUT! i want my room back! i wanna be like everyone else she loves sooo dearly whom only come one day a month and sit down and listen to her and bring her cookies and all of a sudden they’re the BEST human beings ever…

    NOBODY would wanna live with such a cranky dependent B***!!!! you think I’m exaggerating? here’s a day with her:

    I wake up to her at 6am saying “i haven’t had much sleep!!” (she was up all night picking her face in the bathroom as a result of her psychoness and left all the sink and handles bloody probably)…she spends a good 30 minutes making plastic bag noises (she didn’t get her stuff ready for work the night before so now she has to get them NOW) and also with constant calling of her brother’s name cause now he’s the one that has to take her to work…and bring her back…and take her everywhere else, so he spends the night on the floor with no job just waiting for her to call him so he can be of service!

    then she goes and i don’t see her til she’s back from work and i’m back from work around 6pm ish…”i have a headache…” the kids did this today..the kids did that today…all of this while i’m in my own space trying to do stuff on the computer and then all of a sudden…”YOU INTERRUPTED ME!!!” and im like what??? you came here and started talking to me KNOWING i’m doing something else and i’ve interrupted you? sooo it happen there for a good 1 hour…relating things to the past n how i don’t communicate well…etc…it may end up with her asking questions which i don’t answer and then she yells and screams…or throws stuff around…n leaves the room…then txts me tomorrow explaining again and we come home she does it again!

    i used to listen to her…and i got behind on everything…i didn’t move for days…didn’t get homework done…had the food burn…etc…she’s a broken record…LOVES talking!!! takes absolute pleasure in it.

    This page is going to look like a blog…but I don’t think ANYONE is stuck as much as I am!

    Reply

  163. November 24, 2011 at 9:20 pm, mary said:

    just to be fair, i am extremely angry right now…so i wrote a lot up there…i mean i cam eto this web-site to see how i can deal with this better but it doesn’t seem like there’s a way other than sucking it up.

    Reply

  164. January 11, 2012 at 7:06 am, bethany said:

    More or less the same situation.

    I feel the rage and helplessness when the clutter and mess make it clear that she expects me to pick up her stuff to use the common areas, and that all free space is hers. Also, she has decided that all the stuff in the flat is hers.

    I tried addressing the issue early on. I tried being the adult. I tried pointing out that it was an inconvenience. I was reasonable. The expectations were made clear in the beginning.

    None of that stuff worked. She’s one of those people who talks big but is too lazy to follow through. Her apologies are meaningless.

    So, I went passive aggressive. What it did was make the living situation uncomfortable for her. I’ve embarrassed her in front of friends by storming out when they make too much noise. I’ve ignored her existence, dropped all the consideration I had before, and stopped doing any shared household chores except when she does something first. I’ve removed my stuff that she likes to use (and leave dirty) and locked it up. I’ve cussed, stomped, and thrown things around making it hazardous to keep things in the common area. And to avoid the drama I’m making, she does her dishes more promptly. And she avoids having friends over. She never respected me anyways, so nothing lost except my image as “nice mommy”.

    Next time the room is rented out, I’m going to demand an agreement in writing with penalties.

    Reply

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  166. February 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm, fedup.com said:

    Just reading these stories makes me feel so much better. I “confronted” my messy housemates today about one of the many things they do, which is leave piles and piles of their stuff in the living room and kitchen. I’m a bit of a doormat and struggle massively when it comes to confrontation so I purposely kept a bag of my own stuff in the room, picked it up and said “lads would ye mind later if maybe we all gave a quick whip around the room to pick up all our bits and bobs and moved them into our rooms, its just getting cluttered”…..They did it alright but Im now being blanked and the two are smoking outside giving out about me so much! Its just ridiculous that I’m being made feel bad about this. They literally removed BAGS of their stuff!! How can they not understand where I’m coming from?!? It really is a nightmare. One in particular is the pits!! She leaves smelly socks all over the floor, piles of laundry thrown everywhere, turns down the t.v when shes been out of the room for over an hour and has just come back in but its “giving her a headache”, keeps piling rubbish on top of the bin to the point that shes balancing stuff on it to avoid changing the bin liner, and her idea of doing the dishes is piling them all into the sink, filling it with water and leaving them there…so I have to come along the following morning and reach into a cold, stinky sink to unplug it and put them in the dishwasher. Not to mention using my shampoo, conditioner, face wash etc. If I’m away she has friends sleep in my room because I cant lock the room as the immersion is in there.The rant could go on and on and on!! I just hate that I’m being made out to be this nag because I asked them to move their stuff!! If they only knew!!

    Reply

  167. April 20, 2012 at 1:38 am, GUEST said:

    It’s so liberating to know there are others in the same situation!
    I think to be able to get it out really helps, because I can’t say these things to the offending person, they’d just get mad and think I’m being mean. They wouldn’t change their behavior.
    For financial reasons I and my husband live with his sister, or I should say his sister lives with us, but it’s a bit twisted because she wanted an apartment and picked the one we are living in now and we moved in together because we are trying to save money this year so we can move out of the country next year.
    But then we (my husband and I) took out a loan to get the place and we brought all the furniture, pots, brooms, tv everything! from our previous place. She promised to buy new better furniture later, but never did.
    I do all the upkeep and he makes sure all the bills/utilities/handyman jobs get done. It’s our loan we are paying off, we often have to front her side of the rent and all the while she acts like she did us a big favor.

    I have two young kids and the atmosphere they grow up in is important to me, so I am the one who sweeps,mops,make the beds,dishes,deep cleans everything. I don’t want my kids living in a dump.
    The irony is that I even like cleaning but it get’s really tiring when you clean your bathroom and go to sleep, wake up to take a shower and She has been in our bathroom and it’s just trashed! So I have to clean it again before I can use it, then I go to the kitchen to make breakfast and have to clean the kitchen and wash dishes so we can have dishes to use (When I had left the kitchen clean last night) etc. laundry room, living room.
    So my life goes like this; I clean it, when I go to use it it’s filthy have to clean it again and again
    Her life is like this; things are nice and clean, use it, then things are nice and clean by the magic house elf
    It’s so unfair!
    Did I mention I have two small kids, I work part time, I exercise, I am currently studying French!
    She sits around all day in her room watching t.v and playing games!

    I think it’s interesting that the kind of people who leave messes and don’t think to help with the cleaning part of living are the same people who don’t have hardly any responsibilities or who are not super busy studying/working/raising a family.
    They just don’t do anything but sit around. And they leave ridiculous messes too! Like pubic hair in the shower, burn the rice, use the good towel as a rag. Because they don’t have to clean it up.
    So they do whatever they feel like doing without any negative repercussions, while the responsible one is pulling out their hair in frustration or crying as they scrub that pot that’s gonna take 30 minutes to come clean. Never live with your relations!

    Glad I could vent lol! In a few months we’ll move!

    Reply

  168. May 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm, That1Guy said:

    I have 2 roomates and 1 is an extreme slob the other I was able to convince her to be a clean and Tidy roomate, I just moved in like month ago and the slob told me the she always has the place dirty and shes filthy? My ass! When I got here, I saw a small filth concern but she picked up to the point where it’s an everyday clean up thing. I’m a guy and I work about 6 hours 4 am till 10 am early no? But I come home everyday afterwork and I clean even if I’m tired as hell from unloading trucks, She cleans as well, well we both do all the time we don’t even have to tell eachother, the SLOB just sits there and plays video games and bitches when we ask him to clean something up, we asked him to help us clean on the weekend he started complaining saying “I want to enjoy my days off.” Well I do too, finish all the shit first and then we can enjoy our day with a nice clean house, it’s not rocket science to clean up house it’s a simple task. Well possibly after today since me and my roomate are fed up with his actions and selfishness he might move out but it’s okay we already got a friend that’s wanting to move in and he is a verrrry clean person and always chill. Stuff tends to workout at the end sometimes but if he keeps all that up it’s bye-bye, he can hate me all he wants even though I just moved in I got a job in 3 weeks, all my shits together and I thank my parents because they raised me to be a clean person, I should realized he was like that, I mean his house was always clean till I found out his mom always cleaned it not him, It sucks having a friend that you knew for 4 years that turns out to be greedy, selfish, and a SLOB. I hate to say it but get your shit together or it’s out the door for real.

    Reply

  169. July 16, 2012 at 4:13 am, Caustic said:

    I’m female and I live with 2 guys (one is 25, the same age as me, and the other is 32), and my 5 year-old son.

    It’s pretty bad that my 5 year-old is more prone to cleaning than these guys.

    When I moved in, the apartment needed a SERIOUS cleaning. I don’t think it’d been cleaned once since they moved in, and I moved in about 8 months into the lease. Trash bags piled by the front door (the dumpster is a whole 20 feet from the apartment), dishes piled so high in the sink that you couldn’t even get water, and a gunk-stained toilet bowl, just to name a few.

    Guy A (the 25 year-old) works with my Dad, so when I needed somewhere safe to stay (my son’s sperm donor was a fuckwad, to say the least), Guy A offered me a room. Guy B (the 32 year-old) gave up his room to sleep on the couch so my son and I could have some privacy.

    See? Good guys, at heart. And they genuinely are. But the messiness, oh GOD. I’m a little OCD/anxious about having a clean, nice-smelling house. I HAVE to have a clean house. It HAS to smell nice. If not nice, then clean, at least.

    But 8 bags of maggot-ridden trash, gnat-filled bowls in the sink, and an orange/rust-colored toilet weren’t cutting it. I mean honestly. When we leave for work, we literally have to walk RIGHT BY the dumpster. And I don’t mind keeping the house clean as long as the trash is taken out. But they don’t seem to understand that. Trash/garbage is the ONE thing that I don’t like doing. It’s gross. And smelly.

    I LIKE cleaning. But not hardcore scrubbing EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I’ll set a bag of trash by the front door, put a new, clean bag in, and they’ll still put an empty Mountain Dew can on the counter. Or leave it on the ottoman. If they make a sandwich, do the cheese wrappers go in the trash? Nope. They sit on the counter. So I clean up after them. My son helps pick up around the house, from picking up trash to bringing dishes to the sink (those get left in the strangest places; I found a bowl next to the DVDs this morning), even sweeping and mopping.

    How is it that a 5 year-old can respect having a clean, nice house, yet two grown, perfectly intelligent men can’t?

    There was probably two months worth of lint from the dryer trap sitting on top of the dryer. The mop bucket in the laundry room had DUST IN IT. The floor around the toilet is STILL stained from urine sitting for so long. Maggots were eating through the mound of trashbags by the front door. A cardboard box from gummy snacks was stuck to the floor – to the point that I had to repeatedly soak it down with Kaboom for 45 minutes just to get it up. And I don’t know (nor do I want to, really) what made it stick like that.

    I tried the whole ‘I’m not cleaning up after y’all’ trick, but it just got messy. And stayed messy. Messy turned to filthy, which turned to gross, which turned to horrifying.

    I tried talking to them – which worked. For about a week.

    Finally I told them that if they take the trash out, I’ll keep the house clean. If they don’t take the trash out, I’d still clean, but I’d be the She-Bitch from Hell. Defcon 1 would be activated. PMS would look like a trip to Disneyland.

    Guys are terribly nervous about PMS and what it entails. Which is really not much, except for a moody woman with cramps, bloating, and a craving for all the foods she normally tries not to gorge herself on.

    I’m getting sidetracked.

    Needless to say, the trash gets taken out. If I remind them as they’re heading out. The kitchen still gets cleaned by me, but sometimes the guys surprise me. It’s cute.

    I got home the other night (I work graveyards, Guy A works days, Guy B works afternoons/evenings) to find the kitchen cleaned up. Not spotless, but clean. Tidied. Guy A turned around on the couch and grinned all proudly, and I couldn’t help but laugh. HE WAS PROUD OF HIMSELF. As he should be.

    Then a few days later, I was making coffee and mentioned to Guy B that I needed to clean the bathroom. He agreed, saying ‘Yeah, it’s getting kind of grungy.’ As I made a cup, he started cleaning up the kitchen, then went on to clean the bathroom. I was shocked, considering he’s the messy one. Older guy, more set in his ways.

    Now, while it’s really nice to see the guys cleaning, I have to admit…I don’t think they know HOW to clean. Part of cleaning the kitchen is wiping down the counters, stove, fridge, and dishwasher. Cleaning a bathroom involves wiping the windowsills and mirror. Sweeping leads to mopping. Sweeping/mopping is done AFTER wiping counters, just in case something falls onto the floor.

    Be that as it may, it’s rare that they clean, but it’s really nice when they do. My birthday just passed, and they cleaned the house for me. I came home and about died laughing. I’d never gotten a clean apartment for my birthday.

    Now I just have to figure out how to get Guy B to pick up his dirty laundry. Oh, and he ran out of ‘lotion’ (if you catch my drift) and proceeded to use my super-girly conditioner the other day. I went in to take a shower before heading to run errands, only to find it’d disappeared. I looked everywhere for it (a huge bright-pink bottle – kind of hard to miss!), yet couldn’t find it. Even asked Guy A if he’d seen it, and he hadn’t. So I used a different kind, then grabbed some from the store while I was out.

    Came home to find my conditioner back in its spot. Guy B was home. He walked past me to sit on the couch, and I caught a whiff of my conditioner. Connect the dots.

    Oh, and he’s bald, in case you weren’t catching on.

    Reply

  170. September 23, 2012 at 3:25 am, person said:

    I had two disgusting roommates for a year. One was more disgusting than the other. One roomate didnt wash his bed sheets for 5 months. He even had his girlfriend over and she made fun of his nastiness. (why she was with him is beyond me but she dumped him). The other refused to clean up after himself and always smelled like mildew. Both of their problem was a clear lack of respect for other people’s property. Last clearly both of them had no hometraining what so ever. It’s sad when a grown man isn’t house broken.

    Reply

  171. October 30, 2012 at 6:01 pm, Jennifer said:

    A very long time ago when my sister lived with a roommate who was very messy, my sister would take ALL of her dirty clothes, dishes etc etc and would pile them up in her roomates bedroom… and IT WORKED! lol

    Reply

  172. January 19, 2013 at 6:50 pm, Mike said:

    Don’t pay any bills until they clean. When my roommates ask me for money I am going to say I have it but I’d like to sit down and speak first. The ultimatum….you clean and I pay. My apt is disgusting, when friends try to stay the night they have no where to sleep and when I do give them the option of the filthy couch in the disgusting living room they would rather walk home in -10 degree weather.

    My suggestion is when they approach you for money use that as an opportunity and leverage to have a discussion about your co-habitat environment.

    Reply

  173. March 25, 2013 at 8:44 am, Anonymous said:

    Sadly the only cure is prevention when it comes to really messy people. I had a roommate who over one year lived like a pig. We tried every approach. Asking them nicely to clean up the mess would always be met with “ok cool, I will do it later”…. Later never came. We then tried a more direct and affirmative approach. This would then be met with an aggressive response or a simple “ok.” He would say “ok” but carrying on watching tv. We then made the house absolutely spotless and said “look how much nicer it is”. This did not change anything either. We even tried a rota of cleaning but he scratched his name out on the paper and went mental about it. He was an arty guy so I assume he hated the idea of anything rigid or routine. Sadly I cannot see this friend in the same way now. So to anyone living with messy people…ask yourself “am I in this for the long term with this person”. What really gets you down is when you spend time out of your day to clean their dirty plates,pans etc.

    Reply

  174. April 28, 2013 at 3:28 am, Nate said:

    I am upset that this has ongoing replies for 7 years. What is wrong with people? I by no means am some complete OCD freak, that inspects everything with a clean glove. I used to live in a band house, and lord knows a film house can get unruly at times as well. That being said, the past 3 months have been a living hell for me. I moved in with a friend of 10 years. Just back from Europe and looking to recoup some money, and find a new pad. He landed me a job at his company, and agreed to move in together. He said the only stipulation was his older brother had to move in with him.

    I saw the mess they made in the last house, and they both told me they wanted to get a new place and make it better. Something to feel proud of having. We moved in 3 months ago as of tomorrow. The dining room, kitchen, and living room have paths to which one might be able to navigate through the areas. Dishes are dirtied and left sitting around the entire house. Dirty clothes litter every open space in the communal areas. The front door opens up to a landmine of 30+ pairs of shoes scattered on the floor and stairs. The only clear spots in the entrie communal area are the one roommates laying spot on the couch, with an unobstructed view of the tv.

    I have politely asked multiple times for help cleaning up. I have managed to clean the entire kitchen and living room of trash…only to have it revert straight back in 3 days time. It is easier for them to set trash on the floor if the trashcan is full…even though the bags are right beside the can. The brother even punched 3 holes in the wall while angry within 3 days of moving in.

    Having reached the extent of all I can take…which I actually hit a month ago, but spent a month reasoning out how I could approach the situation. I have a 4 day off week this coming week(alternate 3 and 4 day weeks). I am giving them 4 days to clean the entire house, and start holding up to their own end of the yard work. If it is not finished, I will mow the lawn Monday morning as soon as I am back from work. I will charge $25 to whichever roommates turn it is. The quote from the lawncare guys was $35 a week, so I am cutting them a deal…just refuse to do it for free. If the house has not been cleared of all boxes of junk, and the piles of crap everywhere..I will cancel all of my plans for the 3 day weekend, and clean it professionally. For the initial clean I said I will charge $200 as it is beyond disgusting and a full 3 days of work. From there on out, starting the same month I will be charging $200 a month for weekly upkeep.

    I have already contacted my landlord about it, and told them I will be taking it directly out of my portion of the rent. I told them no rent deduction or money will have to be paid to me at all if they act like grown adults and clean up after themselves. They have 4 days to this coming week to get the house in shape, afterwards I take over. While it may seem harsh and wrong to them(they complained I would even suggest charging to clean a house I live in), the golden rule is simple and fair…do your part and it is all good.

    Best of luck to every other unlucky soul on here….this is the worst experience.

    Reply

  175. May 06, 2013 at 3:05 pm, Elena said:

    Can we do something legally about it?

    Reply

  176. January 03, 2014 at 9:25 pm, Caitlin said:

    When I initially decided to move in with my roommate I had looked at their space, we both lived in a dorm. She had very few possessions with her but when we moved into our apartment, her parents gave her all their things they’d put in storage, she also moved in weeks before I did, so I wasn’t able to nip bad habits in the bud. Those are things I learned about. And also, a trash can without a top is best for messy roommates because they can’t stuff their trash into the lid

    Reply

  177. January 14, 2014 at 12:29 pm, Unpleasant. said:

    I live with the worst people. They are so messy it’s probably more hoarding than a mess problem. Recently it has become so bad I can’t make it to the front door. It even spills out to the front of the house. They’re the biggest bogans and have a meth problem using needles. I feel bad for their young child living here, kids shouldn’t grow up with that around them.

    The other day I saw the biggest rat. I didn’t know they can grow that big. Even their bathroom had mushrooms growing in it. I didn’t know that was possible.

    They never have money for the bills. They use more electricity because they have no job and are at home all the time while I’m at work. It’s annoying because we spilt the bills evenly even tho they use a lot more.

    When I can I’m leaving this place. But I know the haunting memories will never leave me.

    Reply

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