Add new comment

How to kill 2,500 roaches in 2 hours.

I own a really nice coffee shop, but have these neighbors that have a BIG problem.

So heres the scoop.
If they are in your walls your screwed.
BUT IF NOT:

Take a trip to the gas station.
Fill up your gas can.
Walk the perimeter of the building you are in LATE AT NIGHT. Preferably in the 2 AM range. They like to wander at this time, (because the sun does not cook them) and you can easily TRACE them instead of just finding one or two.

BEFORE WE GO ON make sure you have a friend to watch your back so someone does not randomly throw a match into your work. You will not have a home to live in if they do. (There is a reason your not supposed to spill gas everywhere.) It will take about two hours to be 'safe' again unless you go crazier than I did.

The key to this is your powers of observation so dont suck.

At first it will seem like they are 'wherever they want to be', but in truth there are 'hives'. These hives will become easier and easier to spot as you work. Here is the trick:

Imagine you are walking dona a sidewalk that the city has not repaired in a while. Some of the slates will be 'sunken' or 'lifted' on one side. Theres a hive under there for sure. - Other scenarios include:

- Deep cracks between pavement and walls
- Storm drains that do not actually attach to sewers. (They do not congregate under 'actual' drains, strangely)
- Basically any subterranean 'cave' that they can hide from the sun in. (The narrower and flatter the more likely)

(NOTE: Roaches die at a temp of 104 Fahrenheit. The surfaces of pavement and asphalt can easily reach this in the sun, but stay surprisingly cool underneath.)
- Extremely weedy or overgrown areas will hide roamers, but not contain hives that I have seen.
- Wood Chip piles are not 'hiveable" in the daytime, but can be totally saturated at night if there is a hive nearby.
- Larger objects left unattended on the ground.

SO...

With all that in mind.
Its time for the apocalypse.
(Say goodbye to any vegetation you happen to contact btw, if you had not already guessed, it will not survive either.)

Pour your gas into cracks, and watch your step. They hate it. They will run like mad.

BUT THEY DIE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
ITS GLORIOUS!!!

Steel your resolve because you likely have not found a hive yet.

When you do, you will know.

Did you see the third Matrix movie when all the machines were flooding into Zion?

I am not kidding.

You think there are a lot. But you probably have no idea. The nice thing is, you become totally immune to the "I want to puke" reaction after you find and destroy a hive. Not kidding. If you can stomach it long enough to throw down Armageddon, you will never feel queasy again.

Now that you know you can win,
remember to do it again in the key spots a day or two later. You will find that about 1/5th managed to escape you somehow. (Yeah, I don't get it either.)

But the day after that,,,,,, 2,500 will be more like 2.

YOUR WELCOME.
HAPPY KILLING.